Hi guys I am really stuggling with this lyme thing. Right now I feel so darn alone. I cry myself to sleep & really wish I would never wake up sometimes. I really don't have a support system- anymore. I am no longer in a relationship- and that was one of the things that held me together. My family isn't much help because they are all alcoholics except my mom
I am a single 24 year old girl struggling with a part time job & part time school. I also am not sure if my doc has me on a good protocol.
I can't handle antidepressants they make me sucidal. Does anyone know what I can do for this extreme loneliness?
I am miserable at home because my live in boyfriend moved out and I had to fill a bunch of rooms with strangers that are in college. I can't afford a 1 bedroom apt.
I would really appreciate any help or support I could get. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Heather
Posted by Lioness (Member # 10655) on :
Hi Heather,
Are we related?? I wish I had an answer for you. I spent most of today crying myself and wishing I would fall asleep and not wake up.
I know that is not an option for me and for you either. Sometimes I think the pain and lonliness of it all is overwhelming.
Especially when you are struggling with a chronic illness that so many people (and doctors) don't understand.
You are not alone though. I know that because we are on the same page talking about similar feelings.
I wish I could bring everyone from here to my home. I wish I could send us all to you too.
This will pass. You will have better days, and so will I.
I pray you feel better soon.
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Heather,
No matter how hard it is,,,remember there is ALWAYS somebody that has things SSOOOOO much worse. Thats what keeps me hanging on on bad days!!
YOU are about the age of my youngest daughter so keep that in mind, I am an old codger and dont confuse what I am TRYING to say.
Please whatever you do,,,dont jump into another relationship real fast, just to BE with someone!! Take your time and make sure its for all the RIGHT reasons.!!
It takes time to recover from any failed relationship. Take alot of it.
Do alot of girls nights out, with your girlfriends to pass the time. Dont have to go 'out' either, even a stay at home fun game is better than nothing.
Do only what you can really do comfy wise,,,dont force it!! Try to treat the lyme,best practices and LLMD and concentrate on getting well first,,,your age helps accomplish this!!
But in this day and age,,,stay safe first!!! There are 'lots' of ways to be in wrong place, right time,,,dont be a victim,,,be REAL careful!!!
Be well cause I B --just don--
Posted by Aniek (Member # 5374) on :
Heather,
Have you ever seen a therapist? It might be helpful to have somebody to speak with about everything you are going through. A break up alone can be difficult. But add that to being sick and dealing with addiction in the family.
There are also patient support groups. If there isn't a Lyme support group near you, maybe there is something for one of your symptoms. You can call local hospitals to ask what support groups they know of. There are usually pain support groups around.
I know when I first was diagnosed, it really helped to go to Lyme support group meetings and know I wasn't alone.
-Aniek
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
Dear Heathnicole,
I am sorry you are feeling so sad and lonely. I wish I could give you a hug.
I have several pets who have given me comfort when nobody else could.
I think at times they give better comfort than people.
Can you have a pet? I would love to be your friend even if it just via the computer.
Please let me know if there is anything else I can do. There are many people who care about you and how you feel. You are not alone.
Sincerely,
Geneal
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
nicole; i feel your pain and loneliness tongith as i read this.
don so lovingly said what a caring, loving parents would say to their loved one! i'm sorry you come from a dysfunctional one too.
my niece, kia, 16, was featured in her local newspaper on an article 1993 about Alzheimers. her late-mom, cheryl, died at age 40, had EARLY-ONSET ad for 8-14 years. kia turned to books to take her mind to a whole other world away from what was happening to her mom/family.
so from the time of 2-8 somewhere, she started becoming an adult due to the severity of her mom's lost memory.
in the article, she stated, "everyone comes from some type of a disfunctional family". she's gone on to become a social worker working with kids like herself!
please do not take the easy way out; so i'll list this again in case you didn't get this in my newbie links/advise:
8-7-06 NATIONWIDE SUICIDE HOTLINE 1.800.784.2433 now please! If you are feeling suicidal, please call the SUICIDE HOTLINE. We care about you! Posted by heathnicole (Member # 9313) on :
Lioness, don, aniek, geneal & betty g
Thank you all for your words of support. I am just feeling like every part of my life is broken into little pieces.
I am just not sure if I am on the right protcol
Again, I really appreciate it very much.
Heather
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
24 years old.. in a college town.. and you are this unhappy.
NOT FAIR! I hurt for you. I really do. I wish I had a magic wand that could make all your troubles disappear. Lyme sucks!
You mentioned your protocol and not thinking it was right.
Mind sharing what it is? Maybe someone would have some advise or suggestions?
Posted by heathnicole (Member # 9313) on :
Yeah I would love to share what I am currently on;
I am taking tetracycline 500 mg 3x a day -thyroid hormone ( compounded for me) -multivitamin & mineral -rotate- difflucan , nystatin, and "yeast cleanse" by solaray -Detox- by Dr. Schulze 30 drops x4 -Thyro-Dyne 2 tablets once a day Progesterone 50 mg 1x a day - adrenal xtra by michaels 3 a day
* I have tried a variety of sleeping stuff- including- Melatonin- life extensions Lunesta Airborne pm tyl. pm teas valerian root Nighty Nite
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Heather
Posted by lymedad (Member # 8074) on :
Our daughter had to stop taking progesterone, too many side effects.
Here's a partial list of possible side effects from Progesterone from "MedlinePlus Drug Info" website:
tiredness muscle, joint, or bone pain mood swings irritability excessive worrying
Posted by Cassie (Member # 2106) on :
Heather,
What a beautiful name
I am so sorry you are feeling so down
We all here at Lymenet understand how you are feeling
Take one day at a time sweetie
Here's a hug from all of us
Take care your friend Cassie Posted by trueblue (Member # 7348) on :
Hi Heather, I have no idea about the protocol but am quite the expert on crying. I really wanted to give you this... Posted by Nebula2005 (Member # 8244) on :
Dear Heather
I live in Florida, too, and even though I hate being cold this lack of winter is really getting me down.
I wouldn't want to be 24 again. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with a broken heart on top of everything else.
It's hard to live with anybody, especially people you don't know very well. Roommates, ugh--oooh you have my sympathy.
It's very much to your credit that you can continue with school and work while trying to get back your health.
I know what you mean about feeling alone. Even with a nice family, I know that no one can understand what it feels like to have this disease.
It's pretty hard not to get depressed when you don't feel good, and you never know when you're going to feel worse.
Sweetie pie, you just hang in there. You are tougher than you think, and we're all here if you need us. Send me a PM if you need a second mommy to lean on.
Posted by Karl1 (Member # 10922) on :
Heathnicole,
I don't know if anyone has the answers but I can see such admirable support right here. I know it can be difficult to even deal with being online when dealing with Lyme, but keep that in focus.
I'm curious to know what you have been tested for and what were the specific results. Example, for me, I was diagnosed with MS and was found to have Lyme (suspicious titers only),
Babesiosis and CPN past and chronic infections. I can share with you the treatment I've been on with my Lyme Doc. He is very prominent in pushing the envelope and his knowledge is vast.
Perhaps your doc would like to simply speak with him. Not to say your doc is not knowledgeable, it's just to say more viewpoints and opinions are better than one or two. I've seen 16 docs to get where I am. In 9 months-9 antibiotics later, I'm pretty much 90% better today.
Give us some more background on the tests and your doctor's experience and we can talk about the treatment you are on and hopefully what some of us others have done and what our success has been.
It's the best way to get through...keep talking to those also fighting it.
It would be nice to have a facility where Lyme patients could gather and heal and help eachother as opposed to being alone. I have been very fortunate to have been married and have a daughter before this happened to me.
Stay strong and think of a tree blowing in the breeze on a warm summer day....and know you can bend with the tree and life will always balance. Foremostly, easier said than done, I know...stay optimistic about the healthy future. You will get there. Optimism Climbs Mountains.
I've spent many a day alone while my wife worked and my daughter was with a sitter and I had many feelings of hoping not to wake up either....Just know you are in charge. If your doc doesn't belive in your authority, then you need to find another doctor that will.
Anyway, my 2 cents. I hope we can talk further about your treatment and mine and others to see if we can help.
Best Regards, Karl
Posted by panicbegone (Member # 10760) on :
Im sending you a sincere warm hug. Know that when you are crying yourself to sleep...out there....many of us are doing the same. We have a joint bond..although we may not be in the same house.
What area are you in? Im in CA. I know what you mean about the partner thing. I wish i had a boyfriend right now...but NOT a normal healthy one! I wouldnt be able to keep up. Maybe a lymie would be nice..so we can tackle this thing together.
Im sorry you feel alone....I know i do. Pls write me any time. Even just to vent about things. Im a good listener
Posted by panicbegone (Member # 10760) on :
forgot to tell you. My docs insisted on prescribing me prozac 2 years ago when i didnt know what was wrong w/ me. I was dumb enough to try it.
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET! My entire system went haywire and i coulda also killed myself in that state of mind. It blew me away....i was in constant paranoia and unable to think rationally. It was indeed a nightmare and i kinda never been the same since.
Just letting you know that you arent alone in this either. Sometimes i want to listen to my doc who says i dont have lyme and just to try another antidepressant...but i know its not for me.
Posted by pmerv (Member # 1504) on :
Dear Heather, I remember when my daughter was your age and was depressed and I was so worried about her, but now she is fine. Keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. Even without Lyme you might not be feeling that great right now, with the stress of your breakup. You know stress depresses your immune system. You want to do things to boost it back up as much as possible.
I thought Lymedad had good advice. You can check out the drugs you are on for side effects at http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ pr ask your dr or pharmacist. Sometimes it's the biochemistry and changing the meds will help.
Give yourself time to heal. When I'm feeling down I make my favorite foods or visit a good friend or take a day off and read a fun book. Be nice to yourself. Phyllis
Posted by mag (Member # 8920) on :
hi heather,
Well as you can read, so many of us feel your pain- and your loss. Lyme Disease makes a slick attempt to suck the life out of us. And life does not stop for us who are fighting this situation.
Yes--Definitely, look up the side effects of each medication. And maybe some more suppplements. My sleeping patterns and emotions improved with lots of COQ10 and Magnesium supplements
Do healthy things for your self -as people said, don't be so hard on yourself, remember that lyme can exacerbate your emotions to the top floor- Life is out of control. -
If you have a support group close - even if by phone access some one. This board has helped me so much. Many seem to validate how we feel while sick and really helps to hear one another's response to protocol.
Every day is a roller coaster ride but hopefully -you are going in the right direction with treatment.
Hugs to you - and prayer that you will get better and feel better with some support
mags
Posted by heathnicole (Member # 9313) on :
Thanks to each and everyone of you that has responded to me. It makes me feel better to know that their is so much support out there.
Karl- I sent you a PM and I would love to discuss my protocol when you get a chance.
I am down here in Florida and I think I am probably going to have to travel to get to a good LLMD. Anyone with ideas can also email me @ [email protected]
Thanks again from the bottom of my heart . . you will never know how much it meant to have all that support!
God Bless,
Heather
Posted by Cassie (Member # 2106) on :
Your welcome Heather,
There is a lot of great people here that understands what you are going through.
Keep us up to date on how you are doing okay
Take care your friend Cassie Posted by Karl1 (Member # 10922) on :
Heather,
Sent you a pm response, hope you received it. I'll try your other email you posted. Certainly happy to talk!
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