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Posted by yourtroubl (Member # 11087) on :
 
When you just dont want to do this anymore. When there is no more fight in you.

I cant take it anymore. I am a usless human being. My family would be much better without me.

I dont have any fight left.
 
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
 
Please check your PM!
 
Posted by bejoy (Member # 11129) on :
 
Ohhhhh, I can hear how much you are hurting. I'm so sorry that you feel so awful right now.

The anguish comes and goes, and it will get better. Hang in there. You are not alone.

bejoy
 
Posted by LisaS (Member # 10581) on :
 
I go through this too. That hopeless feeling that it will never end. IT's such a desperate dark feeling.

Go to bed for the day. Dont try to even do anything. Maybe put an old favorite movie in. And just try not to think about anything for a day.

It will pass. It sucks so bad at the moment though, I know. I wish I could do something for you.
 
Posted by 5dana8 (Member # 7935) on :
 
Hi yourtrouble
'
I am so very sorry you sound so low. [group hug]

But,you are not worthless & you have alot of courage to face your fight with lyme. [kiss]

When I don't have much fight left I try & take one day or one hour at a time. There are a lot of ups & downs with lyme. I wait out the bad days like bad weather because I know that some good days are ahead I just can't always see them right now. [group hug]

And no you family needs you. You can't help it if you are sick right now. If you love someone you go threw good times & bad.

When I get really down I rent a funny movie or listen to some relaxing music & hold on becasue the good days will be here soon [group hug]

Please hang in there [group hug]

We are here for you so keep in touch [kiss]
Dana
 
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
 
I once told my husband that I felt like a useless part of our family. Everyone had so much more work because of me since I could do nothing.

He told me that I'm irreplaceable ... I'm not important because of what I do, rather I'm important for who I am. I am important just for being.

That's true for you, too. If God wanted us to be done with this suffering, we'd be done. This is here to make us stronger and to make our families more compassionate.

If I look at the change in the past year of each of my family members, they have become better, stronger, more compassionate people because of helping me through my illness. We've all grown.

I won't go so far as to say it's been good, but the effects it has had are positive.

You need to be strong for the people around you. Your courage and perseverance in the face of suffering will make a lasting impact on all who meet you. Courage is not saying you're not afraid ... it's saying you face it even though you are afraid.

If you don't believe how important we all are to our families, then read Lymedad's open letter to families of Lyme patients.

Hang in there.
 
Posted by yourtroubl (Member # 11087) on :
 
I am here. I made it hopefully through another day. I feel some better. My 16 year old son took me to see Spiderman.

I am just at wits end.

My husband wants me to seek treatment somewhere else.

If you could go to the best doctor in the States best facility, where would you go...
It seems doctors all tell you Lyme is not so bad and then I wonder what if its something different (although the Health Department says its Lyme) but when you talk to Lyme patients they tell you how bad it really is...

Where is a facility that knows what to do....One you can feel safe.

I feel like this will be the disease to kill me. I try to be positive but it drains you..
 
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
 
Perhaps call the Lyme Disease Association or post on doctor needed thread for your last question.

Getting support of a good LLMD is one of the major key factors to having hope.

Glad your son took you to see Spider Man. I heard it broke records and is very good.

Glad you were able to sit through a movie at the theater. This is good.
 
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
 
i'm so sorry that you've reached bottom and feel useless/helpless, etc. we all go thru this at one time or another thru this hellish disease!

i do want to pass along this info in case you really bottom out .....

-7-06 NATIONWIDE SUICIDE HOTLINE 1.800.784.2433 now please! If you are feeling suicidal, please call the SUICIDE HOTLINE. We care about you

glad you/son went to a movie together bonding and making lasting memories together.

check out the support groups shown on left hand side for your state or adjacent. click on link closest to you to see if you are to call or email the support group leader. they can tell you who is the best in your area!

may god carry you over this hump so you no longer feel useless; YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOUR FAMILY AND THIS LYMENET FAMILY! [group hug] [kiss] [group hug]
 
Posted by k-lyme (Member # 5574) on :
 
yourtroubl,

Your thoughts are being clouded by depression. You need an anti-depressant, FAST. Do you have a doctor that you can go see on a moments notice? If you do, and you get this message tonight, go tomorrow.

There is no shame in asking for help. This disease can effect the mind and you are not thinking rationally if you think that your family is better off without you. You need to recognize this.

I have been in your position, yourtroubl, so please don't think that I am talking down to you. I know what it feels like to have this black cloud over your head that just won't leave. I know what it feels like to feel all of the emotional pain due to all the sacrafices that we make due to not feeling well all at one time. It hurts like hell. Its not fair and it SUCKS! It is enough to drive a person to want to commit suicide, but you can't give in, because you know what? If you do, then those b@$tard peices of cr@p spirochetes and what ever else in your body succeed and win. Do you really want that to be the case?

You gotta be strong. I can't promise you that your physical situation will get any better soon, but what I can promise you is that, with the help of an anti-depressant, emotionally, you will feel better real soon.

These are tough times, but you'll be okay [Smile]

Take Care,
K-lyme
 
Posted by kelmo (Member # 8797) on :
 
I'm so glad you came here with your thoughts. They are real, and there is no shame here.

My mission in this season of my life is to keep my daughter alive until she can see the light on her own.

She is on several anti-depressents. This crap gets into your brain and changes the chemistry and gets the nerves to misfire.

You need to do WHATEVER it takes to hang on. If you need to call the suicide hotline, DO IT.

We want you here. I want you here. You are precious and important. Your son needs you. God bless him for his compassion. He was "Jesus with skin" for you today.

My son would never think to do anything like that for us. Consider yourself loved.

Remember, antidepressants can take up to two weeks to work, and you may need to find a couple that will work for you. Don't give up.

Love ya, please continue to keep us informed about your state of mind.

Kelly
 
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
 
Please, please hang in there.

I think we all have our moments of total despair.

Sometimes, it is impossible to see that there is a light at

The end of the tunnel......but there is.

I know I have questioned my Lyme diagnosis at times too.

This disease plays havoc with our mental well being

As well as our physical.

You are not alone. You matter very much.

Life is always important, precious and fragile.

Thank God for this board and it's members...

They have been the "light" in my darkest hours

And am sure they will continue to be.

If the Lord was ready for you, you'd know it.

Hang on to your faith, and to us.

You need to find a LLMD that you believe in and who will work with you.

I cried when I saw my LLMD for the first time.

I knew he was the one who was going to help me.

He knew too.

I am sending you healing thoughts and calming prayers.

I am asking the Lord's Angels to wrap you in their wings

And gently hold you until you get to a better place.

You will get there....

Hugs,

Geneal
 
Posted by CaliforniaLyme (Member # 7136) on :
 
I am so sorry!!! I had those low moments too and I didn't think I would ever get better, but I did. I hope you stick in there!!!!!!!
Best wishes and hugs((*)),
Sarah
 
Posted by djf2005 (Member # 11449) on :
 
you guys are always so encouraging.

i don't know what id do w/o this site.

i too am struggling with hopeless/worthless down and out suicidal feelings. nearly every day.

i would never do it, i am trying to be strong and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

i also am finally giving in and going to get an anti depressant tomorrow! yay!

hopefully it will help, hang in there everyone.

living day to day, hour by hour, minute by minute is no fun. but i KNOW i am going to get better and so are all of you.
 
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by yourtroubl:

If you could go to the best doctor in the States best facility, where would you go...

Dr. H., Hyde Park, NY. That's where I go and I'm a different person than I was three months ago. Completely different person.
 
Posted by motownlyme (Member # 11485) on :
 
yourtroubl,

I'm so sorry to hear how low you are. I'm having a difficult time myself right now. There are times that all I can do is pray. I'm saying a prayer for you right now.
 
Posted by k-lyme (Member # 5574) on :
 
Are you okay yourtroubl? You haven't responded in a few days, so I was just wondering........ [Smile]
 


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