Does anyone else feel like this disease turns you into a completely unattractive person?
How do you cope?
People tell me I look so good. Meanwhile, I feel like a disgusting, jiggly lump with no control over my body.
Help!!!
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
Hmmmmmm. That is a good one.
I don't always like my body (nothing new ),
And my mind is often off somewhere on vacation.
Is this me?
Well in that particular moment it is.
I tell myself a couple of things.
This too shall pass.
This disease does not define me as a person (whether I am caring, humorous, etc).
Most important is what I tell ask my children when they don't do well.
"Did you try as hard as you could?"
"Yes, Mommy."
"Then that is the best you can do right now. I am proud of you for trying so very hard."
I am proud of you for trying so very hard too.
Hang in there.
I am actually a better person because of Lyme....not better looking or better sounding,
But more in touch with myself, the people I love, my spirituality, and more.
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by cookiegirl (Member # 15226) on :
Thank you for your words.
I'm already starting to see the positive changes Lyme has had in the way I deal with others.
Now I just need to focus my positive thoughts on the way I deal with myself!
The support on I've found here has been tremendous.
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
Lymenet has given me so much.
I treasure the posters here.
I wouldn't be making it without these wonderful, giving and humorous friends.
I thought yesterday of how important all of my friends here are to me.
That is one thing I credit Lyme for and Thank God for everyday.
Let me know how you are doing.
You can PM me if you need to.
You always have friends here who will pick you up and dust you off.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by cookiegirl (Member # 15226) on :
Thank you, Geneal. I was doing okay despite body issues.
Then my boss felt the need to yell at me and call me paranoid.
Because I expressed concern over finding some misplaced files.
Now I want to cry. But this too shall pass. My "punishment" is a stack of busy work and threats of day-long filing in my future.
5 more hours to go...
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
cookie, honey, i worked in civil rights for almost 30 years.
Your boss i WRONG!!! To call you names creates a hostile work environment (HWE) and is grounds for filing a civil rights complaints.
If you're strong enough, and I wasn't, you can file this but you have to DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT.....
also the stress will kill you!!!
i finally left. i couldn't take the bad atmosphere anymore and it was physically killing me.
I don't regret it, not a minute....but I do still resent that others drove me away, but hey, I'm happier than I've ever been....
Posted by cookiegirl (Member # 15226) on :
Thanks for the support. He's not usually like this - I'm not sure what crawled up his behind and died.
The stress has been getting to me but I'm in the process of exploring another options.
Just e-mailed my resume. Proofread it three times. Pressed send. Then realized I had a typo in the subject line!
I re-sent it corrected, claiming I wasn't sure the original went through ok. Cross your fingers for me!!!
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
quote:Originally posted by cookiegirl:
Now I just need to focus my positive thoughts on the way I deal with myself!
my one 5 yr. old niece taught me something 25 years ago when she showed me a photo of her kindergarden class.
i asked who she liked on there, and eventually pointed to HERSELF!
SHE LIKED AND LOVED HERSELF! That's where self-esteem begins.
There's a book, I'M OK, YOU'RE OK, too that is good.
when people say how good i look, i just tell them you are not seeing my 24/7 CONSTRUCTION DETOUR map inside me. they always look puzzled. Posted by AZURE WISH (Member # 804) on :
quote:Originally posted by cookiegirl: Does anyone else feel like this disease turns you into a completely unattractive person?
How do you cope?
People tell me I look so good. Meanwhile, I feel like a disgusting, jiggly lump with no control over my body.
Help!!!
yes! except i am at the other end of the spectrum - tooo thin.
I think alot of it is the second part of what you said.
I have no control over my body. Its uncooperative attitude has made life much harder and taken away my ability not only to pursue the life i wanted (i wanted to teach and work on my art) but my ability to "live" life in any real way.
How i cope: I try to find little ways that connect me to my self defined identity. The hits against this have been very hard to take. Sometimes now i draw with crayola crayons or doodle idea sketches or try to read a little about something with art.
A little thing that i can do (with the crinkled fingers and tremors not as well as i normally would but that is not the point - it is the doing it - preserving a piece of who i am under all the symptoms i struggle with.
Posted by cookiegirl (Member # 15226) on :
Well, it's official - outside of sweatpants, I have NO pants that fit me anymore.
All in the course of 2 days.
I'm taking a mental health day.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Cookie, I'm with you.
The good news is I am able to wear my sweat pants now. Before there was something about the fabric and my skin.
I was not able to have them on except for short periods of time.
The bad news is, all the other thrift shop pants I purchased because I have gained weight with lyme and can't seem to get it off are very uncomfortable now.
If I wear them, I need to unzip them...darn.
Hoping this will pass for both of us and we will be able to get back into those pants.
I have donated most of my clothes that I can no longer get into.
But, have a few pants I have saved...still hoping they will one day fit again.
Most days I do not get enough food in me and I do eat nutritionally.
So, I am guessing it is the lyme.
I am not well enough to be at work. I thought the other day, it is good I don't have the stress of being at work and feeling like this.
It is rare I have enough energy to put on mascara and eyeliner and lipstick.
I am most likely not helping. But, I am with you. I just think of this as temporary and look forward to when I have a physically fit, tuned body back again.
I figure regaining my health comes first. The body thing can wait.
I do want I can to help that now. EAt nutritionally and try to get enough sleep and water and walk when I can.
Posted by cookiegirl (Member # 15226) on :
Thanks, kam. That did help. Just feeling like others understand helps a lot.
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