1. Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
2. No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.
3. My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).
4. Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.
5. Cats are even more irritating without power.
6. He who has the biggest generator wins.
7. Women can actually survive without doing their hair- you just wish they weren't around you.
8. A new method of non-lethal torture- showers without hot water.
9. There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
10. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.
11. A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
12. There are a lot of dang trees around here.
13. Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong..
14. Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.
15. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.
16. People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.
17. When required, a Lincoln Continental will float, doesn't steer well but floats just the same.
18. Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
19. Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.
20. 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!
21. Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
22. If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators... I'd be rich.
23. Price of a can of soup rises 200% in a storm.
24. Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.
25. Tree service companies are under appreciated.
26. I learned what happens when you make fun of another states' blackout.
27. MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill ?????
28. Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.
29. I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
Posted by Just Julie (Member # 1119) on :
yeah yeah Lymetoo, funny, in a dark humor kinda way, spoken from the land of "earthquakes R us" aka Cali-for-neigh-yay. . . Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Yeah, exactly! Posted by Tracy9 (Member # 7521) on :
OMG, that was hysterical! I am dying laughing here! That is so funny!
Great job! Amazing wit! I LOVED IT!!!!!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I didn't write it myself! Received it as a forward from my brother in Houston.
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
Here I am! Funny stuff.
I learned that our generator can run two tv's, one stand alone refrigerator,
One stand alone freezer, a small window a/c unit, and two ceiling fans.
However, the noise it generates can drive you nuts.
There is also something about hurricanes that make houseflies
By the hundreds of thousands swarm to your yard.
I swear love-bugs time their mating season to tropical weather.
Frogs do the same. Never saw so many toads/frogs in my life.
Day and night.
Was just waiting for the snakes to come and eat them.
However, without lights...the sky is lit up with hundreds and hundreds of stars.
(Which you can only stand to look at when the generator is off).
Love the list.
Still praying for all of those affected.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by charlie (Member # 25) on :
....I learned I own a hundred yards of garden hose because that's what it took to reach the neighbor's well.
there are not that many ways to be a creative chef using vienna sausage as the main ingredient.
generators have a low oil sensor...they only sense low oil between 3 and 4 AM at which time the window AC and fan go off abruptly.
If sweating is a good detox I am now toxin free.
I know how to flush toilets using buckets of pool water. (actually it's easier to just do whatever in a remote corner of the yard but the girls don't go for it so I get to carry the buckets)
palmetto bugs actually like hurricanes...they can fly even better and navigate worse if that's possible. For those of you in northern climes picture a giant cockroach landing on your nose.
Internet deprivation is worse than being without lights, food, and beer combined.
cordless phones are just decorative accessories without power.
Why people buy grocery carts full of bread is beyond me...two days later without AC or refrigeration what good is it??? Are they going to make penicillin or something??
Furniture can actually move about and get in front of your toe in pitch dark.
People who wouldn't even consider riding a roller coaster will drive a Toyota into 10 feet of water.
I'm sure there's more but that's all I can come up with for now....
Charlie
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
Storm surge is not a term used to describe "ride the wave".
FEMA is supposed to what???!!!!!
Millions of strangers will come to your aid (when your government can't).
MRE's are kind of like having a "Take home chef".
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by ponytail (Member # 36) on :
Ha this was funny ... I just got an MRE from someone who had them ... I want to see how they taste etc.
We were lucky in that the generator did run all the things you listed except a window A/C! We lucked out w/ that little cool front so I opted to operate the DSL and a laptop !
We allowed for TV/Computer time for a couple of hours in the morning and some hours in the evening! The rest of the time we were roughing it! LOL
The thing that I noticed was that it was inevitable that when I entered the dark bathroom I'd habitually turn on that light switch! LOL ... it was just maddening!
Glad to see y'all kept the humor going and survived IKE!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
The ones you and charlie added were just as funny!!! Thanks!!!
Hi ponytail! Glad you made it through the storm!! Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
More:
You know you're from the Gulf Coast if:
1. You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
2. You have more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
3. Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O's.
4. You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
5. When describing your gutted house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and an open air feel to it.
6. Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.
7. You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
8. You are delighted to pay $4.00 for a gallon for regular unleaded.
9. The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
10. You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
11. You own more than three large coolers.
12. You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
13. You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking it'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back.
14. You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
15. Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
16. You catch a 13-pound red fish - in your house.
17. You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.
18. You consider a vacation to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
19. At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
20. You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
21. There is a roll of tar roofing paper in your garage.
22. You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
23. Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
24. Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
25. Your drive-thru meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
26. Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
27. You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
28. You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a tree worker.
29. A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
30. You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
31. Your child's first words are hunker down.
32. Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
33. Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.
34. You know the difference between the Clean side of a storm and the Dirty side.
35. Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
36. You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.
37. You are prepared to wait in line at Starbucks for 2 hours to get a cup of coffee.
[ 01. October 2008, 09:23 PM: Message edited by: Lymetoo ]
Posted by Tracy9 (Member # 7521) on :
Hysterical!
I love the ones you highlighted!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
up for geneal!
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
I love the "hunker down"!!!!!!
We say that all the time!
Don't forget to always have cash (debit cards don't work without electricity).
Your backyard can be a "port-a-potty".
Gumbo pots (big ones) make excellent bathtubs in a pinch.
Also good for washing dishes!
Hope your house gets washed into a parish that qualifies for a fema trailer.
No wait.....don't.
Flamadehyde (sp?) poisoning.
Alligators do not make good house guests.
Neither do poisonous snakes.
Nor racoons or possums.
A boat is the preferred method of transportation.
Or a ride in a helicopter.
Riding out a storm surge is not a good time to learn how to swim.
Food stamps come on a debit card. You can't use them without electricity!
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