LymeNet Flash: Ok- Make me laugh!

This is topic Ok- Make me laugh! in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php/topic/3/21830

Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :

Incontinence Hotline... Can you hold, please?

[Big Grin]

Your turn....

Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :

I always love AT&T's automated phone service for repairs.

Computer prompt: "Are you calling from the phone that is not in service?"

Uh, no.

Hugs,

Geneal

Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :

the laugh in lady

one ringy dingy,
two ringy dingy

Is this the party I wish to speak too??

Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :

True story.....

2 weeks ago I pulled my long winter coat out of the closet, put it on, and got in the Suburban to go to the bank and then the health food store.

First I got out and went into the bank to make a deposit. I waited my turn, made the deposit and said good-bye and left....

I got back in the car and drove to the health food store. Went inside and I was browsing through some supplements near the checkout, when the friendly male employee said to me,

"Do you know you have a hanger on your back?"

I said "What?....I have a hanger on my back?"

He walked over to me and pulled a white plastic coat hanger off the belt on the back of my coat!!

I felt so stupid!!!!!!!!!! I said "Oh well this is the first place I stopped at"...then I said "Oh no! It wasn't...I went into the bank and no one said a word to me"!!!!!!!!!!

How utterly stupid I must have looked with a white plastic coat hanger hanging off the back of my long gray winter coat!!!!!

They were probably laughing up a storm when I left the bank!!! [Embarrassed]

Posted by glm1111 (Member # 16556) on :

Dekrator48...

Thanks for the laugh, that's hilarious. [lol]

I have gone out in public with price tags hanging from my shirt, but the hanger hanging from the coat, well that takes the cake.

Gael

Posted by lakes592 (Member # 18905) on :

LOL...love that story Dekrator48!

Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :

Thanks glm and lakes!

I have no trouble looking stupid sometimes!!

Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :

Good one - or ones, I should say.

I wore little magnets for a while, since they actually alleviated site pain.

One day I forgot I had one on the lapel area of the jacket I was wearing. I got into someone's car and the top of my jacket flew to the metal roof of the car.

The woman just stared at me with my coat stuck to her car roof. She didn't know what to make of it, and of course I was busting up.

Posted by jt345 (Member # 19638) on :

Hey Tini

I've been singin and playing Honkey tonks and small bars since I was 5 yers old. And about a month ago I spent a half hour trying to fgfure out why I could not get my P.A too work.

Well after about after me trying to find out what was wrong,the owner walked up and whispered to Me that it might work ,if I would just plug it in.lol I wanted too hide .
aplleseed
be as well as You can be

Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :

good ones everyone; but dek; you top the charts; just good thing your coat was NOT a straight jacket !! lol

do you want to talk to a live person, hang on;
of course i want to talk to a live person; dead people don;t talk.

Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :

You did it!

I am laughing... and now I am going to bed!

THANKS!!!!

[Big Grin]

Posted by Starfall1969 (Member # 17353) on :

Hey, Dekrator, I would have nonchalantly asked them if they didn't know about the new style. [Big Grin]

I don't really have anything to top that, but I can tell you the problems I'm having with my hair lately.

Hubby wants me to keep my hair long--I hate it and want a short haircut, but he won't hear of it.

Anyway, this is happening way too much lately,

but it seems whenever I get in the car and go to shut the door, my hair blows and I end up shutting my hair in the car door.

Then I try to move my head, and about yank my hair out of my head.

How about my favorite joke--I read this one in a kid's magazine about a year ago and haven't forgotten it:

Why do sea gulls fly by the sea?

Because if they flew by the bay, they'd be bay-gulls (get it? Bagels? [lol]

)

Posted by Need Lots of Help (Member # 18603) on :

Oh, jez, do I have some stories!!!

Being a woman in my 30's, I was in the bathroom on my period and my 5 year old asked, Mommy why did you poopie in your panties?? [Smile]

Also, being a lymie and taking lots of medicines and supplements, my daughter told her school that, "Her mommy takes a lot of pills". I bet they got a kick out of that one.

Moving on to the teenager who wanted his tongue pierced. He was 17 and we debated it for 5 months and I finally said ok. I made all these rules...

If you get sick, you are paying your own medical bills
If you are flipping that thing out in public, I will snatch it out
If you can't take with that peircing in your mouth, you will take it out..

I took him, and I had to fill out lots of paperwork because he was under 18. Then, this 300 lb. tatooed and peirced guy takes my scrawny son back.

I attempted to follow along when the big burly guy says to me, MOM LET THE MAN BE A MAN AND GO ALONE. I said, did the MAN tell you he is a fainter??

Well, they were back there for 5 minutes, I hear thumping and some yelling, and the door flys open and the tatoo guy comes out and said, MOM we need you.

I go in there, my son is slumped over the medical type table, White as a Sheet, and had sweat all over his head!!!!! [Smile]

He never got his tongue pierced, I guess the tongue is an involuntary muscle and the tatoo guy had the piercing in his tongue, but Alex's tongue kept jumping back in his mouth and the tatto guy was scared he would rip his tongue all the way down.

Yeah, let the MAN do it....I was in tears, I mean in tears!!!

Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :

Thanks for the laughs this morning. Need lots, I believe your son realized it wasn't meant to be. Thank goodness. Nasty!!!

My daughter did that when she was of age. It didn't last long. Mom couldn't take care of it? I knew she wouldn't.

Pam

Posted by barbarame (Member # 16423) on :

Never mind inside out. I had my dress pants on backwards as the zipper was to be in the back and tried them on like that too. Did not even bother me to use the pockets backwards either.

Was out in public and a teenager told me.

Kindly with a smile,
barb

Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :

I was in the bathroom with my then 3 year old daughter and the baby at Walmart.

My daughter crawled out under the door.

I told her to stay put and I was coming.

I had the baby with me so it took a little time.

All of a sudden this little voice from my daughter pipes up.

"Mom!" "Do you have gonorrhea?"

I almost died. I think she meant to ask if I had diarrhea.

My face was flaming red when I opened the door.

Hugs,

Geneal

Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :

You did it again!

HA!

I like laughing...

Here is a quick one... cause I gotta get busy.

[Big Grin]

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :

I was in an elevator going up yesterday, thinking about too many things. When the door opened, I got out.

A woman who had watched me push the floor button told me it wasn't my floor. I saw she was right and got back in.

On the way down, the same thing happened - the door opened, and I got out. Only there she was, getting in. When she saw me get back in again, she started laughing. Hmm.