I am just sooooooooo sick and tired of being sick. I love my family but i hate my life. Running a household is just to hard for me to handle ...the laundry and dishes just pile up. And everyone feels just so sorry for my husband cause he has a full time job. Well his job is 10 million times more easy then mine. I would do anything to be the bread winner and get a break. his day doesnt start until 9 with a two hour lunch break and ends at 6. my day is to get up at 6:30 take care of the kid provide breakfast lunch and dinner to the whole family and goes all the way until 8:30 at night...no breaks even if i'm sick. it just too much. I hate it. I just want to be well so I can get a job and not be on disability anymore and pay for a house cleaner.
Posted by Ocean (Member # 3496) on :
Hi Butterfli,
I hear ya! We used to live in San Jose, and hubby still works from there. So he gets to sit a computer all day and work and I have to try to take care of a 2 and 5 year old, make meals, clean the house, ect.
Yesterday my neighbor came over and I was of course wearing my PJ's at 2:00 pm, the house was a disaster (I had been trying to load the dishes in the dishwasher though) and even though I was having a 'good day' (I am drained today), it was hard for me to stand and talk to her (she is 72 and had no problem standing and talking, I felt like I was gonna fall over).
I am tired of being sick and tired too, I've been making oatmeal for the girls for breakfast. Turn the hot water maker on, put instant oatmeal in a bowl, pour the hot water in add pure maple syrup. Voila! It irritates me sometimes when my husband asks what I am making him for breakfast and lunch and when I tell him he says, "eww I don't want that."
Ya know what, you're a big boy and you aren't sick, I told him today that I bet his co-workers don't ask their wives to make every single meal!
And he's 28, it's not like he was born in the 50's when women made everything! But his dad would never eat until his mom made something, I'm trying to break him of it, it's very annoying to me, esp when I just don't feel good!
wow I got off on a tangent...anyhow do you have diability from Lyme Disease or did you get another diagnosis? I've been playing around with seeing if I could get it. gosh, I wish I'd known in 1997 when I was misdiagnosed with CFS that I could have gotten disability, I would have done it then!
Take caare, Ocean
Posted by butterfli (Member # 17186) on :
Yea the disability that brings up another point. I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and a movement disorder. I guess i should tell disability that its lyme and I'm not crazy anymore. my lyme doc said i could go off of the antipsychotics sometime soon. I dont think i could actually hold a job at this time im too sick. about 3 days a week i cant get out of bed. I wonder how that works with disability and if they'd drop me if i told them its lyme now.
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
As someone who worked with young children as well as stayed home
With both of mine, staying home is definitely more work.
Mine were 2 and 3 when Katrina hit.
Due to the loss of our house, I was home full time.
I just started working in January of this year.
Problem is this. Even while both of my children are in school,
Everything I did before, I am still expected to do.
Wake the children, feed them breakfast, bring them to school.
Leave school and go to work. Leave work and pick up children.
Do homework, laundry, vacuum, groceries, mail, bills,
In addition to taking care of 7 dogs!
So.....work is easier only if someone else pitches in
And helps with everything else.
Hang in there.
It took from Oct of 2006 till Jan of 2009 for me to make it back.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by butterfli (Member # 17186) on :
sigh.....
Posted by Starfall1969 (Member # 17353) on :
I'm with you, sweetie.
I've been a stay at home mom to a 2 and 5 year old too.
Now hubby got laid off 3 months ago, and I got a temp job. i sit at a computer all day and read scanned essays.
Murder on my eyes, and not good for fatigue, especially with a 60 mile round trip every day in hell traffic.
But still easier than taking care of the house.
And I still end up doing a lot of the house work stuff.
And I have to coach him on making supper over the phone because he "doesn't know how to cook." Well, neither did I when we got married; I just learned on the fly.
And then we get the "do you feel up to intimacy tonight?" HELL NO!!!!!!
I'm not saying he's a bad husband--he is wonderful; it's just that he doesn't understand how I feel with this Lyme crap.
(((((((butterfli)))))))
Hang in there.
Posted by Melodymaker (Member # 16434) on :
I am a strong believer in a division of labor. What I never realized is that I was not giving my husband enough direction.
Once I started saying, please do this and please do that, he just did it. The problem was he didn't know what to do.
I know that seems ridiculous, but try it girls. Show him how to make the oatmeal for the kids, and let him do breakfast. It will create a nice bond for him with the kids, and get you some extra rest time.
Just because someone works outside the home, doesn't mean they have no responsibilities at home. When your hubby is at home, he should be pitching in.
A friend of mine had her hubby take the kids out every Saturday, and that is when she would clean house. I think she was brilliant.
Not only did the kids and Dad get important time together, she got the peace and quiet to do the cleaning.
Conversely, wife and hubby could take turns with the Saturday "outing/cleaning". That way both would be assisting with the housework, and both would get a fun day out with the kids twice a month.
Talk about it. Talking is a great tool. Let your hubby's know you need them to help out, and give them a list of what you want them to do. might work. =)
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ocean:
wow I got off on a tangent...anyhow do you have diability from Lyme Disease or did you get another diagnosis? I've been playing around with seeing if I could get it.
gosh, I wish I'd known in 1997 when I was misdiagnosed with CFS that I could have gotten disability, I would have done it then!
Take care, Ocean
ocean, majority of us get it for OTHER reasons ... normally the MENTAL aspect since mental illnesses are LISTED IN APPROVED LIST OF IMPAIRMENTS.
lyme disease is mentioned i believe in 14.09 but it's one word only and NO EXPLANATIONS.
go to SUPPORT TOP, print off everythign in MINOUCAT'S post about disability!! our combination of personal advise.
pay attention to CONNIE MC'S FORMS...those are what are needed & completed by SUPPORTIVE MDS!!
also, it's NOT WHAT ILLNESS/DISEASE YOU HAVE ...
it's what you physically can not do!!
0-2 hrs, 2-4, 4-6, and 6-8 hrs. a day
sitting, standing, bending, crawling, climbing, using your hands cognitive skills, etc.
it's how you can do THINGS TODAY; not when you left work.
so go thru their list of APPROVED impairments and emphasize those!!! read my suggestions over there too.
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
You doing any better today butterfli?
I hope so.
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
PS. I gotta say for me it is easier to just do it than try to get others to do it.
Life is much more tranquil without the arguing.
They don't want to do it, don't feel they should be doing it and they don't do it well.
Trying to make them share the work load is like trying to make a 4 year old put away their toys when they don't want to.
And the older guys won't even go sit in the corner when you tell them too... and they sneak down later and get their own dessert if you tell them they can't have any.
Posted by LisaS (Member # 10581) on :
Amen Tincup, you want something done right, you just gotta do it! The hard part is to say "screw it" on the days you're just to sick to do it!
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