I want to encourage you as much as I want to be encouraged myself. Everyday, I know that I have to get up and truly choose Jesus, and choose positive things and choose to be happy and choose to be constructive that day.
This is the hardest thing to do when you are continually in pain, continually feeling sedated, migrane and feeling like your back is broken and friends have left you.. and family no longer understands.
I get it.. and I totally do.. and I just want to encourage you to keep pushing on... call a friend, go volunteer somewhere if only for an hour, take a walk, get in your car and screaam... get it all out.. pray.. ask... talk.. and just tell God all that you are feeling. I yell at him alot.. because I know that He could stop all of this with just a stroke of his finger.. but yet for some reason He is still allowing all of this to happen to me.. Why??? And then I see so many others who are suffering worse than I.. laid up in hospitals... we all know of many that we can think of..
Just keep crying out to God.. He hears you and I choose to believe that He is seeing and catching every tear that I cry when the pain is sooo great and beyond what I had meds to cover it with..
I don't know why He is allowing it.. but I pray that for whatever reason.. that God will be glorified through me.. and that others will enter His Kingdom..
I struggle with my faith everyday.. and yet I've known Jesus since I was 9 years old......so don't feel bad for questioning.. talk to Him. I talk to him mostly when i'm hacked off.....like right now...this is my only way to vent when no one else is around.
anyway.....i guess i'd like to hear from you.. and what you do when you get soo down and you question what you believe.. and how do you get out of the funk of it all.....
love you all..........
Posted by Jasmin (Member # 19959) on :
Hi smileynot,
I've been thinking about "taking every thought captive." My thoughts cannot constantly be on me, my health, my future. I need to keep my mind stayed on Him so that I can have that perfect peace.
It's hard sometimes...but the answer is in your post. I have to go to Jesus and not just discipline my thoughts. Without that, it is impossible for me.
Posted by DaveNJ (Member # 17362) on :
God has much broader shoulders than us and He has a plan for you. this disease is going to explode and when it does you will be there to help. I believe we are being drafted as soldiers in the war.
For sure i have already taken to helping others in order to help my healing. Is that the Holy Spirit? you decide.
That is how i've made sense of it and how i keep going.
Dave
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
we're FOOT PRINTS IN THE SAND over and over with God carrying us during our worst times...
we'll never know why; just use that time in a more productive way helping others and especially here on this board! xox
Posted by JKMMC09 (Member # 15795) on :
Without my faith in Jesus Christ I could have NEVER made it this far! We live in a fallen world, eventually we will enter our real home, where there is no suffering (or ticks Posted by smileynot (Member # 18095) on :
AMEN to all that you've said.. and thanks for posting. I want to say that for a week now.. I've been pain free.. Amoxicillin and Augmenten are what i'm on.. and I truly can't believe how good I feel. Has anyone else has great success with this as well..??
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Thanks, Y'all just made my day... been a bit weary trying to get the last of things moved to our 'New to us Trailer-home', and get things stowed.
I just needed to see this right now, when I am so tired,and dealing w/ some family sadness.
No matter what Our Creator and Lord always understands, and we are never truly alone!!!!
Thanks again to All'a'Y'all !!!
Just the Silverwolfi
Posted by Starfall1969 (Member # 17353) on :
Thanks for your encouraging words.
I've had a rough week with whatever--Lyme rage, spoiled brat syndrome (kids and me, lol), whatever.
I spent 6 hours today trying to upload photos to Parents magazine for a photo contest, all for noting--it totally would not work.
So I was so mad and upset that I was yelling at God just about everything in general.
I kno that's not Lyme related, but I have my days where it's just that too.
I really need to get back in the Word again and start praying again.
I hate myself right now, and I hate what my kids are starting to say because they hear me saying it.
But anyway, thanks for the reminder and the encouragement.
Posted by sutherngrl (Member # 16270) on :
I wandered away from God for a while during all my agony with this illness; but I am back. I can't do it without Him.
My pastor said just this past Sunday, that when we wander away, He looks for us and He rejoices when He finds us and He picks us up and carries us. So I think he(the pastor) was speaking to me.
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
I have a deep faith in God.
I truely believe that the reason I have suffered for 21 years is so I can help others learn about lyme and help others discover that the cause of their illnesses is lyme.
God has a plan for me (and all of us) and until recently I wasn't sure what it was.
Posted by Starfall1969 (Member # 17353) on :
Heavenly Father, I just lift up each and every person on this board and their families.
I pray that You will guide each of us to the doctors You would have us see, lead us in the treatemetns You would have us use, and place people in our paths that can help us, and that we can help.
Lord, I know it is not Your will that any of us be sick, and I truly do not understand why anyone should have to suffer with this or any disease.
Help us to find peace in knowing that You are here with us as we suffer.
Help us to find our rest in You when we feel there is no rest.
We pray for healing for our bodies, our souls, our relationships.
Bless each person on this message board.
I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
starfall, beautiful prayer; thx for sharing w/us all; amen! xox
Posted by luvs2ride (Member # 8090) on :
Below is a daily devotional by Pastor David Wilkerson of Times Square Church in New York City. I believe this devotional gives a great answer regarding "why we are going through our tribulation of illness".
There is a triumphant church rising up even now, coming out of great trials of faith.
This last-days church is emerging from fiery furnaces and long days of affliction. So, you ask, what does God plan to do?
What I see happening is the Holy Spirit at work bringing a people into utter brokenness. He's leading them to a revelation of weakness in their own flesh, in order to show himself strong. I see him bringing his people to the end of themselves, crushing their stubborn wills, until their mindset becomes only, ``His will be done.'' I see him leading his beloved ones into places of trial so difficult only a miracle can deliver them. And through it all, they are becoming wholly dependent on the Lord for everything.
Does this describe your situation? Perhaps you've been walking with Jesus for years, and you've never faced a test like the one in front of you right now. Things are coming at you that seem overwhelming, things that only God can do something about. And you realize only he can bring you through.
Right now, Islamics are preparing for a final jihad, to ``take over the world'' for Allah. Islamic training camps are rising up worldwide with a message of hate, characterized by merciless beheadings.
Yet the Lord also has a people in training, a people he's going to use to face down the wrath of this world. How will he accomplish this? He is training and equipping them in his loving kindness and peace. Our God is a God of love, and he won't use bombs, guns or suicide squads, but an overcoming people who are fearless in the Lord of tender mercies.
All over the world, God's people are experiencing suffering, afflictions and torture more than ever in their lifetime. And of this I am sure: there is a divine, eternal purpose in the intensity of these spiritual and physical battles now being endured in the true body of Christ. ``His tender mercies are over all his works'' (Psalm 145:9 ).
End Quote.
Posted by MorningSong (Member # 19989) on :
I hope it is okay to share this here. I am writing with a prayer request.
I am relatively new in treatment. Just finished a course of Doxy and my intestines are burning and feel inflammed. My LLMD had wanted me to start Biaxin, but I have had to stop everything because of my intestines.
I am a Christian, but I am having a weak moment in faith. I am very scared. Without being on antibiotics, the symptoms are coming back. I know it sounds overly dramatic, but it is real to me, and I am afraid that I am not going to make it.
Please pray for healing of my intestines, for my faith in God, and for His direction in the days ahead. I dont want to die.
Thank you for listening. I needed a place to come and share.
Posted by Jasmin (Member # 19959) on :
Praying. Posted by Starfall1969 (Member # 17353) on :
MorningSong,
You are not being overdramatic.
I think we have all been through those thoughts--I still go through them even though things seem better.
Just waiting for the other shoe to drop--after feeling so crappy for so long, I can't believe I can get better.
I too am Christian, and I go through periods of thinking that whatever purpose God had for my life, it must be gone.
How could God use someone who doesn't know from day to day how things are going to go?
How can I be a teacher, a pastor, a leader, when I don't know day to day if I can handle even being out of bed let alone leading a class or a church?
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Just remember that when we are weak, He is strong.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
xox