Sarah Palin: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
Barack Obama: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!!
John McCain: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
Hillary Clinton: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?
Colin Powell: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. (or Gen Schwartzkopf)
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
Al Gore: I invented the chicken.
John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it. It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
Al Sharpton: Why are all of the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
Dr Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So, instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
Nancy Grace: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!! You can see it in his eyes and in the way he walks.
Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
Grandpa: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
Barbara Walters: In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
Aristotle: It is the nature chickens to cross the road.
Bill Gates: I have just released "eChicken2009," which will not only cross roads but will lay eggs,file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of "eChicken2009." This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?
Posted by aklnwlf (Member # 5960) on :
That was hilarious TuTu!
Especially Bill Clinton's.
Posted by JR (Member # 16898) on :
funny
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Thanks for the laugh out loud. Being old enough to have familiarly with each of those "questioned" - I enjoyed each answer being so spot on. -
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Jay Leno: We're now going to go outside and ask a whole bunch of people if they know why the chicken crossed the road.
PG move rating: we don't know - no fowl language allowed here.
Gilbert&Sullivan: It is the very model of a modern chicken road-crosser Its information vegetable is a kickin' ode-tosser It knows its wings for anglin' and it votes for flights historical From one side to the other "cause I can", its categorical.
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
Tooooooo funny Tutu! I'm going to share with my friends.
Pam
Posted by lifeline (Member # 3445) on :
hilarious
Posted by joalo (Member # 12752) on :
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
IDSA: There is no real evidence that chickens even exist.
But, if a chicken did exist it would definitely take a shortcut across the road.
At that point studies show that there would never be a need for that chicken to ever cross the road again. Posted by sutherngrl (Member # 16270) on :
Love it!!!!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Robin and Dekrator.. GREAT additions!! Posted by Snailhead (Member # 18091) on :
This doesn't really fit in with the others, but I've always liked it:
"To see his friend Gregory Peck"!!!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Never heard that one! It's good!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
I like that, Dek! Posted by daisyrlb (Member # 15686) on :
Thanks for sharing, too funny.
Have you heard this one?
Oklahoman (or Texan): To prove to the armadillo it could be done. Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
That's funny too!
Those armadillos were imported from Texas!! Got 'em in Missouri too!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Fine - we know all about the chicken, but tell me why did the tick cross the road?
Posted by emla999/Lyme (Member # 12606) on :
quote: Robin123 said:
Fine - we know all about the chicken, but tell me why did the tick cross the road?
To get away from the chicken!!!! Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Yeah, Emla!!
More reasons why the tick crossed the road, please...
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
Robin asked...
Fine - we know all about the chicken, but tell me why did the tick cross the road?
Because the tick was approaching a state line and we know that there is no lyme in many states!!! Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Great ones, emla and Dekrator! Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
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