This is topic I can't do this in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.


To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php/topic/3/24559

---

Posted by Melanie79 (Member # 25598) on :
 
I don't yet know if I have lyme disease. I'm looking to make an appt. with a LLMD. Then what?

I am a mess and I feel like my life has been taken away from me. I am no longer the same person and it's so unfair. I'm feeling sorry for myself this morning, which is unlike me, so I apologize in advance. I know everyone here is suffering.

I never made it to bed last night. My heart palpitations were so bad--every other beat was an adnormality. Add to that--fogginess, my eyes were glazed over, my left hand was tingling, I was seeing spots, my lips went numb, I couldn't stop shaking (even in a hot bath), the pressure in my head was unbelievable and I felt like someone was blowing on my wet body. WHY?

I feel like complete failure. While I'm suffering, so are my husband and my 4 small children. They don't understand. Hell, I don't understand.

I really jut don't know what to do or where to turn. I can't even seem to pick a LLMD from the list. I don't have the means to drive 800 miles away, we can't afford someone who doesn't take insurance, etc.

I'm so sorry to be a party pooper. I just feel like I can't go on like this for another second. Yet I know it's the only thing to do
 

---

Posted by momintexas (Member # 23391) on :
 


You're not alone! I'm sorry you are going through this, but you've come to a great place for support.

Sadly, all of your symptoms sound very familiar.

How long have you been sick?
 

---

Posted by Melanie79 (Member # 25598) on :
 
I've been sick for 2 years. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Sadly, I feel as if I'll never get better, even if I do find someone to treat me.
 

---

Posted by momintexas (Member # 23391) on :
 
Aww, you will. I promise. You'll have some bumpy days getting there, but it WILL get better.

I know the symptoms are scary and they are all a part of Lyme.

A good LLMD and good emotional support will help you through this.

What State are you in?
 

---

Posted by Melanie79 (Member # 25598) on :
 
I'm in Indiana. I have a list of LLMD in MO, PA and MI but I can't, for the life of me, choose who to call.

I've wasted so much time with doctors/specialists/tests that I fear I will pick the worst one and waste everyone's time and my money.

Thank you for your replies
 

---

Posted by kissygoose (Member # 21314) on :
 
I could have written this post. I know exactly how you feel. In fact I was just sitting here wondering if I've done the right thing, chosen the right doctor, etc.

It's so hard to deal with all of this and when you don't know for sure if you have it it makes it worse. So many people can tell you you have it but untill you see an LLMD and have it confirmed there is always this little nigling doubt.

Try to hang in there.

I know when I was trying to pick a dr. I had to choose one who took my insurance. From there I went with who was close by (like you I have little ones at home) then I started asking around here and at home for opinions on the doctors I narrowed it down to. Then all I could do was just pick one.

One other thing that helped me where the doctor was concerned was telling myself that just because I picked a certain doctor didn't mean that I couldn't switch later if need be. I've done it for other specialists so this isn't that different.

Hugs to you.
 

---

Posted by kellyjk4 (Member # 19731) on :
 
kissygoose has an excellent point. Just because you start with one dr doesn't mean you have to stay with that dr.

The first step is getting in and starting treatment. That is very hard, and everyone here understands that.

As my LLMD puts it, this is a marathon, not a sprint, and that alone is very daunting.

You can do this. You have to do this. You deserve to have a good life and not suffer.
 

---

Posted by ping (Member # 6974) on :
 
melanie, I agree with all that's said; esp. kelly and kissygoose (love that name!). GET STARTED! You might not go all the way through with the same doc, but do get started.

Yes, it's a long haul; a marathon, not a sprint and you can do it. I did it and many others on this site have also.

Come back and cry to us when you need it.
 

---

Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Melanie79:

My heart palpitations were so bad--every other beat was an abnormality.

---