I just put my adorable little cat to sleep this morning and buried her. She had a polup removed from her rectum which the vet said was cancer. She said chemo was the only way to save her and it would be in such a low dose that she would not have symptoms. The first pill my cat had a heart attack. She seemed to recover but then she had another attack and just got weaker and weaker.
I can't believe this has happened. She seemed fine a week ago and now she is gone. She was such a good friend, so sweet and adorable. Everyone loved her.
Last month my mother died. She was 89 and had dementia so this was expected. We were not very close as she always had favorite children and I was not one of them. Still the mother I had and never had is gone. I am vacant in that loss.
THe month before a sweet dog died suddenly, and before that another one of my darling cats. There has been a lot of tragedy and a lot of stress.
To bury this all under, I have bartonella and already feel so detached from life. Now it is as though I am in a dream - a nightmare. Nothing seems real. When I realize it is all real, it is crushing.
I feel for everyone in the world that is suffering with misery worse than mine. I feel for those of you who are sicker than me or have children who are sick and suffering. I feel for those in places like Haiti that have suffered unimaginable tragedy losing their families. So I am saying a prayer for everyone that is in pain at this moment and hope that you will too.
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
nefferdun,
I am so sorry for all of your losses. I understand what you are saying.
I am grieving some losses myself, not death, but the loss of several close family relationships that will never be again.
My heart aches for you. I feel your pain.
Thank you for the prayer you offered to all who are suffering and are in pain.
I am praying for you. God gives comfort to the weary.
Psalm 119:50 says: "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."
Posted by kidsgotlyme (Member # 23691) on :
I'm really sorry that you have had so much pain and suffering. Praying for you now.
Christie
Posted by feelfit (Member # 12770) on :
neff,
so sorry about your beloved kitty..sorry about your other losses as well. Sometimes it feels that it will never end huh?
but it will. stay strong. thank you for thinking of others who are suffering too, esp. when your own suffering is so great!
Big Hugs, Feelfit
Posted by Sick Tick (Member # 23003) on :
I am so sorry to hear this. It is so painful to lose a beloved pet. And I cannot imagine the pain of losing a parent, regardless of the relationship.
take care of yourself as best as you can
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
i am truly sorry for the loss of your beloved pets and mother.
my baby, randi, died four years ago and there is not a day that i don't miss her. i got her when she was 7 weeks old and she was almost 13.
no matter the age, they give us unconditional love and acceptance. something a lot of humans don't.
although you may not have been close to your mom, it's still a loss and you will miss her.
i was extremely close to my mom and called her every day. the circumstances surrounding her death ya'll know about it.
i am still recovering from it all and it's been 2 years.
i do know how you feel and if i can ever be of support and comfort please let me know.
you don't need to go through this alone.
Posted by sammy (Member # 13952) on :
Nefferdun, I wish I could give you a real hug right now. My heart breaks to hear of all the suffering and loss you've had to deal with recently.
I will pray that God will comfort you, give you peace, hope, and strength to carry on.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I wish I could give you a big hug too! Losing a parent is really hard... and pets on top of that is just too much at once.
I hope you can manage to cope one day at a time. We love you and we care.
Posted by imagine2 (Member # 3136) on :
Nefferdun, Reading about the pain of your losses is heart wrenching. I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother and your sweet little animal friends. They enrich our lives so very much.
Sending you love and gentle hugs as you move through these losses.
Praying for your comfort!
Posted by Liz D (Member # 16739) on :
I feel for you. We just had our beloved Graciecat put down 2 days ago and are reeling at the hole she has left beind. In my entire 15 year or so relatonshiop with my husband its always been the three os us. We cant beleive how much we miss her and I have cried all weekend. hugs to all who are hurting. it sucks
Posted by nefferdun (Member # 20157) on :
Thanks for thinking of me everyone, and hugs to you too Liz. We are in the same place today. My poor little cat had an underlying heart condition and now I realize that is probably why she was so small and so cuddly and sweet - because she just didn't have as much energy as a normal cat. She had "thumbs" and we named her "Thumbalina" and called her "Thumby" for short or "Thumbs".
It was my daughter's dog we lost about two months ago. The dog stayed here much of the time so she was one of ours too. My daughter just adopted another dog and she is bringing her over for a visit today. This poor dog, a lab, was neglected and is really appreciative of her new home. Apparently she was not fed well and lived outside with a donkey - I love donkeys but they hate dogs.
Anyway I get to meet a new animal member to the family today and that will cheer me up. Especially one that has been pretty sad herself and now has something to be happy about. My daughter says she gets so wound up with excitement that she "smiles" and it is hilarious. I could use a good laugh.
Posted by Topaz (Member # 20216) on :
I'm so sorry for your losses, nefferdun.
Hearing about your daughter's dog made me smile. What a wonderful thing she is doing.
Posted by TnFlowerChild (Member # 24717) on :
nefferdun,
Please know that you have my heart going out to you! I love my animal babies as if they were children, and have felt that loss many times.
Hope you enjoyed your visit today - the new critter sounds like "just what the doctor ordered" to lift your spirits!
FlowerChild
Posted by nefferdun (Member # 20157) on :
We all agree that my daughter's new dog is also part hound. She can walk through any room and know exactly where the food is, then when the coast is clear she jumps up to help herself. My daughter's last dog could open the refrigerator so at least we have a chance with this one. She is very cute and never stops wagging her tail.
I am feeling better today. Still miss Thumbs but I know she is in a better place. Thanks for all your replies. It is comforting to know other people share my feelings and experience.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
oh a lab. they are wonderful companions. my randi was a counter cruiser too.
and yes, she did smile. especially when she thought she was either manipulating you or doing something wrong.
one time mike yelled at her over something and she ran between my legs and saw down and then grinned up at him. she knew where her bread was buttered that's for sure.
i miss her so much.
Posted by brandilb (Member # 25231) on :
I'm sorry to hear that Nefferdun! I don't know what I would do without my animals... They seem to be the only ones who listen to me anymore (about LD of course)(((HUGS)))
Posted by TnFlowerChild (Member # 24717) on :
I lost my Pearl back in Feb - she was 1/2 Basset Hound and we figured her daddy was a black Lab... what a character! Solid black - rare & unique!
People would see her with me in the truck and just see her head and say, " Oh what a pretty Lab!" Then I let her out and they add "and she's a low-rider!" for those short little Basset legs!
People that know I have "Fibromyalgia" often tell me about things they have read and recently one said something about having heard "that it wasn't good for people with Fibromyalgia to have animals." Can you believe that?? Well, I'm sure you all can...
If it hadn't been for Pearl all those years ago, I probably would have laid down and died. She saved my life. She GAVE me life. I do miss her too!
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What a wonderful thing she is doing.
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