Two lymies were out driving in a car. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right through.
This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to seewhat was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us! Mildred turned to her and said "Oh, am I driving?
Posted by fflutterby (Member # 28081) on :
Love it !!!!!!
Posted by Haley (Member # 22008) on :
Ha Ha. If only the people that drive in my car knew that's how I feel most of the time.
Posted by Hambone (Member # 29535) on :
That would totally be something I would do. That is exactly why I stopped driving.
Posted by SEREN J WEED (Member # 7280) on :
Actually not a joke to me! I (when I was at my most discognative) used to drive up to a light and check
the other lanes to see if those cars were stopping or going through the light. In a real panic. I did this for days.
I didn't know if you went on red or green. And no I don't drive anymore, but I can (now) tell the difference.
Posted by 4Seasons (Member # 14601) on :
Well, I just laughed out loud - thanks for sharing!!!
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Posted by stillwater (Member # 30312) on :
What do you do when you're feeling too ill to go to work?
You take a "tick" day...
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
******--I'm the life of the party.....everyone wants to know why I have a sock on my arm!
Posted by sickntired19 (Member # 21949) on :
quote:Originally posted by steve1906: ******--I'm the life of the party.....everyone wants to know why I have a sock on my arm!
I love it! I used to always be the life of the party period! Now that I am so sick, my friends don't understand and they miss the old me. I wish I could tell them that I am still in there, just stuck in this body of an 80 year old.
I will soon have a sock or cloth protector too and I'm sure I will get lots of attention from it. Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Hi Sickntired19, I know were your coming from! Going to a party just isn't the same anymore---you'll get better.
Posted by momlyme (Member # 27775) on :
Very funny... and true too!
I haven't had the problem with lights yet... but one day I backed to the end of my driveway and was sitting there for an *extra* long time with no cars coming from either direction.
My nine year old daughter was in the car and she asked, "Mom, what are you waiting for."
I told her I was just trying to remember something... In reality, I was trying to remember what side of the road to drive on! Posted by jenniferk32 (Member # 30718) on :
Hilarious and scary at the same time! I have to remind myself constantly at red lights that it's not a stop sign and that I can't just go as soon as it's clear, I have to wait until the light turns green. I sit there and chant in my head "Wait til it's green, wait til it's green...." Please don't report me to the DMV or I'll be out of a license!
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
--Now that I have Lyme, things are finally starting to click for me -- my neck... myknees... my elbows...everywhere else.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
True, steve! lol
I had Lyme brain today and my lyme is gone .. (senior moment?).
I tried 3 times to turn out the light in the hallway and I kept turning off the light in the living room instead (where my husband was sitting). I did it twice, then a few minutes later I did it again.
FINALLY remembered that the switch I needed was on the other side of the hallway! I've only lived here 3 yrs now!
I told my husband I just had Lyme brain and he said, "You always have Lyme brain!" Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
I hear ya lymetoo, been there, done that.
What's worse is, when you turn on a wrong light, and people are sleep in that room. Got in a lot of trouble doing that.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I couldn't believe that I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I had never done that before.
Not a good idea to turn on lights where someone is sleeping, steve! LOL Very hazardous to your health!! Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
--I've become very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.
--I know what Doxy, Amocxy, LLMD, ILADs, PCR, WB, and other strang acronyms mean
--I'm still taking my lamaze classes. I'm not having a baby anymore, my daughter is 5 months old, I am just having trouble breathing Posted by elkielover80 (Member # 28368) on :
pppffffblahahaha! Thanks for the much needed belly laugh. Everyone around me is so used to hearing me say "the bugs made me do it"! It's so nice to not be the wierd one in here Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Good ones, steve!! Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
That was funny -
Today I was telling folks that there had been an LLMD conference over the weekend, and that Horoscano had been there! Whoops! That's two of them - guess which ones?!
Posted by AlanaSuzanne (Member # 25882) on :
Could we please stop referring to people who have LD/cos as "lymies"?
Would we refer to people who have cancer as "canceries" or "cancergirls"
Or people who have heart disease as "hearties"
UGH, no OF COURSE NOT.
It's time to retire the phrase "Lymies"
Posted by Needing Hope (Member # 28067) on :
I use the phrase "Lymies" to refer to the bugs, not to myself. This is a mean, nasty, devastating but, and calling them Lymies makes them not seem so scary.
I get embarrassed when I'm walking and all of a sudden cry out in pain for no apparant reason. So I tell my husband now, the Lymies are having a party in my ankle. Then we both joke and tell them, "Party's over! Everybody out!"
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
--I'm good for least maybe an hour of the day without my Benadryl, Prilosec, IV Rocephin, Zofran, Diflucan, 29 various herbs and supplements...
--I'm the first one to find the bathroom and nap area wherever I go.
--My joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service Posted by sbh93 (Member # 30429) on :
Love it! Keep 'em coming...
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
1) What do you call a really big tick?
2) What goes tick tick woof woof?
3) What do you call a tick on the moon?
4) Why is a dog in the woods like a grandfather clock?
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
1) What do you call a really big tick?
Moby Tick
2) What goes tick tick woof woof?
A watch dog
3) What do you call a tick on the moon?
A lunatic
4) Why is a dog in the woods like a grandfather clock?
Both are full of ticks Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Steve.. you're on a roll!! Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Hey Lymetoo, I've been feeling like s*** lately. Maybe a laugh a day, will keep the doctors away.
If so, I thought it may be healthy for everyone to laugh at least once a day!!!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Fantastick*, Steve - you just won the jackpot, or tickpot, should I say?!
Your bonus question: What do you get if you cross ants with ticks?
Your turn now - you make em' up!
* Like give us the question for this word answer...
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
What do you get if you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Okay guys****this one is great!
Two lymie couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Steve - I think you're psychic - you read my mind perfectly re the jokes!
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Hi Robin, It's sounds like you been in this situation also!
Some days I forget the most simplest things. I think if they ever tested my internal functions, I'd end up with one of those white jackets on.
Three Lyme patients sit in the waiting room of their LLMD's office, discussing their health.
One says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!"
The third patient smiles smugly. "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"
Posted by TxCoord (Member # 9204) on :
What do you call a Lymie pastor who pounds the pulpit to make a point?
Empha"tick"
Remember the art of using a pun is to make the other person groan, but they can't wait to share it with someone else!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Steve, your most recent joke about Lyme folks not remembering what was going on reminds me of a friend who got up and went to her dentist appt scheduled for 8 am.
When she got there, there was no one there except for an office worker, who wondered why my friend was there, since it was 8pm and the office was closed. My friend thought 8pm at night was actually 8am!
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Robbin, I know that's sad about friend but, I'm sorry that's to funny!!!!
--If I'm smiling all the time it's because I can't comprehend a word you're saying.
--I insist on being in charge of the checkbook, because when *I* do it, I always come out a couple thousand dollars ahead.
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