I hate what it has done to me and each of you. How it has affected not us but out families. Hate waking up each morning wondering if I will be able to get out of bed today. Hate the off balance, the depression, anxiety, the unhappiness... Even though I try so hard not to feel so down. Not being able to take a shower without the fear of falling. Doctors not knowing how or what to do for you and not believing you when you tell them you are sick..I hate getting so tired of fighting each day so it won't control me. Those who haven't a clue how we suffer..etc.etc... Ok that is my venting for today.. Now got to go live with this curse and do the best I can.. Prayers for each of you today.
Posted by phyl6648 (Member # 28522) on :
meant to put this under general. not sure how to transfer. goofed..
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I'll move it for you!
Posted by BackinStOlaf (Member # 23725) on :
Me too. It completely ruined my life. Everything was starting to get good for me and then this happened and tore it all apart.
I rather die.
Posted by Taytsa (Member # 30097) on :
I couldn't agree more, this is a wicked disease
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
i know. when you get it, you get it.
backinstolaf,
i'm not there any more. "rather die." some how i have found reason to want to be here anyway. there are threads on here about the Positives of having lyme.
but i think this thread is really important.
it sucks and we have a right to get MAD!!!
Posted by BackinStOlaf (Member # 23725) on :
The only positive I can think of is that it shows you what TRULY is important in life. But my air hunger is so bad right now that I cannot enjoy ANYTHING. Even if I am doing my favorite things, I can't truly enjoy them.
The one thing that made me happy was dancing, and I can't even do that anymore.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
I really did love my life and all life , now I cringe in my own skin, barely recognize myself. I know.
Posted by Hambone (Member # 29535) on :
It's so hard to watch other people have and enjoy their life.
I'm happy they get to enjoy their life, don't get me wrong.
But it's hard to watch.
It's like a cruel punishment.
Posted by BackinStOlaf (Member # 23725) on :
Hambone- I agree. Sometimes I read people's Facebook status messages and they talk about their vacations and they seem so carefree. I used to be like that.
Posted by phyl6648 (Member # 28522) on :
Hambone, I feel exactly the same way. Oh, how I can relate to reading facebook. I get so angry cause I too use to be posting all the pleasant happy things in my life.
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
I'm sure just about 100% of us all - with these diseases feel the same way as all of you.
You have to keep trying to get better (U will); life is waiting for us all.
Is it fair that we/or our kids - got these diseases *no* I'm telling you, something better is waiting for us all on the other side!
I truly feel this is going to make us all a better person.
We all know how sick we are, and how hard we're working at getting healthy again. When you become well and healthy, you'll remember how many people pushed you away, and didn't believe how sick you were.
So, when you get better you'll be able to help others, and you'll believe and understand what they're going through. Not just Lyme but, anyone that needs a little understanding and help!!!
Don't give up, we're all working together on this, let's keep helping each other.
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
good words steve.
i used to dance too...won contests! also used to compete riding and i skiied and surfed and gardened a lot.
to reduce the stress of missing these activities i had to change my expectations. it helped.
i can't ski or surf at all now. but i can sometimes kayak quiet water. i get the same good feelings i did from skiing and surfing. i didn't ride for 10 yrs-but now i do at a much lower level. still feels good. and i can only garden in pots now and mostly flowers. sometimes all i can do is pick a flower or enjoy some that others bring me. but again...if yu can let go of the wishing for the before lyme days...you can get small pleasures from some of these modified experiences to what used to give you joy.
and the part above abou going thru this and then being a person able to help others...i get that too.
even others with out lyme. at a recent group where ppl had other health conditions i told how now i just picked a flower instead of groing all my veggies...and it helped others to hear that. they thanked me.
I IN NO WAY WANT TO BELITTLE THIS THREAD. I THINK IT IS HEALTHY FOR US TO BE MAD AND YELL AND SCREAM. GET IT OUT.
then...go on with your life as it is and find some joy where you can. both mad and happy are important
Posted by Hambone (Member # 29535) on :
quote:Originally posted by lpkayak: I IN NO WAY WANT TO BELITTLE THIS THREAD. I THINK IT IS HEALTHY FOR US TO BE MAD AND YELL AND SCREAM. GET IT OUT.
then...go on with your life as it is and find some joy where you can. both mad and happy are important
I agree.
You have to get mad sometimes. It's not normal to go through something so traumatic, and pretend everything is still rainbows and skittles if you just look at it differently.
You would have to be Christ Himself to be able to go through this without ever being upset about it.
I think it all comes back to the five stages of grieving. You can't go from one to five, and skip stages two,three and four.
Luckily we have a place here to vent when we have to go through the anger stage.
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