How can I deal with this incredible anger? No matter what I do my fuse is so short it scares me at times. I spend so much energy trying to control this each day and I am still acting like an ass. My family does not deserve this. I honestly have thought about stepping in front of a bus but I cannot do that to my sons. This pain is wrecking me and when it is not so bad the bloody shaking just about drives me out of my mind! (what mind my brother would say hahahaha) Sorry, venting done. May you all find health and happiness this day.
Posted by 17hens (Member # 23747) on :
Hi Jon,
I'm sure the weather last night didn't help. It sure worked things up inside me anyway. Not with the anger anymore but in other ways.
I'm glad you can vent on here. We're much better at handling venting than healthy family members who might not understand.
I'm sorry you're going thru this. It sounds much like my story and I know it's rough.
What helped me the most was Bartonella treatment (Rifampin & Zith) and supplementing magnesium.
They not only took the edge off but gave me "myself" back.
Do you have a good LLMD?
Hens
Posted by payne (Member # 26248) on :
when i get lyme rage, i go outside and hug a tree for 5 min,
or to the bathroom and look deep into the mirror at my self,
and remember that is the old me still on the outside, its my blood boiling with this bacteria that makes me mad as hell, then i wash my face with luke warm water and start over, with a smile.. and you know your loved ones like to see you smile, they deserve it and so do you...
its the lyme that hates it when you smile.
Posted by Twisted Jon (Member # 31236) on :
Thank you 17hens, I am working on getting to a LLMD. Sent the paperwork to them Saturday, hope to hear from them tomorrow to set an appointment. There is a month and a half waiting list with children getting priority (as it should be!) so not sure when I will get in. I usually have to close my eyes for a moment and take deep breaths and remember I have control. I try so very hard to remember that this too shall pass. Just takes time...
Posted by darwinsdream (Member # 30314) on :
I get the anger monster at times also. It helps me to take some calming herbs, anti-anxiety meds, deep breathing, and a good cry.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I know how horrible it makes me feel at times. We're all going to get through this to see a better day. We will.
It really does help to let it all out.
Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :
I found mood stabilizers very helpful. Also try to go see a GOOD pain management doctor.
Posted by 17hens (Member # 23747) on :
Note: This excellent symptom list says rage is from babesia!
Babesia Symptoms rage dispair depression
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
That's strange. I guess we're all so individual with our symptoms. I had babesia and Lyme. Have thankfully never had rage.
Posted by daisyrlb (Member # 15686) on :
Jon, So sorry you are having such a rough time.
You came to the right place to vent and to get support and encouragement. Others have given some practical info that I trust is helpful.
Just said a prayer for you. May you experience God's peace.
[ 04-18-2011, 12:36 PM: Message edited by: daisyrlb ]
Posted by kgg (Member # 5867) on :
Been there, done that. Antidepressants help. Of course finding the right one is a trial sometimes. But seriously, they do help take the edge off of everything. And that is something your local doc can help you with.
Treatment is a bumpy road. The AD's can help with that too.
Magnesium is also helpful to calm and relax.
Hang in there, Karen
Posted by ktkdommer (Member # 29020) on :
Hang in there it will get better. My son developed rage with his Lyme disease and coinfections. I was put through things I never should have had to as a mother. I knew it wasnt' him anymore. He is now coming back to me 8 months into treatment but we saw pretty quick results with IV antibiotics and babesia treatment. I hope you won't do anything stupid as help is on the way. This will end with treatment!!
Posted by Twisted Jon (Member # 31236) on :
Still waiting for an opening at local LLMD. Once there is an opening, most likely will be another 2 months before I can even get in...sigh...
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
17hens, I am working on getting to a LLMD. Sent the paperwork to them Saturday, hope to hear from them tomorrow to set an appointment. There is a month and a half waiting list with children getting priority (as it should be!) so not sure when I will get in.