Really Sad Today Want this to be over I am 25 want to move on with my life Sick of feeling like crap Sick of missing work Sick of it all SIck of missing out on everything Sick of it all.....
Posted by chastain (Member # 34236) on :
hi tricia...i just want you to know that i relate in every cell of my body to what you are saying. almost as difficult as the suffering of the illness is the loneliness and isolation that it engenders.
i hope and pray that things improve for you as soon as possible. i will be thinking of you. please keep us posted as to how you are. i wish i could help more, but my heart is with you. love, jess
Posted by JAC (Member # 34240) on :
Hi Tricia, I am sorry you are having a very sad time right now. It is sad you are so young and suffering.
Do you want to hear a funny story. When I was 12 I use to walk to the dr. weekly for my allergy shot by myself. Mom would give me change for some candy after my shot.
I had bought carmels with the white stuff in the middle. I was eating one and at the street that was behind our house I started choking on it. I thought I was gonna die. My neighbor who lived behind us was getting her bulldogs bowl of water to change it. His name was Major.
Well I ran up to her and grabbed it out of her hands and drank her dogs dirty water. I was so relieved the candy went down but I will never forget the look on her and her dogs face when I drank his water. Major just cocked his head to the side like "hey thats my water."
Well that was a yucky thing to drink! My husband likes to refer to this story as "the dumbest thing my wife ever did" when he tells it.
Picture yourself in my neighbors shoes and someone grabs a dirty dogs bowl out of your hands to drink from it. I hope you get a chuckle out of it now that I just embarassed myself in front of everyone.
I hope tomorrow is a little better than today for you.
I work from home and I chose my own hours so that I can work when I feel somewhat better. I don't have to miss time or get dressed to go into work. If you or anyone else is interested in learning more about working from home let me know. I don't make any money or get any bonus from recruiting people. I love my work, its an honest way to make a living working from home and not a scam. I started doing this when I was getting way to sick to get dressed and leave my house. I did it to preserve my sanity and bring in an income. It doesn't require drinking from a dogs bowl either! LOL Just a computer and a phone.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
JAC.. That's pretty funny!
and .. just for the record.. I LOVE those caramels with the white in the center!!
Posted by BoxerMom (Member # 25251) on :
Tricia386 - I love your sad little poem!
I'm sorry you're having a cruddy day. Make that lots of cruddy days, cuz they do add up.
Hang in there. It gets better.
JAC - You can drink from my Boxer dogs' water bowl any day!! They are very generous and happy to share (their slobber).
And I think your husband better change his commentary to "smartest thing my wife ever did." Cuz if you hadn't been brave enough to slurp down that Bulldog's water, he might not have you as a wife!!
Posted by JessJoy (Member # 33443) on :
Tricia me too. Part of it is the Lyme! You know I'm right because you remember what it feels like to be normal and happy and Lyme free, right?
I do too! But some days when the Lyme is active it gets the best of you so take one day at a time.
I'm sick of being sick and sick of not being able to work a job and help support my family. Sick of not being able to do the things I used to love! I'm not even 40 yet! But I will defeat this disease!
Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :
JAC!!! Stay away from my water bowl!!!!!
MADDOG HE HE HE HE HE!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
That's a pretty good story, JAC! And that one got Maddog going - he doesn't like anyone drinking out of HIS water dish...
When I was recovering from one of my unnecessary surgeries, due to this unrecognized illness, I was given a cafeteria menu to order for the next day.
Somehow I thought they were asking for 1st, 2nd, 3rd choices, so I wrote 1, 2 and 3 in each category.
Nope - the next morning my breakfast tray came with 1 of my first choice, 2 of my 2nd choice and 3 of my 3rd choice - 6 items in all for EVERY category - drinks, main dish, sides,
and I had just had surgery, and had very little appetite, AND wasn't supposed to laugh since it was head/brain surgery - oy - how did I ever get through that day?! I invited all guests to stick around and feast!
Tricia, I know it's bad, but try to put fun stuff back in, funny stuff back in wherever and whenever you can, because this is our level of life for the present, although it could change if treatment you're doing starts to improve you in any way - always try -
Just read your post again - is there anything you can partecipate in, at YOUR level of engagement, that you like to do? That's a fair question, 'cause no matter how bad I was, with an unknown health situation, I tried to occupy myself with activities that interested me, even if I wasn't feeling well.
Posted by gardenpeace (Member # 34393) on :
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I understand since my 23 yr. old has probably had it for at least 10 years and likely more. She hasn't been able to go to college yet, but is hoping she will be able to.
She finds funny things on the net, such as silly animal videos and she does random reading, so she might be ready for Jeopardy. She used to be an avid and fast reader before Lyme interfered. She misses it, but finds stories on the net to read more easily.
Hang in there and come back here for support.
Posted by phyl6648 (Member # 28522) on :
Sure know the feeling. Sorry for now I haven't an answer.
Posted by JAC (Member # 34240) on :
Tricia. Some mornings I do as gardenpeace said. I put on utube and watch animals or babies funniest videos.
Sometimes I actually laugh so hard that I my husband asks if I'm ok, knowing I wasn't feeling to good to begin with. Now he is on to me.
To bad someone didn't video me drinking from the dogs bowl. That would have been a sight.
Anything I can do to help? Sending you a hug and hoping you get somewhat out of your slump. JAC
Posted by James1979 (Member # 31926) on :
I love you guys' ideas about watching funny vids! There's nothing better than laughing when we're sick.
I wish the movie "Borat" was 100 hours long, so that I would always have enough material to laugh at when I'm sick. If you guys haven't seen it yet, it's a great way to laugh for over an hour straight, plus it'll boost your immune system and create endorphins and all this other nice stuff. Posted by tricia386 (Member # 29623) on :
thanks everyone for trying to cheer me up. I just dont feel like treating anymore.
Posted by Nicole_Denise (Member # 20620) on :
Hey Tricia,
I know how you feel. I'm 22. I had lyme for 4 years (2 years with no treatment, 2 years with treatment), was supposed to be "better" but ever since I've gone off antibiotics I've been worse than ever. Between the diet and my limitations from joint pain I can hardly do anything at all, and I just moved to a new city, so I have no friends here.
I don't really know what to tell you, except that I understand where you're coming from
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She used to be an avid and fast reader before Lyme interfered. She misses it, but finds stories on the net to read more easily.