I so often feel like I am in a deep dark hole and can't get out..
I know this is all lyme related and I can't tolerte antidepressants. Nor sure they would help as I want to go and do but my body just won't co-operate...
Must admit I get so tired or treatments working only for short periods of time.. I have got to learn to live with this even though I try there are times I can't seem to have any hope..
Can anyone relate??
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
make it a big hole. i'm with you.
Posted by phyl6648 (Member # 28522) on :
Will do Randibear but sure wish we could enter a ray of sunshine..
What are your worst symptoms and feelings?
Posted by aperture (Member # 34822) on :
I'm there too. Feel too exhausted to even lift my head. I feel like no human can feel this horrific and come out on the other side of this alive.
Posted by jimmy1 (Member # 33504) on :
I've often described it as slipping away, but your description of a deep dark hole is right on the money.
Strangely, I've been feeling pretty darn good for a few days now, and I'm trying to figure out why. I want it to stay! I might just be in an up cycle, or... maybe a few things I've done lately have actually helped?
Tip of the week: Do something nice for yourself.
I did some I.V. nutritionals at my LLMD about a week ago. Coulda helped.
After months of being unable to work or be around people, I actually accepted an inviation to do a small work project. Something I can do from my home office. It invited my mind to do something it used to do, and I started feeling like me again.
And after months of being sick and avoiding friends, I actually had lunch with friends last week. Put on makeup and some cute clothes for a change, and ventured out to a restaurant. Guess what? Sick or not, they still love me. Yay!
I've been forcing myself to go outside, even for just a few minutes, to breathe and be a part of the world. It's still out there, wonderful as ever, and we get to be part of it.
As we speak, I'm listening to a really fun and crazy old recording of cha-cha music.
Do something nice for yourself. Do something that makes you feel like your old self. You are still in there, just a little worse for wear from this stupid illness, but you're still you. We may have Lyme, but it doesn't have us. Hah!
* * * * *
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
for me, blurry vision, incredible insomnia, muscle and joint pain, just the usual normal ole lyme symptoms.
the one thing in my life i am good at....LOL
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
This may sound strange... it sure did to me.... but...
For years I wouldn't mention to the chiropractor I was depressed. I figured that was something they didn't deal with. None of the meds worked for me and the side effects were nasty.
One day I was so bad and mentioned to my chiro as I was leaving that I'd feel good if it wasn't for this stinking depression.
He told me to get back on the table and did one simple adjustment and HOLY COW! What an amazing difference.
IMMEDIATE relief!!!
I would never have believed it, but when ever I get depressed it works.
Don't know if it would work for you, but the chiro told me he has people who come in monthly JUST for depression... to keep them tuned up.
Worth a try? And most chiro's take insurance. BUT,,, don't be like me. You HAVE to tell them about it so they can address it.
i am fighting this too. and last feb i was the worst i had been in many yrs
recently i have started using more coq10 for energy. i used to use it for heart. but now i realize when i stop it i slow way down. thinking and moving. it helps a lot of things. you might want to look into it
Posted by farraday (Member # 21494) on :
I wrote a story about the dark hole you describe. My son read it and said that I was writing my way out of it. Good analysis.
I think that the chiro that Tin Cup describes is on to something. I seem to get the same reaction after my physical therapy (IMT). Cranial sacral massage is really helpful for depression.
One thing I do is I take heavy sleeping meds. I fought it for years, my LLMD and psychiatrist both insisted I take them, so I do. And it makes a big difference.
I also think the little things help. Take a walk. Wash your hair. Bake bread. Try new makeup. Write to me! Do things that are a change and that you enjoy. Get out of that hole!!!!
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
I like that idea of seeing a chiro. I know just like any profession...there are some that I would go to and others to avoid.
I feel like my brain is inflamed all the time. Every once and awhile it lightens up.
Most of the time now, it helps me to get in the power chair and go around the block...but I do need to limit that too.
once a day if I am doing well enough.
I have been trying to bake some chicken and rice. It would not cook. It took me 3 tries and a talk with the maintenance man to finally figure out the oven is just not heating up enough.
He just told me to turn the oven up more. So, now I know what the issue is I will need to talk with him again.
I hate it that the brain is in such a fog or ? that trouble shooting what is wrong takes much longer than "normal".
I was just thinking I need to try and have maybe a fun Friday.
Try and do something once a week that lifts my spirits a bit.
The problem is that health is not reliable enough yet to decide on Friday I will do such and such and actually be able to do it.
I would like to be able to color. I'd like to be able to read.
Movies help to lift my spirits. I am thankful for that.
Posted by katiebobatie (Member # 28753) on :
i completely relate!
i constantly find myself saying that i'm stuck in a hole i didn't dig.
everyone thinks that since i'm on IV anti-biotics, i will magically be better in a year.
i've been treating for 2 years though, and like you, the progress i make doesn't last.
i start to feel better for a few weeks, and then i fall back into that hole you're talking about.
just know you are not alone. i am sorry you are going through this Posted by katiebobatie (Member # 28753) on :
kam, do you have cable or satellite?
kam,
my husband and i try to live very cheap, but we finally caved and got direct tv.
it has been life changing for me, because like you said, it's hard to do anything fun, no matter how badly you want to!
since all i usually can do is lay in bed, i NEED good television to distract myself from all the pain.
i was SO depressed before we got satellite. it was awful...
i know we are in serious debt from all my medical bills, but direct tv is my one splurge, and i would lose my mind without it!
it's just too hard to do anything but lay down. reading a book is impossible, and sitting up to do art is too hard.
television is all i have right now, and it's worth the extra $40 a month.
Posted by Liz D (Member # 16739) on :
Sadly I am in the hole too. No treatment and no money. depressed
Posted by Jacqi (Member # 6619) on :
a deep dark hole, that just seems to be getting deeper and darker day by day...
![[Frown]](frown.gif)