Im tired of waking up like a stranger to me and my life. I haven't thought like me in two years, except for a few times. I'm tired of crying and faking life when I feel like I'm dead. 2nd day of Iv zithro. Hormones crazy, I'm just so wrong and tired. When does this end? I miss my life, All life. On OCD Med and sntidepressant, I have some physical, but mostly mind. Where is reprieve?
[ 04-05-2012, 07:26 PM: Message edited by: lyme in Putnam ]
Posted by canaanbites (Member # 32852) on :
I'm so sorry that you are going through this, after such a long time. What a horrible disease this is! It can take over your entire life and render you feeling helpless and hopeless.
I have talked with you over the past few years (via this forum) although I had a different name on here for a while...but I don't know how you are treating your illness. There seem to be soooo many factors in figuring out the whole puzzle. Are you treating yeast? Do you have mold? Do you have a great LLMD? I know these are questions we see all the time, but since I am your neighbor (sort of), I am curious as to who you see and how you are treating.
I pray for peaceful days ahead and renewed strength for you. CB
Posted by pme (Member # 31621) on :
Hang in there and k ow you are not alone. I wish I had something more inspiring to say. Just hang in..
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Thanks, feel better.
Posted by Bitten in Bergen (Member # 34067) on :
Here, here - I know what you're going through. Wish I could crawl into a hole and not come out (like today).
Easier for me to say to you than to listen to myself say it, but hang in there and never give up.
If I had given up on trying to get diagnosed, I would never have been able to even start treatment.
Yes - the treatment is sometimes far worse than the disease - at least while I was undiagnosed, I was marginally functional - not good, but functional.
Now that I'm in treatment, I have some great days, but also some awful days where I can't work (and I am the sole provider for my family), can't care for my children or my sick spouse.
If your LLMD/nurse, can handle it, I'd also suggest giving them a call and seeing what kind of support they can offer.
I put in a call to mine this morning - I think sometimes they lose perspective that lyme treatment is not only about prescribing meds, but also managing the side effects.
Oh well, hang in there and know that we are all sending our healing thoughts your way.
Posted by angelp (Member # 36878) on :
I agree with Bitten in Bergen....it took me so long to get the correct diagnosis, 20 years, afterr being diagnosed with horrible diseases, being scared too death.
So when the final diagnosis came in and finally someone put it all together...all the symptoms..I was elated...that is until I did research and found out it would not be so easy to erradicate.
Yes the treatments are not fun and I do agree that sometimes I feel maybe it might be better to live with it than go through this horrible healing....but in the end I want to try to get back to the things I loved to do..biking, swimming and walking, oh what a good long walk would feel like and my dog would know I'm better.
Being able to make a sentence make sense..even though its correct in my head...feeling like I can go shopping or make dinner without the thought of collapsing. These are a few of the things I want to accomplish and so much more.
When everything feels like its falling apart, just remember that its just that day...only deal with that day and pray the next will be better. Try to keep positive...it's hard to do..but the mind is strong to get you through.
I always think to myself that it could be much worst...I will get through this and there are unfortunately people who are so sick and never get better, so I pray for them.
It's hard, but don't give up...look to the future for brighter days..they will come ...have faith...but don't ever give up, life is to precious
Posted by aperture (Member # 34822) on :
Lots of us here on Lymenet completely understand, Lyme in Putnam.
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