Well, I finally got a Dr's appointment for next Wednesday.
In the meantime I find myself becoming more and more reclusive, except for occasional family get togethers and the work place.
I'm scaring myself a bit.
I've been feeling bad since slowly changing my diet and losing a lot of weight although I eat protein, good fats with every meal,etc..
I think I've gotten worse as well just by finding out that I've had Lyme all these years and didn't know it.
I'm also not looking forward to Abx.
Sometimes I think at this point after years of being sick why even bother with treatment.
I mentioned in another post that I was concerned people were shying away from me when they find out I have LD.
Well, it looks like it's more of me who is withdrawing from people.
We had a couple of offers from old friends wanting to meet.
Somehow, I'm just not into it.
I'm not into being social when not feeling good and I don't want to go through the whole sob story.
I guess the healthy thing to do would be to do the opposite and get around some folks.
Just venting.
Posted by nonna05 (Member # 33557) on :
You're allowed...This is a lonely illness.
So many have no idea what you are fighting, how it can make you feel so rotten or weird in so many ways.
Some times you are just tired and weak and making the effort to do a lot when you feel that way can rebound on you a bit.
Like when I was able to do more , I would try and maybe push it a bit and end up in bed for days.
I don't think your at that point from what I remember reading..
Another thing , remember NO STEROIDS. I went from being able to take some meds and get around for awhile .......to mostly being in house/bed....
It is gas on flame.... Also , sorry but no drinking and smoking. It really makes a difference.
I didn't have that to deal with , but you sound pretty young ,so I just thought I'd mention that.
You'll go to the doctor and get some medicine and then have a ton of question's for the medical site......
Yes ,stay connected as best you can , just don't push to hard..I totally fried and it's a much harder battle to wellness.
Take care. Hope you appt. goes well. Nonna
Posted by fred0 (Member # 37371) on :
Thanks Nonna:)
Posted by philly78 (Member # 31069) on :
Oh Fred...I know what you're going through. Been there. Plenty of times. As someone said to me the other day...this is such a mental disease.
I isolated myself when I first found out I was sick. I didn't realize that is what I was doing at the time but I was. I always had an excuse for not wanting to be bothered with other people.
This illness is depressing and when you look at what we deal with is that any surprise?
We're here for you fred. This will eventually pass.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Just because you may not be around others, that does not necessarily mean that's a bad thing.
We may need to quiet ourselves in order to heal. I sure do.
The key is keeping the ties that work for you, to the degree necessary for emotional health and intellectual stimulation. But, that may have to take a back seat to what your body needs to get better.
For many with lyme, the stimulation of socializing is just too much of a real physical burden. It can be dangerous to push.
Really. The adrenal system, the heart, the nervous systems all have to focus on other things besides your social life right now.
Explore new avenues for emotional, intellectual & spiritual fulfillment, too. You may find some new interests on a different plane of physical output.
Then you'll likely be able to really participate for the more active things that are most important to you, even if that just means being able to hold a conversation once a week with a top-tier friend. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Hope the doctor you plan to see on Wed. is ILADS educated and thoroughly lyme and TBD literate
with some years of experience and professional camaraderie with other LLMDs so as to provide a broad scope for his options for your treatment. -
Posted by fred0 (Member # 37371) on :
Thanks everyone.
@Keebler-Thanks. I've only met once so far with my Dr. and I'm pretty confident that he's ILADS educated and definitely TBD literate.
He gave me litrature to read at home after my visit and he seems really up on chronic LD and other co-infections.
In fact he asked for immediate testing for co-infections and other possible problems according to my symptoms.
I say pretty to very confident because he mentioned the ILADS conference (I didn't see him there on Friday though).
The literature he gave me showed that he works a lot with the people in Ausburg, Germany (ILAD members) as well.
Thanks much for all the help!
Posted by angelp (Member # 36878) on :
Hi Fredo,
I was the same way when I found out just 8 months ago...I was angry it wasn't found years ago...at least 15 years. Then I realized it was because none of the doctors I saw were ever lyme literate and being so long ago, they didn't even think of lyme. They just came up with what it looked like it could be.
I think what we go through is almost like a grieving process...I knew something was wrong with me for so many years, then finally find the cause for everything, now have to find the cure which is daunting in itself and almost depressing when you look at a list off all your symptoms.
I find myself doing a bit of reflecting upon how things were, how much pain I've gone through and what lies ahead. Read and be informed, but don't dwell upon what others have gone through. We are all different and will react to things differently when treated. I try to read and comfort those that need it and hope when my time comes for encouragment it will be returned.
I have been staying away from alot of people, but have realized that I need to do that to keep the stress away as I react heavily to stress. I love to just sit and just take time for me, which I used to feel guilty for doing. I don't fret about coonstantly cleaning or cooking .... I have taken care of everybody, now it may be my turn to accept the help and be grateful for it.
Its funny in a way, but because I need to rest at times or I will overload and be done for days, that I am enjoying life instead of just living it. Sitting and watching the birds in the yard, instead of cleaning the yarrd is quite calming and peaceful.
So I look at this terrible, debilitating at times, crazy, weird disease, as a part of my life that I don't want to have, but do have, so I will make the best of a real rotten situation and try to help others that I meet with it and give help as best I can. At least that is something good I can do and it always feels good to help others.
Just yesterday at the hairdressers I meet a woman who has lyme and she was happy to hear of this site and the few books I told her to read, so I guess I was able to return some encouragement that has been given to me. We are definitely not alone.
I hope that you start to get the help you deserve to begin the road to recovery and improvement of health. When times get overwhelming, just remember that its that moment and. It will pass and bring a new day with hopefully better results.
Stay strong and don't give up...God Bless
Posted by fred0 (Member # 37371) on :
Thanks Angelp:)
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
I agree with Keebler. We need our time. You can't heal with everyone around you. I have found over the years that the majority of my dear family and friends are really just sucking the energy our of me.
Anyone that would take your help when needed but offer nothing to you in return when you are in need.....might just be the type of humans that leech from you anyway. Those type don't help you, they are harmful.
Learn to enjoy your time and those that add joy to your life.