hello friends. if you have a moment could you send some good vibes my way? It just feels like a never ending battle.
Just found out my 14 month old needs surgery to remove her tonsils, as they are chronically infected to prevent PANDAS.
My son just got IVIG #4 and it has worn me out but he is doing better,
my oldest is having glaring Lyme symptoms and PANDAS too. Just sent her blood off to stonybrook.
I feel horrible. Fever, fatigue pain etc etc. same old crap. I barely have 2 seconds to rest or take my meds as I am medicating 3 kids all day. I am tired I cant function.
My finances are bad as there is a constant crisis and I just cant seem to get out of the hole.
Part of me wants to just say the heck with it all and give up and just give in and crawl into a ball. the rest wants to fight but it weak and not much strength.
Family not to helpful or understanding, quite frankly I want to move somewhere cheaper in the middle of nowhere away from all the toxic people I CANT escape.
I feel stuck in a nightmare. What has my fanmily done to deserve all this? what did I do? What havent I done?
Who did I **** off?
What about all the good I have done in life? All the people I have helped and the thousands of animals? I just dont get it. KARMA WHERE ARE YOU?
I cant even get to my therapist!
Its one thing for me to suffer but not all 3 of my kids ...... Feeling hopeless and angry and alone
Posted by surprise (Member # 34987) on :
I am sooo sorry- sending you good thoughts and prayers-----
Posted by unsure445 (Member # 15962) on :
I am sorry too. This must be overwhelming at times. Sending you positive energy and prayers.
Keep breathing. You are an incredibly strong person to do what you do day after day. Many people wouldn't be able to....
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
This probably might not even put a dent in how you feel, but I used to say I am doing the best I can under the circumstances i have. The serenity prayer was a constant. I'm sorry this s constant with the kids too. Good thoughts.
Posted by Kudzuslipper (Member # 31915) on :
Sending healing, calming, thoughts your way merry girl. I hope tomorrow is better.
Posted by soccermama (Member # 35101) on :
Merrygirl,
Watching your kids suffer must be a drain on your energy. It is hard enough just trying to raise healthy children...more difficult when you are sick...nearly impossible when they are sick.
I am sending healing thoughts your way and prayers to heaven. May the God who loves you send confirmation that He is there.
Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
Merrygirl, Have you considered using LED light therapy for your little one's infected throat?
You can apply the light paddle to the throat and the angle of the jaw, where the infrared rays can penetrate to the tonsils and the lymph nodes.
The light provides energy to the mitochondria in the cells, helping them to work better and make energy so that the cells can heal. It reduces inflammation and speeds healing.
They used LED light therapy to heal mouth sores in children who were getting chemotherapy. It would certainly speed healing of surgical wounds, if and when she does need tonsils removed.
I've used to to heal pimples, sores, inflamed saliva glands, sore throats. Flea bites on my legs heal up much faster if I treat them for a minute with the SOTA LightWorks. When I first got it, I had a sore on my earlobe that had not healed for six months. After LED light therapy, it healed in three days.
I've also used it on our cat, when his paw got injured...several times. The swelling went the same day, and the bite healed quickly.
Someday units like this will be in everyone's first aide kit.
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
merrygirl: my 3 yr old is having his adenoids out and ear tubes replaced in a week too.
You did nothing to deserve any of this. I have noticed that most of the people on this board are some of the nicest, most compassionate people you have ever met.
This is not a matter of Karma biting you in the tail...I know that, because my family did nothing that warranted all of the suffering that we have been going through either.
You are NOT alone in this battle. All of us on here are dealing with similar circumstances.
Just take today one moment at a time. You don't have to get through this month, or this week, or even this whole day right now. You just have to muster up the strength to make it though this one little minute (or even this one little second), then the next one.
You must be a very strong person, dealing with so many sick family members.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Merry Girl...this too shall pass.
I am not sure how things work...but I get an hour of help a week paid by the county due to health issues.
Not sure how to find out about this program in your county or what it takes to qualify.
I know income is a factor.
I heard about it thru word of mouth.
Sounds like you could use the help.
Getting away from toxic people. That helps a lot.
Looking forward to when things are better for you and they will be for you and your children.
wishing you the help that you need and for your spirits and energy to be better than ever.
You are a pearl. I know the sands of your life are wearing you done and have been for quite some time.
Hugs
Posted by dogmom2 (Member # 23822) on :
hugs to you...
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
I think the hardest part of having lyme is seeing our kids suffer, and being sick ourselves while trying to take care of them.
Will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Posted by joalo (Member # 12752) on :
Sending positive energy and good vibes your way. Posted by kidsgotlyme (Member # 23691) on :
Sending positive thoughts your way!!
Posted by Dogsandcats (Member # 28544) on :
I was not sick when my kids were growing up. One was ADHD and that brought trials and tears...
With that said, I don't know how you do it. I think you are a very special person, with humor and lots of love.
Each day you should give yourself a gold star and a big hug from all of us.
Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :
Thanks everyone. I dont feel so depressed today. I think all the "bad" just got to be too much after all that happened this week. I try not to whine, but man, if I could take on all my kids illnesses I would. I am just worn out.
One major problem is that on paper based on income I do not look broke. But none of these programs look at what goes out. last week alone, I paid $420 in copays, $100 in meds not to mention $300 in travel to the specialist for IVIG. Seriously wondering how to get through the next week $ wise.
I appreciate the ideas and support and PM's. I love you all and I know I can always count on you to understand!
LAX mom, best of luck! Are the tonsils coming out too?
xoxoxox
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
merrygirl: I guess the tonsils are ok, because he's only taking out the swollen adenoids.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
Merry is there anything I can do to help?
Posted by AuntyLynn (Member # 35938) on :
Sorry to hear this Merry.
But you are one strong lady to have come this far with three sick youngsters.
Yeah, lack of finances can be a major drag. I can definitely relate. But I keep telling myself that God has better plans for me than this - and when you think you've hit rock bottom, there's only one direction to go from there - which is "up."
Meanwhile, try to get YOUR rest. Find little ways to treat yourself to some modest luxury. A lingering bath - a morning in PJs, whatever gives you a break. I know you deserve it.
Healing wishes for your little one too.
Posted by twicebitten (Member # 5412) on :
So sorry merry! Been there. Both my kids dx with lyme. Luckily for me, one has few sx's and doesn't need tx at this point.
My darkest time was after i had to quit work waiting for disability approval. Right now things are so much better. Give it time and trust yourself to make good decisions. I know it's very overwhelming at times.
You do need to also take care of yourself. My llmd used to remind me each visit. Otherwise who will care for the kids? Make sure you get what you need to. Too often us moms want to skimp on our needs in preference of the children, but, we have to get ours too.
Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :
Thanks everyone, The ENT decided that it was too risky to take out the baby's tonsils. She is just too small, unless she has sleep apnea. Its a relief and a worry all in one. twicebitten, I know I have completelt neglected myself. What I wouldnt give to be able to go get a haircut! If I dont take care of myself, there is no one left to do it (right) and I cant do that either. Still waiting for the oldests blood work from stony brook. I need a nice long NAAAAP. Randi- Thanks for thinking of me, just send your good vibes my way. Lets catch up soon!
I am seriously considering hiring someone to get the bad energy out of this house!
Posted by Healerdealer (Member # 23032) on :
Merrygirl - My teenage son was diagnosed with Lyme, Ehrlichiosis, RMSF, mycoplasma pneumonia, etc.
He had fatigue, depression, could'nt concentrate in school. Had problems processing thoughts, stomach issues, etc. you get the picture.
I went out on a limb and started him on this holistic therapy from Germany - allergie-immun. It took awhile but within 1 1/2 years he was in remission.
He's now in college and doing well. I am also in remission and I feel it's mainly through this futuristic therapy. It is recommended by Dr. K.
Healer
[ 02-01-2013, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: sixgoofykids ]
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
merrry, someone to smudge or clear out the bad energy, might be well worth it. Esp if you have a name of someone that's recommended by others.
You could save some dollars and do it yourself? That way when someone else leaves garbage as they leave your home, you can wisk out the bad stuff with them.
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I know the sands of your life are wearing you done and have been for quite some time.![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
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