It seems to be a vicious cycle: I'll work part-time because that is what I have learned over the years I can handle physically and mentally, then some major stressor occurs that knocks me out of remission.
Each time it seems to be worse and take longer to get back to remission enough (10-12 mos.) where I feel I am reliable, energetic and clear focused enough to make a promise to an employer. Just when I think maybe it is time to go back, I'll have some bad days that show me I am not in remission yet.
I am married but with our current medical costs, old medical bills and health insurance premiums we are really struggling to even stay afloat. Which was never part of our plan. I need to be able to help but right now I just seem to be adding to the problems.
I've been dealing with this for a very long time and I feel very so limited, I have a hard time seeing what kind of work I might find that isn't very stressful mentally/emotionally or physically and doesn't require me to have the same intellectual capabilities I used to. Depression starts to kick in with the meds I take (I am already on anti-depressants), I can't tell if it is situational or chemical anymore.
Hopes and dreams for financial stability seemed to have flown the coup, except i keep trying to cope everyday is exhausting.
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
It is so frustrating.
Have you filed for social security disability?
Since you have been working part-time, the benefits may be low, but at least you would have some steady money coming in.
Posted by EWT1638 (Member # 11315) on :
No, the job I had actually ended, I was not laid off, nor did I leave due to Lyme. It was a private contractor position in that I was an independent. I was starting to have a few issues before it ended- which I didn't recognize due to stress-, afterwards I tried finding a new job a few months later (after helping my mom through breast cancer) since I seemed ok, but it was evident that since my plans were to go on a short term mission trip I needed to wait until I returned.
The stress of the 2 major flights it took to get me to Kenya and 2 back, knocked me completely out of remission. I had no idea that long air flights could do this, but since God literally told me to go I'm glad I didn't know.
Sorry, long story short, I don't qualify.
Posted by EWT1638 (Member # 11315) on :
Clarification: The last job I had did not, others did knock me out of remission. Now I'm on month 10 still pushing for remission.
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
Well, check to see if you have enough credits to qualify for SSDI. If you don't, you can still get SSI.
Something to think about if you don't recover soon.
Just make sure your doctor is documenting everything (symptoms which make it impossible to work) and is willing to support your disability case. Ask for your medical records and see what the doctor is documenting about you.
There is a good website on the internet called "disability secrets" that is very helpful.
Are you seeing a LLMD?
If seeing a LLMD is not an option, you could try the Buhner protocal for help in treating lyme. It is a good natural alternative.
Good luck!
Posted by EWT1638 (Member # 11315) on :
Thank you Rivendell. Yes, I'm seeing an LLMD, she is my first doc's new partner. She is not nearly as thorough or as good as he is, I think he spoiled me for 99% of the doc out there. (To see him though I have to join Privia, $200 month extra, YIKES!)
I know I don't have enough SSI credits yet, I stayed home for 18 years with our kids. Thank for for the websites, I appreciate your help.
Blessings.
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
You only need credits for SSDI. Anyone, even those who have never worked, can get SSI.
Good Luck!
Posted by Ellen101 (Member # 35432) on :
Have you thought about working part time? I know for me it helps to get out of the house every day and do something productive. Sure there are days when I feel awful and wish I could stay home, but I just grab my lemon water, supplements etc and bring them along with me.