My BF last night..."Why are you in bed again...why" After 5 years you'd think he would know....I honestly couldn't answer him....wanted to say Duh!! You idiot...but didn't say a word.
Posted by BoxerMom (Member # 25251) on :
Oh man. We have a thread like this from waaayyyy back. But I think it's stupid things doctors have said to you.
This is how all the people in my life think of me. Like this whole thoroughly debilitating, poverty-inflicting, life-altering, never-ending nonsense ISN'T REALLY HAPPENING.
WHAAAT?!
Because if that was the case I'd be living a full and satisfying life like healthy people get to do!
They ARE idiots. It is impossible to understand this level of illness until you or your still-at-home child experiences it.
Til then, you get to live on your happy cloud, where things like this don't happen and we're all really just fine.
Drives me crazy.
Posted by Judie (Member # 38323) on :
I'm sorry your boyfriend made a very un-understanding comment. It's the last thing you need when you feel like crap.
I've finally concluded that I need to think of family, friends, etc.... as having the mentality of a 5-year old when it comes to my illness.
It's just completely beyond their comprehension.
It's really annoying. I just don't talk to most of them about what's going on anymore, it's too depressing.
My husband announced with excitement to me last week that they're coming out with a Lyme vaccine.
My response, "That's nice honey. There are several different strains of borrelia. It won't cover them all and it'll just make people who don't know they have Lyme ill."
End of discussion. I just shoot info back at this point when I hear stuff like that.
You can say something like, "Borrelia drains my energy and you need to rest a lot to recharge."
He'll look at you funny and won't ask you about resting again.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
quote:Originally posted by Judie:
My husband announced with excitement to me last week that they're coming out with a Lyme vaccine.
My response, "That's nice honey. There are several different strains of borrelia. It won't cover them all and it'll just make people who don't know they have Lyme ill."
- And then they think we are just being negative all the time if we say something like that.
Ya can't win!
Posted by Judie (Member # 38323) on :
"And then they think we are just being negative all the time if we say something like that."
If someone says I need to be more positive, I reply, "Positive thinking doesn't work for me, I prefer realistic thinking."
The other one I like is, "You're entitled to your own beliefs, but not your own facts. Let's move on to something else."
At this point I avoid people who believe positive thinking will fix everything. It doesn't (tried it for 2 years at the beginning of being ill and it just made me ignore obvious signs that my body was deteriorating).
I think Dave Chappelle (the comedian) sums it up well if you've ever been accused of needing to change your attitude.
The other thing I like is Bright-Sided by Barbara Ehrenreich.
She proposes "realistic thinking" which I find way more beneficial than positive or negative thinking.
This video sums up her views (it has funny illustrations and talks about being at a low point, then having people pressure you to have a "positive attitude").
The book was prompted by her being diagnosed with breast cancer and what she went through.
[ 09-22-2013, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: Judie ]
Posted by Anthropologista (Member # 35483) on :
Love, love, love, love, love the Barbara Ehrenreich presentation, Judie!
My favorite crazy positive thinking statement: "If you were more optimistic, the placebo effect would work for you." I'm serious--someone actually said that!
Posted by Anthropologista (Member # 35483) on :
Anthropologista, As I was reading through this post I was thinking the same thing.
Thanks for reposting my link, this is the reason I put it up here.
Steve
Posted by Judie (Member # 38323) on :
"My favorite crazy positive thinking statement: 'If you were more optimistic, the placebo effect would work for you.' I'm serious--someone actually said that!"
Good Lord! I believe that's the most offensive thing I've heard in a long time towards someone who's sick.
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
Yep.
When I try to explain this illness to people, they act like Homer Simpsom (Hmmm, I'm bored. I think I'll dream about CHOOOCOLATE...)
But those same people have all kinds of negative judgements to make.
It is easy to judge, when you don't understand.
And it is sooo easy not to listen.
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
He said... "Why are you in bed again...why"
I'd say... "Well, you caught me. I was waiting for my other boyfriend, the NICE one, to show up, but I guess as luck would have it, you got here first. Darn!"
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