I can't stop being negative. How do you reprogram, help its important.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Do you have anything around you to take your focus off of your thoughts? Children to watch, pets, sports, movies? Anything that can break into your depressed mind?
I sure feel for you, LIP!
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
LIP,
Sending you a pm.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- I used to teach hypnosis / visualization for well-being and to breathe free (as in - shhh- stopping smoking - I never smoked but taught the workshops - but that very term brings up the image -
- so trade for the image that might be holding you back for what you WANT, whether it's to Breathe FREE, FRESH AIR, etc. or whatever, or how to feel.
The main "rule" was to use only either positive or neutral terms / images.
Now, when I first learned, I really was learning for myself as I thought I could think myself well (all doctors told me it was all in my head, after all). Well, I tried that and failed because no matter how happy our thoughts, reality plays a part, too.
However, once I learned that even words like pain (and other symptoms) did not have to pace a negative punch, I could accept them as mere fact.
Even feelings that might be seen as negative don't have to be, really. They are what they are, part of life. To accept that I will have rough parts and some turbulent times freed me in many ways.
Knowing that I actually had lyme and various other TBD, etc. really did help to validate, however.
And the skills I learned in hypnosis were still very valuable once I learned how to be a human about it and not command myself to be happy or positive.
Influence from a Buddhist friend helped me, and I'm not talking about religion but how some of that culture / philosophy are able to just flow with it all, not attributing good or bad to things the way we tend to do these days. Life's all a river to navigate. A wave that knocks us over, just knocks us over. Not good. Not bad. Just is.
And being able to experience "good" even if "bad" is around. Like seeing the beauty where ever you can find it. Experiencing some goodness whenever you can.
Often, it's all mixed up together. In our media driven minds, we are so programmed to think in terms of acquiring this object or that state of being and then we'd be all set and happy.
But how to retrain or REFRAME?
First: The practical.
LIVER SUPPORT -- because a stressed liver can cause the brain to be stressed in some very dark ways.
Infections can, too. But too harsh of a treatment can clobber the brain as well.
Diet, too, matters. Without proper nutrients, depression will happen. That's science.
FISH OIL is number one to give the brain a chance to be freer in lighter thoughts.
You might see of there is happens to be a LL counselor or therapist in your area who could help with this. Some have hypnosis training as part of their education. I would not, not, not go to a anyone trained in hypnosis UNLESS they also had a degree in counseling AND they were also LL.
But they don't need formal training in hypnosis. The kinds of positive images and desires are also part of learning visualization . . . reframing . . . and it's all part of any counselor's training.
one key thing is to accept yourself, all your thoughts, all your feelings as being valid. Beyond that, you can open the window and let in new light and fresh air.
It's not reprogramming but refocusing. Reframing. Looking at all your options and letting yourself be drawn to light & possibility.
I "grew up" on Operettas and Musicals. All those "Cockeyed Optimist" songs were not lost on me. Reality then hit VERY hard . . . still, I've adopted a moderate approach. If it's possible for something to work out well, I'll go with that.
It takes some training. Make it a game. Each time you see the glass as half empty, just stop and reframe that. -
Posted by hiker53 (Member # 6046) on :
I memorize a few scripture verses and tape some to my bathroom mirror.
Hiker53
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
I have stopped fighting with my body and started being grateful for the messages it's giving me.
I used to say "my body just won't cooperate!". As I lie in bed during a flare stressing myself about "What's wrong with me? ", "How did this happen? "," I need to do x, y, z but my body won't cooperate! ".
Now, I am trying to be thankful for the messages my body is sending me to rest. While lying there, I'll listen to a meditation or watch a movie.
I have noticed a big difference. My flares and crashes are more healing and less stressful. I don't see my body as the enemy but a teammate.
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
What are you focusing on all day? Pay attention to that.
Sometimes I just go over to youtube or soulpancake and watch videos that make my spirit smile.
What do you enjoy? Fresh Flowers? A massage? Find a way to put that in your life more regularly. Make it a priority.
My husband buys me fresh flowers from the grocery every week for about $2 on clearance... they still last about a week and cheer me up every time I see them.
P. S. I'm as negative as they come... with good reason... a lifetime of trauma... but like Keebler said, reframing is key.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- and . . . CHOCOLATE !
Really, there are healthful ways we can work that into our lives. It's not called the "love chemical" for nothing!
My current favorite: Equal Exchange PANAMA EXTRA DARK 80%. Organic and gluten-free.
Or just get some good quality cocoa powder, mix with hazelnut oil (or other nut oil), a tiny bit of stevia.
It's good for the brain, and the heart. And, I think, the soul. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Even if all the beauty might not be IN my life as I would have previously expected it to have been (Thank You, very much!) . . .
I have come to a place where I am glad to witness love and happiness . . . or even just relationships of others. Good to know it's in the world. And I'm glad that there are artists who can capture that with texture, dimension, depth.
February 2014 - scroll through to see all kinds of love -- and at each stop, there are more links within -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- If you like to sing, just sing. Sing by yourself, sing with friends, sing with animals. Play silly. I'd say we've gained the right to play silly after all this. -
Posted by beaches (Member # 38251) on :
I really don't know. I think everyone gave good advice.
I think sometimes a change of scenery can do wonders. Is there a way for you to get out of the house and get to a mall to just window shop? Or even look for a some Spring clothes?
If you're crafty, can you get to a craft store and get supplies to make a wreath or decorations for Valentine's Day/St. Pat's Day/Spring/Easter?
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Good ideas, beaches. I stay as busy as I can. In times of depression I have always tried to DO SOMETHING.
I hope something here will help you, Lyme in Putnam!!
Posted by beaches (Member # 38251) on :
It's really hard to get motivated when you're feeling negative or depressed. Sometimes you just have to let the day pass without feeling guilty and be kind to yourself by saying "tomorrow is a new day." And you might have to do that for days in a row.
Eventually you'll get sick of saying that to yourself and will be able to move on to something enjoyable or on to a task that needs doing.
I've learned to accept that there will be times when, for whatever reason, I just cannot do "fill in the blank." And I've trained my family to understand that. Afterall, I've been "filling in the blank" pretty consistently for a very long time. No one is a machine. And even machines get worn down after awhile.
It's hard to be positive when dealing with this illness. So if you're negative for a bit, try to ride it out if you can. If you feel that it won't let up, ask your doc about a med...possibly an anti-depressant. Just don't beat yourself up.
Posted by surprise (Member # 34987) on :
Make yourself hand write out a gratitude list every day, maybe twice a day.
Even if it's as simple as: Dinner with my family around the table. TV show entertainment. Color of blue in the sky behind the clouds while getting mail. Seeing flowers on trees today. Warm blankets. Comfortable bed.
That helps. I try to catch my mind and look around for things to be grateful about right now. Writing it down.
Posted by beaches (Member # 38251) on :
UP
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
I seem to do better just telling myself "I'm depressed" "I'm anxious", etc. and then saying to myself "and that's okay."
Self-acceptance seems to help so much and the thoughts calm down.
But much of the time, its my body, and if I can find things to get it working better - like dealing with inflammation - then the thoughts improve.
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Sometimes when I'm feeling down, I say to myself, "Right now - what are 5 things I'm grateful for?" And I count them. That usually stops my immediate negative train of thought. Sometimes I increase it to: 5 more. 3 more. 2 more. Point is to change focus.
Next - I like the suggestions that the posters above have made.
I think it's important to try to reframe the negative statement so we can get it to the point of being nonjudgmental, just, this is what is, without a judgment. I know, that's hard in our society which is so judgmental, but to learn how to witness without judging can be more relaxing.
Also to realize that something we don't want in our lives can bring us to deeper realizations, more empathy with others who are struggling, and some new opportunities.
One aspect of opportunity is to ask What can I learn from this situation. Maybe you have more to explore, as in health treatments, people to see? I don't know. Whatever feels right to you.
Posted by Annie C (Member # 14) on :
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That is what will happen after reading all the dedication of Our Moderators.
And those that return here day after day. I wish I could keep and use all of them daily.
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