But, I also have noticed I see people differently since lyme and company.
Like my mom who came to see me when I was sick.
I was laying on the couch watching TV as that is all I could do. I had just moved into a new place and had not been able to unpack.
Her help was kind of funny if it wasn't so sad.
Mom: why haven't you hung your pictures?
Me: because I have been too sick
Mom well, can I have them?
MOm: If you are going to just lay around watching tV why don't you get out of our sight and go lay in your bed (no TV in bedroom)
Me: I do not recall what I responded to that one but do recall they left for a few hours.
It is sad when family is like this but they were always like this and I just didn't see it before.
Same with other people with lyme and without lyme.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
I have learned to look out for my health a bi tbetter than I did before i got sick. I still have times when It ry and be normal when people are around and pay for it and kind of resent them for it.
So still learning.
Teh biggest issue now is being around people. They need to talk. I can only take in a word here and there.
And I do pay for it later.
But, I do get angry when they choose to use their words in a belittering, judgemental or attacking me kind of way.
I have just learned to stay away from them. It is difficult enough living with a chronic illness.
Posted by catwoman13 (Member # 45472) on :
My favorite is "You look great today!" My response is usually "If only I felt as good as I look" (or sometimes a bit nastier, depending on my mood.)
Actually, that's a lot better than what Kam's mom said to her. A lyme friend and I were tallying all the friends and family we'd lost since getting sick. The list was long.
Posted by momindeep (Member # 7618) on :
I know I look at doctors and the mainstream medical "club" way differently now...I gave up trying years ago to explain lyme to ANYONE.
I feel sorry for you Kam...mom's are supposed to have your back no matter what...when parents, of all people, lack basic compassion...it must be devastating.
Posted by MannaMe (Member # 33330) on :
My hubby will sometimes say "If I looked the way I feel, I'd scare you!" When he gets the "you look good" comment.
Posted by BoxerMom (Member # 25251) on :
MannaMe, your husband is brilliant!
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
Yes...i like that manna...tell him we said so!
Oh kam...i know. The interaction with ppl is so hard. Sometimes i can do a project....paperwork or cleaning or organizing at my own speed...slow and steady...for 30,40, even 50 min....
But i could never talk to ppl or really even one person. You never know what they will say and how to figure out how to answer
As time goes on i see my self kind of getting paralyzed when someone says something or asks a question. Esp when they say something nasty
Im so looking forward to seeing all my kids the beginning of april...but i am also terrified
When i see other ppl i often think...well they have lyme and dont know it and dont wnt to know it...and probably will never know
Posted by MannaMe (Member # 33330) on :
I told him what you said - he laughed - then sighed.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
your comments put a smile on m y face and gave me peace...for now Posted by LisaK (Member # 41384) on :
kam, yes, I see people as they really are now too.
I have a large extended family and the true colors really come out when someone is sick, plus it gives the sick person a hightened awareness of what's around them.
it's like if everyone at a party starts drinking and you don't. you notice how they start to slur, or become unstable.... it's kind of like that for me. I pick up way more now on their hurtful sarcasm, or their total blindness to others' feelings, etc.
sometimes I catch myself thinking I'd like for THEM to get really sick so they know how it is! but, of course I don't want them sick.
I just wish they would give a darn and educate themselves. people should try and wear other people's shoes. it is tough, but not as tough as the real person wearing them!
I find comfort in knowing that there are others like me- on here, and somewhere out there.
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Kam, you're very good at imagining places to go to, right?
Here's an idea for you: to imagine your ideal family, what they would be like, how they would talk to you, how you would converse with them, etc. You can either go with your first impulses or wait to see what comes up for you as ideal.
It's to give you an emotional break inside - you'll probably find it a relief to be with your imaginary family when you choose to. Your original family sounds rude beyond belief.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Robin...good idea...i had a taste of a kind family with a lady who started helping me where i use to live.
To this day I am in awe of them. I slept at their house before the drive here.
It felt like heaven to me. The stars were so bright when we went outside to leave before dawn.
The husband had made breakfast for us.
All were treated with kindness and respect. They live on a ranch that their parents had built.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
I was invited back once I was well enough. They said they would drive me around the ranch so I could take a tour.
I would love to do that. But, I do not even know if they are still alive at this point or how they are doing. I know they are getting up there in years and have out lived the norm.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Another thing I have noticed is I need to feel safe when around a person...more so than when I was well.
Some people I am around I have noticed I have the need to take care of them which drains me...nothing to do with them as a person
There are just a lot of people living at the complex I live in who are old or disabled who need help.
If someone drives me to a doctor's office, I have high anxiety until I know them a bit better.
Some I am fine with and have a feeling of saftey if something were to go wrong.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
I have never understood why being sick is so offensive to people, esp. family.
It does make us look at people differently because we know we can't trust anyone.
Sad.
Posted by MannaMe (Member # 33330) on :
I can't figure out why some people would rather say we have a mental problem than accept that we have Lyme and co's.
Especially people who should know us. I find we tend to simply avoid them as much as possible because you cannot explain anything to them that they hear.
"having ears, but hear not and having eyes that see not" or however that verse goes.
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