do you ever feel just so lost and lonely... that you can hardly breathe?
i know its just the loss of my health i know its just the loss of my job i know its just the loss of my cat bob i know its just the loss of so many unfulfilled dreams
i know its just the damn medication...
but tonight... i just can't breathe
Posted by micul (Member # 6314) on :
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Here's a heartfelt hug to you. I hope this is "official" but don't know how to figure out those kind of things just for a quick listen.
"O-o-h Child" is a 1970 single recorded by Chicago soul family group the Five Stairsteps and released on the Buddah label . . . . . . . Vincent wrote the song for his son, Chuck.
The Five Stairsteps' debut collaboration with Vincent was originally formatted with the group's rendition of "Dear Prudence" as the A-side with Vincent's original composition "O-o-h Child" as B-side.
However, "O-o-h Child" broke out in the key markets of Philadelphia and Detroit to rise as high as #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the summer of 1970.
The track's R&B chart impact was more muted with a #14 peak, although "O-o-h Child" is now regarded as a "soft soul" classic. Billboard ranked the record as the No. 21 song of 1970.[1]. . . .
Ooh-oo child Things'll get brighter . . . . -
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
Melanie, im sorry.
I disagree with your using the word "just"
It doesnt fit with any of your losses
I can honestly say i lost all those things except the cat was a dog
I went thru some serious depression and some how came out on the other side able to let go of what i had lost
And able to try to find new things to take their place and make life worth living the way i am now
I hope you can too...it was easier when i figured that out
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
OH Melanie.. My heart breaks for you for all of the reasons you listed.
Losing Bob was the topping that crashed the cake. I know you must have a big big hole in that beautiful heart of yours.
Hang in there.
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
thanks so much...
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Hi Melanie - so sorry to read this - I usually think of you as being busy in CO with your work! No?
If you can, I suggest that you lie down and do what singers do - put a hand on your belly and let your stomach lift it and lower it. If you want to sing a tone too, on your out breath, that's ok! Do it real slow, and at least 10 times. If you like doing it, then 10 more times, etc.
If you need to grieve, you need to grieve. There's a time and place for that. And then, I like to remind myself of the blessings that I had, for example, from having had the pet, or the work, or whatever.
And then, to clear my mind and just be, for now, no pressure, nothing you have to do. It's good to just relax.
Sometimes next plans come to me when I'm in that relaxed state.
Just speaking for myself when I'm in a bum place.
Also, can you connect with any CO Lyme support groups at all?
Posted by poppy (Member # 5355) on :
I know just how you feel, been feeling that way myself more than ever lately. Maybe having company in this helps a little?
Posted by FlaLymieB (Member # 45502) on :
Relatively new to the Lyme world...but can relate completely... No one believes me,I'm pretty sure my 4 yr old daughter has Gestational Lyme..She's been hospitalized twice for severe asthma attacks. The last one took three days in the PICU at Nemours before breaking. I've been sick for over three years roughly. Even my Husband doesn't believe me...Even though I'm certain Bb Bart and Babs are the source of his slew of ailments. It's an uphill battle but one I'm willing to fight. Thanks to this page as I've spent many a nights researching until 4 am.
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
I used to have a friend that e-mailed me once in a blue moon.
I lost this friend cause of zero contact.
I knew this friend was in trouble so I was reaching out to....
Thought they must have fallen off the edge of the earth.
oh wait,,,,,,,,,here she is!!!!!"HI MELANIE"
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
I'm sorry, Melanie, that you are going through all of that.
That is a lot of loss to cope with.
When I needed pulled out of the pit, I surrounded myself with inspirational books, music, tv shows, anything that lifts you up and gives you hope.
It works. I am praying for you Melanie.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- I've been singing "O-o-h Child" all day, thinking of you. I hope you are finding some comforts, somehow & also know that someday, you'll walk in the sun again. -
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
thanks so much to each of you...
i guess i'm just going through the grieving process but am stuck in sadness mode
(well... and a little feeling sorry for myself mode too)
and i hate that!
maybe i'm also stuck in anger mode...
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Hey, there is no need to try to push away perfectly legitimate emotions. Sadness, loss, grieving . . . even anger . . . it's all part of the deal.
Good to recognize those, play a little tennis with them all, so to speak but don't keep score and just walk off the court when you need to, letting them disappear in the mist.
It's unrealistic to think we can walk around and not run into all sorts (of emotions). What they tell us is that we did have some valuable times that are still to cherished even if relegated to memory - they are part of our very being forever.
In our loss, we do not find replacements yet we can still find a spark for . . . . -
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Posted by healthywealthywise (Member # 8595) on :
Melanie? I understand.....truly and completely. You are NOT ALONE.
{{{{hugs}}}}}
I'd never do it b/c I'm not a violent person, but sometimes I wish I could smash glasses, plates, any breakable I can get my hands on to get the frustration out!
Wouldn't that FEEL GOOD? I tried it with a tennis ball at a wall, but it didn't really do the trick. I need smashing and crashing to let, not only the sadness out, but the rage at what is happening to us ......you particularly right now.
Imagine it. SMASH A DOZEN GLASSES TO SHATTER THEM AT A WALL....... no damage done, someone else cleans it up!! I sometimes try to visualize it and it seems to help me feel better.
You might have a different fantasy for relief. Let us know what yours' might be! :-)
Posted by beaches (Member # 38251) on :
Melanie, sometimes we just have to give in to the grief, cry and take to the bed for a day or two or more.
You are a rockstar here. And even rockstars need a break. Take some time off from all the research you do. I know you do much on behalf of your sister.
But take a break and do something just for you, aside from all this. "All this" will always be here.
Posted by catwoman13 (Member # 45472) on :
Instead of smashing breakables, I take empty plastic gallon milk jugs and throw them as hard as I can. Scares the cats, but makes loud satisfying noise. And sometimes ends up cracking the jug.
Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :
Hi Melanie Fine to let it out,vent awhile. We all need that.
Bad thing about pets they don't last our lifetime.
I still have Peaches the iguana she is 12 years old at least. Just a lizard but i will miss her when she goes on to the giant rain forest beyond.
Hang in there!!!
MADDOG
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< Melanie >>>>>,
Hugs and prayers for you,it's so difficult to lose our fur babies, I know how you feel, it seems a lot of us are dealing w/ various kinds of losses right now.
Cry if you need to,and laugh when you can too. Laughter can be good medicine,If I can't laugh at something now and again i get way depressed.
Jus' Silverwolfi here
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
Again... so many thoughts of such gratitude to each of you. Your words, melodies and wishes of love and sympathy have helped so much during this sad time.
I realize that all of us are going through our own struggles with life in general topped by dealing with various stages of disease.
It is so unfair, but I've always tried to keep a positive attitude. Somehow, even that has dissipated.
I suppose I naively thought that Bob's passing would be easier to deal with than it has been.
Those of you that have known me for awhile also know that he has been such a huge part of my life for 17 years. He was my constant companion and my joy.
It just feels so lonely now without him and I cycle through so many mixed emotions... even though I knew it was coming... it still has hit me harder than I expected.
Thank you again for taking the time to reach out to me. Your efforts mean more than I can possibly express.
Posted by Looking (Member # 13600) on :
Sorry you've lost such an important part of your healing.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Melanie .. If you feel up to it sometime, post a pic so everyone can see what a beautiful kitty he was. So handsome.
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Pets are very special - sometimes I feel they're practically human, coming alongside us - I've had a couple pet cats in my life - my sister had one that played host at her parties - wouldn't leave the room until the last guest had left!
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
Miss Toots, I don't know how to add an image unless it is already being hosted on another website. Is there a way to just upload something from my computer?
Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :
Hey Mel!!!
You could allways come to Tincups naked beach party!!!!
Boy am I a trouble maker,TC is going to kick my hinie over this one!!!!!
MADDOG
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
hey melaniegot an idea. let's trade places for while ok?
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Melanie.. You'd have to use something like photobucket .. There may be easier ways I don't know about.
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
Bob (1998-2015)
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
You DID it!! Now everyone can see that most beautiful BOB!!!
Posted by micul (Member # 6314) on :
Well they say that time heals all wounds of the heart. I think it's true, even tho you will always miss him.
Did he like to be called Just Bob, or maybe Billy Bob, how bout Joe Bob?
My sister had a cat for about as long as you did. It went through some real hard times with her. She got Lupus though after she had him for a year or so. I believe that it was really Lyme related, and the cat (Buddy) was how she contracted it.
The cat was in such bad shape at the end that my other sister had to go visit her to put it down, because she just couldn't do it, even tho she knew that it was suffering.
If I didn't know anything about Lyme Disease, I would consider getting a pet again. I don't think that I would get a cat tho, because you can't stop them from jumping up on the kitchen counter, and other places that you don't want them on.
Why don't they have wiener cats with little short legs that can't jump? Funny that it is possible with dogs, but not cats??
Hmmmm......maybe they do?
Posted by dbpei (Member # 33574) on :
Hi Melanie, What a beautiful kitty Bob was! He looks very proud and distinguised . So sorry it had to be his time. I hope you will take comfort in knowing you gave him a loving home and wonderful life.
I have 2 kitties left and I dread the day I lose either of them. That is the hard thing about being a pet owner. You feel so empty when they have to leave this earth.
You need to grieve right now. That is okay and is actually very healing for you to have a good cry and also it's okay if you are angry and need to punch a pillow.
Sending hugs your way. Posted by Ann-Ohio (Member # 44364) on :
Hi Melanie, I am just so grateful to be part of this group! Aren't they the best?
My main thought was that Bob would love you to go rescue some little (or old) cat and give her/him your love and gratitude for Bob and all the pets that are a great comfort for Lyme patients and their advocates.
When you are ready…. Hugs, Ann
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Bob was known for always showing up in his tuxedo .. even in casual settings.
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Bob was the best behaved cat you ever met. Never ever jumped up on anything he wasnt supposed to.
They are teachable I guess.
He looked a little bigger last I saw of him,,but pics can be deceiving
Bob and I go back a few years, I liked him too!!
Everything humanly possible was used to keep him here longer,,,he was WELL loved!!!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I'm so jealous that you got to meet him. I have only been admiring him on Facebook all these years. Such a sweetie and well loved for sure.
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
Yes, Ann...
I am most grateful to be a part of this community, even though I haven't been active for awhile. I always know still that I can come 'back home' to get the answers, love and support that I need.
My most sincere gratitude to each of you who have taken the time and energy to reply here. Every post has offered to me the validation that I so craved, but better still, the opportunity to cry, laugh, reminisce and ...heal.
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
Posted by aklnwlf (Member # 5960) on :
Hi Melanie! I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Bob. In the pic you posted, I swear, he looks like he's smiling.
I lost my black lab, Rocky this past August and still miss him.
Your Bob probably went through your treatment for Lyme right along with you, like Rocky did for me.
I never knew angels could have 4 legs did you?
I'm so grateful to have had such a wonderful pet and he'll stay in my heart and thoughts forever.
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
. So sorry it had to be his time. I hope you will take comfort in knowing you gave him a loving home and wonderful life. 