Lyme disease is so isolating. I haven't worked for 5 years, too weak. my son recently graduated from high school and a group of his friends mothers started going out once a month. I had to ask to be included.
I never felt a part of the group because I am shy by nature but I enjoyed being there just the same. One of the mothers made an insulting comment about my son and I wrote that it hurt my feelings on FB in a private message. Now I'm not invited to any of their get togethers. Hurts my feelings terribly and I have apologized for saying something on FB.
I know I'm lucky to be alive since I was diagnosed with ALS 5 years ago and am doing well. I tried being normal but it isn't working out and I'm so depressed. Any suggestions?
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
fb is soooo dangerous. that's why I'm not on it.
you did nothing wrong. she did. commenting on somebody's children is wrong.
let it go. lyme makes things tough. personally i stay away from people.
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Like randi said, you did nothing wrong. You did the right thing, always protect your kids.
Don't be depressed, it only makes things worst.
You really don't want to be with people like that, you sound like a much nicer person - than them.
Smile, Steve
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
That saying is so true...its good to remember it
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
Even when I was healthy I'd never seen a group of women, not even in CHURCH, get together and be nice. OH MY GOSH! Caddy, snitty, demanding, bossy, back-stabbing... you name it and it was awful!
My point- you seem too nice to be one of them. And to say stuff about your child- a tiger I'd be for sure.
Since you are shy anyway, why not plan an outing for yourself to do something YOU like to do. Do you collect things- like dolls, tea pitchers, truck engines, weather vanes, etc? Do you like movies, boat rides, fishing, arboretums, butterfly gardens, cooking?
Your local libraries may offer programs like yoga, creative writing and computer classes. And just for you...
I pulled up a list of libraries in CT and since I don't know where each is located or where you are in relationship, I picked one out of the blue to give you an idea of some of the programs they offer.
Just glanced through some others and I see slide programs, parrots in the library, talks about bluebirds, concerts, the history of Coney Island, The Dakota Indians, art shows, photography.
Wow- looky here- a health program and look who is doing it.
"David L. Katz, MD, internationally recognized authority on nutrition, weight control and the prevention of chronic diseases, will deliver a presentation entitled The Road to Health.
Here is the main list so you can find a library in your area.
By going to your choice of some of these programs- nearly all free, if not all- you can still meet people, go when you are well enough to go with out committing in advance, learn something new, and not get over involved to where it stresses you.
Sure hope that helps! And that you cheer up real soon. If not, you're a big baboon.
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
If you had to ask to be included, and one of the mothers made a mean comment about your son, it doesn't sound like a very nice group, to me.
I think it's best to see people in person, rather than communicate in writing. That way, there can be a back-and-forth conversation about the issue.
You may be a nice person, but sometimes it takes the other kind of personality - ie the protective personality - to deal with people.
You always have the right to face someone in person and let them know that you are uncomfortable about something, that you would like to discuss it, and work it out, and ask if now is a good time to do that or when would be a better time.
Then you have to be prepared to be strong, because so many people do not understand others and make fast judgments that are inappropriate.
I think it's always best to make "I" statements rather than "you" statements, which come across as blaming and then people usually escalate. When we say "I," it's just us saying what our personal experience is, which is accurate - it is our personal experience of the situation.
Two "I's" can learn alot from one another if they're open to it. If they're not open, then I don't think it's a good venue for us.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
Sounds like a bunch of 'mean girls' to me. You are better off without them.
Is there a lyme support group in your area?
[ 04-14-2015, 10:50 AM: Message edited by: linky123 ]
Posted by Rumigirl (Member # 15091) on :
Whoa, you were diagnosed with ALS, and now you're doing well??!! That is soooo fabulous!
You deserve everything wonderful!! Not this kind of you know what. Anyone who doesn't see that isn't worth your time. WE see that!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)