LymeNet Flash: women's revenge!! ya gotta read....

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Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :

WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked..

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

pour it onto your most intimate part, rip the hair out by the roots,

and still be afraid of a spider.

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton)

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WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day....30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and said, 'What?
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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :

[lol]

Good ones!!

Posted by kidsgotlyme (Member # 23691) on :

The last one is my favorite!

Posted by joalo (Member # 12752) on :

She took the remote!!! [lol]

Why didn't I think of that? [Big Grin]

Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :

I think my husband would divorce me if I took "his" remote!! [lol]

Posted by Misfit (Member # 26270) on :

Thank you for making me laugh! I needed it today especially...

Posted by BoxerMom (Member # 25251) on :

OK, I can add one:

When it comes to cleaning, the only thing my husband contributes is vacuuming. I guess I should be grateful he does some form of cleaning.

But...he'll get halfway through a room, get distracted, and abandon the vacuum, leaving it plugged in, right in the middle of the floor. It's a canister with hose, so it takes up a lot of space.

I'll step over it for days, but I refuse to finish the ONE JOB that he does.

When I'm finally sick of tripping over the vacuum and want him to just put it away, I place it on his side of the bed.

Always ends up in the closet...