-------------------- "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"--Carl Sagan Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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posted
My daughter and her family took me to the circus for my birthday. Believe me that was the best gift ever!
We were standing in the line to get in and it seemed like forever. Big crowds of people milling around, lots of noise and my grandkids were running around.
We got to the turnstyle my wonderful symptom kicked in I handed the woman my ticket, she scaned it then when she went to hand my ticket back I took her scanner!!!
It's like having 2 brains at that moment, one saying "Take that" and the other saying "OMG what did you just do??? " I was so embarrased and had no way to explain why I did that.
Here's another one:
While working at the Humane Society one day, I had to be in early to man the phones. We had a 24 hour emergency line and responded to animals hit by cars or hurt etc.
I was the manager at that time so on this particular morning I had just finished with an employee meeting.
Everyone was still standing around the desk and the phone rings, I answer........."Humane Society emergency lay, may I help you?"
Everyone standing around fell to the floor with laughter and it was then that I realized what I said.
That threw me into a fit of giggles and what made it worse was the person on the phone was very angry with all the laughing he heard.
Apparently it didn't register to him either what I had said. I mustered up all I could to take his report of a dog hit by a car.......what great PR we had that day!
keep laughing, proudmom
[ 17. August 2008, 08:35 AM: Message edited by: proudmom ]
Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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posted
I don't think my daughter will mind if I put hers here being that this one was my fault.
It was the middle of the night and I was sound asleep.
I woke up to my bed shaking like an earthquake was happening.
Scared I shook my husband awake and told him to check down stairs.... thinking if it wasnt an earthquake then maybe something crashed into the house or somehting in the house fell that shook the house.
So, angry, my husband humored me and went to search the house. He returned and told me nothing was wrong....
Come to find out the next morning my mother had gotten up to use the bathroom and dropped the toilet lid. which made a loud noise.
for what ever reason my brain took that noise and told my body there was an earthquake.
I never knew a toilet lid could shake my bed like that!
Proud
Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
proud,
thanks for sharing and starting this post; hope you get lots of stories!
i'm a former secretary, and one day someone called for a co-worker but he was on his phone.
the man wanted specific info that our boss had, so since my work phone did NOT have a HOLD button,
i told him, i'm going to lay you down on the table and get your answer!
this guy literally thought "i was going to lay him" right there on that table!
my co-worker cautioned me not to use that expression any more!
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I had a similar one, mine only involved pajama bottoms. When I went into the 7/11 to get coffee I saw my reflection in the window. At least I was able to go back home and change.
Keep smiling,
proudmom
[ 17. August 2008, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: proudmom ]
Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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Dawnee
Unregistered
posted
I had washed clothes and sent my teen daughter to get the clothes out of the dryer.
She came out of the laundry room and just stared at me while I was cooking dinner. She had her hand behind her back and asked "Mom... are you okay?"
I said "yeah, why?" and that is when she held up a box of Fabric Softner. A whole box, unopened. Instead of opening it, for whatever lyme brained reason I had just thrown the whole thing in the dryer with the clothes.
This was right before I was DX with Lyme and Co Dawnee
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Dawnee
Unregistered
posted
I had gone to the ER not long after diagnosis with my left leg numb and burning and feeling very heavy and weighted down.
The doctor and an assistant came in and of course she wanted to check my reflexes.
I hate having my reflexes checked, gives me that "roller coaster" feeling in the stomach.
My leg went flying up, hyperreflexia as usual, and my monkey toes grabbed hold of her stethascope! There I was, hanging on with my toes! It took a few seconds of me telling my brain to tell my toes to "LET GO!" too.
About a year ago my husband and I went to a wedding. It was across town so we car pooled with some friends of ours.
In the car on the way home I was feeling very brain fogged from all the people and noise at the wedding. I then suddenly let out a huge burp! I had completely "forgotten" that there were other people in car.
I was so embarrassed! I would have never burped in front of other people like that. Thankfully they didn't seem to care too much.
tickled1
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14257
posted
I put the cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the cabinet. Obviously the milk spoiled.
Also one night I was dreaming and grabbed my husband's nose in my sleep. He said "what the heck are you doing?"...and I got mad at him b/c grabbing his nose made perfect sense in my dream although I don't know why!
...and yet another one. I forgot our dog outside so many times that she ended up in doggy jail. I've forgotten her at least half a dozen times. She goes out off leash and always comes back when she's done but if you don't let her in she will wander after awhile. Poor dog.
I put my underwear on inside out a few times too!
Posts: 2541 | From Northeast | Registered: Jan 2008
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-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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lymeloco
Unregistered
posted
I remember one day at work my eye was bothering me and a friend and co-worker looked at my eye and told me I had two contact's in one eye. No wonder everything looked weird!
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posted
I went and got a whole head of highlights, at a cheap salon. I said "just do whatever you want" and came out looking like the Bride of Frankenstein.
So I went to an expensive salon to have them fix it. I said "I trust you. Just do what you think will look good." They dyed it deep magenta, not cute like some peoples' current "pinky-red" haircolor styles, just weird (I'm a natural auburn).
I've taken to wearing headbands and hats.
Posts: 636 | From Saratoga County, NY | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
i wasn't laughing about this when it happened...but we do laugh about it now
i was having a day where my eyesight was blurry, i was very dizzy as usual, the ringing in my ears made it difficult to hear anything
but laundry needed getting done
so....i had the washing machine going and i needed to wash a garment by hand in the small sink...i had the sink filling and forgot all about it b/c first i couldn't see it and second i could not hear it running
so i left to have a rest
5 hours later when hubby came home (on a bright sunny day) he asked "why is the sump pump running?"
oh yes, the basement was flooded
my mishaps lately have been minor....like this morning when i wanted to test the pool for chlorine level and instead of the test kit i grabbed the lighter (in the same cabinet and sitting next to the test kit so at least i had the correct cabinet)
-------------------- This is NOT medical advice - and should NOT be used to replace your MD's advice. Info is only the opinion of those who publish the site.
The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.
cb Posts: 669 | From somewherebetweentherocks | Registered: Mar 2008
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LisaS
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10581
posted
Which of us has Lyme brain, my mother or myself?
My mom is in the hosp. again!!! First I need to describe her a little. She is very much the personality type that doesn't want to be a "bother" to anyone. Not even the hospital.
She didn't tell anyone that she had called 911 that morning.
When finally getting ahold of her at the hosp. she mentioned that she hasn't had any of her meds since that morning and the only thing to drink in her room was the juice on her tray from supper.
This was at 7pm that night and she was admitted in the morning. Of course I was very exasperated at her attitude and here's what followed.
Me..."Mom".....
Mom... "what?"
Me... "There's a button at your bed, right?"
Mom... "Ahhh, oh yes there is!"
Me..."Okay, now take that button and push it"
Mom..."Reeeeallly????" after a moment of silence she kind of mummbled and sounded a little lost.
Me......"Mom, are you ok?"
Mom...She started to giggle and very embarrased says "I was actually trying to figure out where the water comes out after I push the button"
Naturally that sent us all into hysterics.
proudmom
[ 04. August 2008, 08:39 AM: Message edited by: proudmom ]
Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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tell your mom I'm so sorry that she was in the hospital but thank her for the chuckle...
mtree
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
I always make a list of things I'm planning to do for the day, and try to get as many done as possible. That's all fine, but I often forget to do what you're supposed to do after you've done that errand. Like, I'll pick up developed photos, and then forget to look at them. Just didn't write that instructon down on the list...
[ 10. August 2008, 05:49 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
When I was my sickest, I took to using the telephone to check on the kids downstairs so I didn't have to get out of bed.
I took my cell phone and called our home line. My daughter answered and I said, "Can I talk to Mom?"
Posts: 56 | From Virginia | Registered: Jun 2007
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posted
I'm not too convinced that 2 lyme brains in one house is such a good thing.
This morning we did some house work, I was sweeping the kitchen floor. When I swept out from under the island i dragged a trail of blood.
I totally Freaked! we have 2 cats, one has a history of blood in his urine and the other one just started having problems with her anal glands.
I was crawling around on the floor, in a panic looking for where the cat may have died and trying to think how I was going to break this to my daughter.
Well, I followed the blood and it lead to, guess where?................A friggen roast!!! sitting on top of the island.
My daughter and I were going to cook a roast today, so last night while cooking supper we pulled it out of the freezer.
Something died alright..............tonights supper!!!
proudmom Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Just bringing this up to the top
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Well, this time we bought a fresh roast. No problem right?
My daughter (proudtoserve)put a nice rub of spices on it, put it in the oven in one of our pyrex cassaroles.
Cranked up the heat to brown the roast for about 15min.
When it was time to cover the roast and turn down the heat she took it out and set it on top of the stove, got some warm water and started to pour it onto the roast and.......................BOOM!!!!!
That pyrex dish litteraly exploded,,,,millions of little shards of glass everywhere through out the kitchen.
Should we try for #3 ?????
proudmom Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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LisaS
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10581
posted
KPA, lol, I still do that, and I only have one floor in my house!
Also lately Ive been getting my words mixed up. I work at a gas station now, and when a transaction is done and I mean to say, Have a nice day", for some reason I keep saying, "Have a nice idea." I dont know why, it is soooo embarassing! Where is that coming from! I need to take my own advice.
posted
I was getting milk from the fridge for my cat. I put the carton of milk on the table and poured the milk into the bowl. About 2 minutes later I wondered where my cat had dissappeared to.
It hit me that rather than putting the milk back in the fridge, I put my cat in. I felt horrible. Ridiculous the things you can do under the influence of lyme.
Posts: 7 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2008
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Man Saves Snake's Life After Being Bitten Twice-
A Modified Heimlich Maneuver?
Last week the Willis family walked out on their front porch. A few seconds later a snake suddenly leaped from the center of a large potted plant and came chasing after them.
Barefoot and startled, they jumped out of the snakes way and went back in the house, needless to say, at a rather swift pace.
They called for the man of the house, Jimmy, to come get the snake, but by the time he got there the snake had disappeared under the porch.
Later that day Jimmy saw the snake trying to get in the house through an opening in the sliding glass door.
Knowing that would not be a good thing, he decided to catch the snake so it could be taken away from the house to a more suitable location.
Unlike the typical and usually sluggish black snake, this was a black racer, known to be one of the fastest moving non-venemous snakes in the country.
The snake, not happy with the thought of being handled, struck out and bit Jimmy on the side of his hand when he attempted to pick it up.
Before Jimmy could get a better grip, the snake jerked around to the other side and bit the tip of his finger.
The snake was last seen racing across the yard while Jimmy tended to his multiple snake bites.
Several days later while in his shop, Jimmy heard a strange noise coming from a bucket in the corner.
Upon investigating, he found the same black racer curled up in the bucket, in the process of swallowing a 10 foot long rope.
He realized the snake was in trouble and would choke if left there alone. In an effort to save the snake's life, he attempted to remove the rope which was lodged tightly in the snakes mouth.
After carefully examining and feeling the snakes belly, he realized it had already swallowed a thick section of rope, at least a foot long.
It took Jimmy about ten minutes to slowly remove the rope.
Once the emergency procedure was completed, Jimmy assured his family the snake would be taking a long ride in the truck and would be released in a more suitable place.
The snake's new home would be so far away, he said, that it certainly wouldn't be able to find its way back.
In the meantime, a baby wren had fallen from it's nest and the mother bird was flying around the shop in a panic and making lots of noise.
While Jimmy and his wife were tending to the baby bird, the recovering snake managed to crawl quietly out of the 50 gallon drum it had been placed in temporarily and it slithered away.
For his trouble, Jimmy now has a snake hiding in his shop that chases people down and bites them, a baby bird back in its nest waiting to be the snake's next meal and a family that is not at all happy that the snake and the man that saved its life are both still living there.
posted
Oh WOW, guys. This thread totally made my day. And I was just happy to see some people who actually think Lyme is real. The laughs were a fabulous bonus.
Posts: 9 | From IL | Registered: Oct 2008
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posted
Hey all, just a reminder, got lyme brain malfunction? Tell us about it. We've got some good stuff to add here.
-------------------- "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"--Carl Sagan Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Ok sooooooo.......before my daughter posts this I will. I'm one of those that constantly forgets stuff so I write notes, lose the notes and create multiple note books to keep my notes, and so on.
Yesterday I wrote my shopping list in one of these notebooks and took the kids to the local grocery store to do my last minute shopping along with the thousands of others doing the same.
We got done with the shopping, went home and put it all away, did supper and then left to take little Michael to his Karate class.
While I was watching the class my phone rings. I don't recognize the number but answer anyways.........."Hello?" Caller...."Hi this is (name) from the grocery store. I'm looking for someone who lost Grandmas Brain?"
It took me a minute to figure out that this wasn't a prank call. I had left my notebook at the grocery store. This particular notebook I had entitled "Grandmas Brain" on the cover. Luckly I had written my cell phone number inside.
LOL You should have seen how many people were at the customer service desk just waiting to see who would claim Grandmas Brain.
So, anyone else lose their brains?
-------------------- "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"--Carl Sagan Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Just checking in to see if there are more great funnies we can add to this post.
Keep smiling
-------------------- "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"--Carl Sagan Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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posted
I have one. I worked downtown Cleveland but live in the burbs. I took the bus everyday. Well one day I had to drive. However, I took the bus home. I had to wait for the bus again, it didn't run all the way to my office building, had to walk 3 miles to get my car. By the time I got home, my dog was doing the p p dance. LOL Poor thing.
Posts: 46 | From NE Ohio | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
I was trying on shoes last Saturday at the mall, and I always pull one pant leg up and one down so I can see what a shoe looks like with both a skirt and pants.
It wasn't til I got out of my car at my next stop I realized I had finished shopping with one pant leg up and one down and walked to my car like that.
The WORST part is, after being so embarrassed, about 30 minutes later after stopping to get lunch, I realized I had never fixed my pants the first time I had noticed.
I have two to add- not as good as some of the ones here though!
1) When my brain fog was worse, I really had to make an effort to look "normal" at my office. I went to the kitchen to wash my mug and get my lunch.
After I washed my mug, I put the scrubber in the cupboard where the soap goes, and tried to stick the soap in the holder for the scrubber.
Then, I went back to my desk without a fork. When I went back to get a fork, I threw my lunch out (without realizing). So I had to go back a third time to fish my lunch out of the garbage.
A co-worker was in there the whole time!
2)Two nights ago, I was really tired, and just wanted to go to bed after supper. But I dragged my butt into the shower anyway.
I got out of the shower, put my pajamas on, brushed my hair, and then went back and showered again!
After the second shower, my sister stopped me. She said she was worried if she didn't, I'd just keep showering all night!
Posts: 503 | From Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
Yeah!!! time to bump up for annual additions.
Keep smiling and laughing.
-------------------- "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"--Carl Sagan Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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posted
I was walking down a wide sidewalk along a highly used street near me. I have neurological problems from lyme so i tend to "serpentine" when i walk and i can stop short when my brain forgets how to take the next step...basically i walk like im' drunk.
so i'm making my zig-zaggy way down the sidewalk and suddenly from behind me i hear a man scream "Damn it! Why do you keep trying to cut me off!! Stop it! Let me by!"
I turned and it was a businessman (suit briefcase teh works) who had been walking behind me and had been trying to get past me. snort! (why he thought i was doing it on purprose...???)
my other favorite, from a couple years ago when i could still drive (well, i shouldn't have been)...and i was on a belt way and as i approached my exit i kept seeing big orange signs that said "Swervy Curve"
..i passed several and figured it had something to do with construction on the exit ramp that made it curve more than usual. So i pass the contractors or contruction workers at the end of the exit thinking "that wasn't any curvier t han usual"
....about half a mile later i realized the signs didn't say "Swervy Curve"....they said "Survey Crew"!
Posts: 148 | From Berkshire County, MA | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
LOL!!!! stjohn, that's great. I never heard of visual spoonerisms. I hope your writing this stuff down to publish later someday.
-------------------- "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"--Carl Sagan Posts: 317 | From Kansas and New Jersey | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Upon reading stjohn's swerving posts, I should add my version, which is that I don't like driving over deep potholes, due to having weakened joints from Lyme,
and I may ask the taxi cab driver to avoid them if possible if the car shocks are poor - put the darn holes between the tires, do a little wiggle around them, etc.
So one time, when a driver was doing his fast-reflexes best for me, we suddenly see flashing lights behind us, I think Uh-oh, the driver pulls over, and a policeman comes up to the window and says, "Are you DRUNK or something?"
And I piped up from the back seat and said, "No, I am!"
Both the driver and I broke out into giggles and the policeman didn't know what to make of a backseat drunk, so he let us go, admonishing us against any further road mayhem.
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
, proudmom
![[dizzy]](graemlins/dizzy.gif)
![[loco]](graemlins/loco.gif)
![[tsk]](graemlins/tsk.gif)
" I was so embarrased and had no way to explain why I did that. ![[hi]](graemlins/hi.gif)
![[bonk]](graemlins/bonk.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
mtree
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
really need cheering up.
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