posted
I don't know what to do. All I do is cry. I feel like I will never have a happy day again or have fun again. It seems like I am just getting worse. I don't know how to deal with this because I have two children. We are going through so much right now. I just want to try and be happy but my brain will not even allow this. This has been going on for months. It used to be only when I had pms or during my pd. Now it is everyday. I just don't what to do. I love my children but this is not fair to them. Please help me! Hope
-------------------- HopeandMe Posts: 61 | From Maryland | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
When I am like that I try to go outside , even if I really don't want to and walk for twenty minutes...quickly. There is a GREAT Book, particularly for women that really changed my life called "When your body gets" the blues. It is a walking program that is targeted to get rid of depression. It has worked for many people and found it on PBS. It is wonderful. It took me only two days of their walking twety minutes in the morning(the way they say to do it) to feel a difference.You will really love it and it becomes your own powerful natural tool. I do still get depressed from time to time, but this has really helped. I urge you to get this book. It explains alot about female depression too. Wishing you luck
Posts: 298 | From los angeles | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Thanks Lalyme. I don't feel like I can walk 20 minutes or read at this time but I will give it a try. This Lyme depresssion has gotten a hold on me so bad and all I can seem to do is cry.
Thanks again!! Hope
p.s. I will let you know how it goes!
-------------------- HopeandMe Posts: 61 | From Maryland | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Yes, it happened to me. Not quite like you describe -- I would have episodes. It was a very atypical "depression". I did not feel depressed about being sick, etc. -- I was able to deal with all that through acceptance. But out of the blue, like a visitor from another planet, these feelings would erupt and I was in a panic, thought I would die, or felt overwhelmed and cried off and on.
I took a break from abx and within two days this behavior and these symptoms went away.
So, for me,e they were being caused by the die-off, which was causing subacute encephalitis, in regions of the brain affecting emotions. Just my humble opinion.
I did start prozac and xanax, just to protect me from too much of this. I don't know if they helped.
It takes a lot of mental and emotional work to get through this. Try to identify what exactly (if anything, it might just be biological) is causing stress and try to remove or modify it.
When I had these crying periods, I explained it to my family. I told them this was part of the disease, not to worry about it because in time, this too shall pass.
I am back on a different set of abx and don't have anyhthing like this. Either the spirochetes in the emotional part of the brain have been killed and/or gone away, or it was something about the specific abx for me.
Many people have these depressions and crying jags during flagyl. Mine was caused by ketek.
I also do a loving kindness meditation in which I direct acceptance and compassion toward myself as a catastrophically ill person. Being kind to myself, and seeing that this too shall pass, are attitudes that help me immensely.
-------------------- Jeff Posts: 533 | From CA | Registered: Mar 2006
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Jill E.
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9121
posted
Hopeandme,
You are definitely not alone with this reaction. Prior to Lyme, I had already been through 20 years of various chronic and autoimmune diseases. Yet my friends and doctors said I was the most optimistic person they knew.
With Lyme, all that changed. My friends and family say they've never seen me this way.
I go from feeling reasonably able to cope to going into crying jags - or I close the windows and scream from the burning pain so the neighbors can't hear me.
I think it helps to remember that Lyme and coinfections are a brain infection as well as an infection of the body. So that alone can cause mood changes.
Plus, Lyme can cause major hormonal imbalance - yet another reason for mood swings.
As Jeff mentioned, some medications can trigger this more than others. On top of that is simply the fear and mourning that comes from any chronic illness.
Like Lalyme, I use slow walking to lift my mood. It's also the only exercise I can physically handle right now.
When I'm not well enough to walk, I go to the beach or a park or somewhere to watch people walk by with their dogs. I love animals and that perks me up.
Jeff also mentioned a kindness meditation. Lately I've been in a real physical downturn, so I am doing a gratitude journal (yes, it's hard to be grateful in times like this) to try to focus myself on anything positive. Write down anything that is positive - I focus on my family, my friends and neighbors, the fact that I'm tolerating the latest antibiotic, anything to break the cycle.
And I have found watching Comedy Central TV has given me a good laugh now and then.
Take care, Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
Yes, it has happened to me. It's a very difficult part of this illness.
I experienced a rapidly plunging and scary depression in my 3rd month of treatment. My doctor now has me pulsing the medications, 3 weeks on, 1 week off. Have you talked to your doctor about pulsing?
This helped me greatly! Also helping is Burbur. I take 8 drops/2x/day. Very helpful.
My Dr. also recommended SAM-e. I bought some, but haven't had to use it yet. She told me to keep it on hand.
Take care.
Posts: 873 | From WA | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Thank you all thus far for responding. This is the toughest part of the disease I have been through. I am going to keep saying to myself this to shall pass. For those of you walking do you have fatigue? I have overwhelming fatigue and can't imagine walking but will do so if it will help.
Thanks! Hope
-------------------- HopeandMe Posts: 61 | From Maryland | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Hi Hope, A big hug and for you! The first few months of abx I thought I wanted out. The crying and pain and fatigue were beyond anything I had ever known.
I also have two kids and watching them try to cope was the worst part. My daughter didn't want to come home cause "it was such a depressing place with mom sick and crying all day"
Well, all I can say is I tried to listen to james taylor, watch everybody loves raymond and friends, take epsom baths and stay in my dark room.
I listed to the audio of "the opposite of fate" by amy tan (since she talks about her lyme battle).
I prayed.
I was desperate for almost three straight months. Then, at the end of the third month the hell lifted. I still had my symptoms but I wasn't desperate anymore.
I started to walk around the block once a day, I started to smile again and the best part was I began to hope again.
Now I am beginning my fifth month and I truely feel joy again. My body is begining to heal and my mind is much more stable. I havn't cried in a month.
Just know that this too shall pass and you will be well again.
-------------------- We are spiritual beings on a human journey...
posted
I've been in treatment for only a year but have had lyme for many, many years - probably since I was a kid.
This past year has been the most depressing year -- I was on abx for 6 months and almost couldn't take it. I stopped it and started doing alternative with the Rife machine and steam tent with oxygen/ozone.
Here's the ONLY thing that has helped me. I bought a couple of bottles of the Mangosteen juice by Xango from a friend in my karate class last week. She said it was helping with her depression.
My husband came home and said "My gosh, I have a new wife, you're smiling and not depressed and you have energy."
It only took a a couple of days for the juice to kick in. They say you should take it for 3 months to get the full benefits but it sure helped me quickly. I don't think it does that with everyone though.
I am definitely not a placebo person as I've tried Reliv, Isagenex and others that have done zilch for me.
Its a fruit from Southeast Asia with tons of antioxidants in it. I take it 3 times a day and what a difference. My brain feels like being creative again. Gosh, I just can't get over it. I know some others on here use it with great results also.
Most of the time I would find it hard to walk from point A to point B because of fatigue. I've been out working in my garden and planting flowers -- actually having fun again.
I just thought I'd share that with you. I didn't like the idea that it was Multi-level marketing but I'm willing to try anything.
I spent and am spending over $10,000 at the Fibro and Fatigue Center so if this works, its worth the expense.
I always hear other people talking of things working and finally I found something that does.
I can't wait to see how it does for the pain and inflammation because these strong antioxidants and what they call Xanthones in them are really good for inflammation.
Really sorry you are having such a rough time. Have you spoken to your LLMD psych about changing your meds? When I was on lamictal, I could hardly function. It was brutal.
I am not saying that this is what is giving you problems, but I would really speak to your doctor about side affects from your meds.
You might want to research some of this. I take adderrall now, and it really helps with depression and fatigue.
Sending you lots of light and peace.
Gael
Posts: 121 | From philadelphia | Registered: Feb 2006
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for you! The first few months of abx I thought I wanted out. The crying and pain and fatigue were beyond anything I had ever known.![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
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