randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i know this may sound unusual or maybe it's just because i'm still grieving for my mother, but i would prefer not to be around people. i'm satisfied just being by myself and doing my thing, even if it's just going to wally world or sam's or watching hsn, whatever...
mike's friend just called and his wife is so nice, she wanted me to come with him, spent sunday nite, and go to a tea room, shop, etc.
but i don't want to go. i'd rather be alone lately.
he's got this dinner coming up in august with the guys he used to work with, and i'm dreading it already. i don't want to go. i don't like the wives.
i hate going out in public lately and just want to stay home.
could this be part of lyme? would you call it depression?
i've never been given anti-depressants but know a lot of people who take them. i don't want more pills to take.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
| IP: Logged |
METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
Absolutely. Mood disorder underlying a medical condition is generally the "box" it's put in.
Lyme certainly causes that.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
I feel that way a lot. I think, for me, it's partially Lyme-induced depression. Also when I'm really feeling poorly, it's just too much effort to be out with other people trying to act like I feel good and feel even close to normal.
Posts: 566 | From West Coast | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
Lymeorsomething
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16359
posted
Yeah, plus the overriding fatigue in general just makes you not want to do normal socializing sometimes.
I force myself to exercise and work but socializing is expendable
It's not always mental. Sometimes just the physical burden of engaging people is tough. This is true for me at least.
-------------------- "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong." Posts: 2062 | From CT | Registered: Jul 2008
| IP: Logged |
bettyg
Unregistered
posted
randi, i agree with the above.
ask for a rain check to go NEXT YEAR after you are thru your huge loss of your beloved mom and 1 yr. on lyme treatment.
see if your perspective will change by then...
remind mike that you want HIM TO HAVE A GOOD TIME and not have to come home early due to your not wanting to be social and with folks you do NOT enjoy being around. good luck!
IP: Logged |
cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
hmmm mood disorder is listed on my SSDI approval, guess this is what they meant.
Im like this too. For me its fear of the crash after going out, and also I have just learned to be by myself.
I dont have that need to be around people like i used to when well.
I do concider this a lyme symptom for me though, sometimes it also involves the phone.
Also, maybe for you its that you dont want to have to explain things or have others know you are sick?
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
The phone was a very big one for me. It's improved over time, but I still get ****ed when the phone rings more often than not. I don't answer my calls, I let my answering machine pick up, unless it's either real important, or I'm in the mood (like never) to talk.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
The pain makes me not want to be around anyone. Trips to the grocery store are HELL. Doctor appointments are HELL. The only person I want to be around is my mom. Good ole' moms.
She lives right by me thankfully, and when another strange neuro symptom pops up, it's really nice to have her around to soothe my little fears.
But other than that...I hate to say, sometimes it's even hard dealing with my own kids, the ones who are my EVERYTHING. It was NEVER like this before I got sick. NEVER.
I am just in so much pain. I want to be left alone.
Heck my own brother just got out of the Air Force, been to Iraq twice, he's been living here in Tampa for 2 weeks, and I'm in so much pain, I really can't even talk to him and play board games (he's 23 but we still like to play video games and board games and cut up and laugh!).
I feel like I'm missing out on a lot. But, right now, there's nothing I can do about it.
Like I've said numerous times in the past "I can't wait to have my life back!!!"
My husband and I didn't even do ANYTHING for our 3rd anniversary. We usually go out all day and night and have fun. This year, we just exchanged cards. That was it.
-------------------- "~*~My smile hides my bite~*~." Posts: 506 | From N/A | Registered: Jun 2008
| IP: Logged |
shazdancer
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1436
posted
Hi randibear,
First off, so sorry to hear you are grieving the loss of your mother.
Yes, Lyme can cause people to want to withdraw. Yes, it might be called depression, either from Lyme, your situation, or both. You have been hit with one of the biggest of life's stressors. It becomes hard to deal with other's noise, movement, and emotions, and takes too much energy to be social.
If you are feeling "stuck" in a role that is not you, you may want to consider counseling and/or meds to help you get back to being you again. Not to drug you from your pain, but to get your mind back to where you can cope.
There are Lyme docs who recommend depression meds to improve emotional outlook and sleep, and to reduce inflammation. There is more than one approach, so I hope you can find something that works for you.
Take care, Shaz
Posts: 1558 | From the Berkshires | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mama. It is such a painful loss. You have also lost part of yourself,to this disease. So you have a double whammy.
The best of you is still there. You have strength. It is ok to not want to be around people right now. Just come here, because it reminds you you are not alone. You will get better, with time. Go out when YOU feel like it, and do the things that bring you simple pleasure.
You need to do what is best for your recovery.
Take good care of yourself
Posts: 261 | From Piedmont | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
I want to add, I've rarely heard of Lyme patients improving on psychiatric medication, unless the infection itself was addressed.
I've been on almost every psychiatric medication you can imagine. It's a rolling list, but the best psychiatric medication for Lyme is.........*drum roll*
posted
Theirs nothing wrong with enjoying your own company Randy. Not everybody want's people around them all the time.
If your at peace with yourself, that's all that matters.
Time itself gets rid of grief , tablets won't.
It may not be Lyme related, you may need this time on your own, as you have lost a loved one.
Don't push yourself. The pain of grief will go with time.
Heart felt sympathies to you Randi.
Posts: 153 | From England | Registered: Jun 2008
| IP: Logged |
lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
Oh yes to the original question...Maybe not just Lyme, throw in co-infections..
Paranoia, OCD, depression, psychosis, Suicide attempts, threats of homicide, plus a few others..
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
cactus
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7347
posted
Thanks, Randi, for starting this thread. I've felt the same way, often. It's getting better with treatment, so there's hope!
It is hard for others to understand that just interacting in a social setting expends a lot of energy. It can be exhausting.
I find that I can be very selfish about my energy, and and don't want to do things that will knock me out for days afterward.
Have you looked at the "spoon theory" essay? I think it's on butyoudontlooksick.com...
Also, I have a fear of being out with people and feeling too sick to engage with them (that's happened often, and it's awkward). It is sometimes hard to follow a conversation, and if in a loud place it's impossible.
It's really nice to read that others feel the same way about the phone, too - ouch, the phone makes me cringe some days, and can set off a major headache.
We all have times we need to be alone, and be with our own thoughts. It's okay.
My LLMD told me at the beginning of treatment, "You need to give yourself permission to be sick." ...Randi, you also need to give yourself permission to grieve.
When you are ready, you will know it's time to get out more again. That time will come. For now, trust yourself to know what you need to help your body and heart heal.
-------------------- �Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?� - A.A. Milne Posts: 1987 | From No. VA | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
NanaDubo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14794
posted
Randibear - I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom.
I think one of the best medicines is to do what you want, when you want, whenever possible for your own state of mind, body and soul.
Being in large groups of people can be very difficult for all the reasons already mentioned.
I recently spent some time with a long time acquaintance who sucked so much energy out of me, it took days to recover. I hadn't seen this person for quite awhile and as much as I care about him, it was not worth it.
Even when I felt my best, I always avoided my partners work related social activities. I just don't have anything in common with any of them.
Trying to "mingle" and chit chat....... well you get my drift.
Do what feels good for you.
Posts: 1129 | From Maine | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
ByronSBell 2007
Unregistered
posted
I use to be really talkative and was always a trickster.... ever since getting ill, I am pretty silent.
IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic