posted
I very grateful to everyone who responded, but nevertheless, those who told me to take a vacation are probably right;
if there's one thing I shouldn't be doing on this board, it's asking
loaded, unanswerable questions that are going to promote conflict.
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
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Adamm,
Questions are great. Learning is great.
Sorry if there was some misinterpretation about taking a holiday. It was meant to help you feel better - to let the heaviness roll off your shoulders.
You had expressed sadness over finding so many serious links and headlines that spark fear and doom and asked how others handle that.
From time to time we all feel that burn-out and, sometimes, the only thing that helps is a breath of fresh air.
Just like we take breaks from the daily news when it weighs us down, not even turning on the TV for a day or two - - to go out and watch kids play or the clouds drift by can help lift the weight of sadness.
Just as with watching the news, the headlines, the content here can really be hard to digest. So, shifting attention to let some sun light in - opening a window - see what else is going on out there to put all this in perspective.
This can be graduate level coursework with some of the research - even students get a vacation. For some reason, and I know it's because we LIVE with this, we don't get a vacation.
That is not fair.
So, mini-vacations, a day off, is certainly deserved so that we may have a little joy - even if just appreciation through observation of nature - or whatever delights we can find.
You asked how others deal with the fear found in some of the "headlines" here. Rewarding ourselves with time off - trying to get our minds off our "job" for regular intervals - was just one idea.
One of my favorite quotes that helps me a lot goes something like: In the face of ugliness, beauty reigns.
That is not the direct quote, but I think Ghandi first said it and then Phil Ochs, a folksinger of the '60's. grabbed onto it.
excerpt: " . . . Treat your brain gently, do not overload it with too many tasks . . . "
Ommmmm.
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[ 28. August 2008, 04:25 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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sparkle7
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10397
posted
I guess after being here for almost 48 years, I think we are all here on this planet to try to learn something & be better beings.
I didn't see your post. Sometimes, it feels like things are helpless... they aren't.
I'm not a religious person. Time is relative. We are all going to die some day.
I believe that we reincarnate. I don't know why we are going through this experience with Lyme but I try my best to keep things in perspective.
If you read about people who have had near death experiences - they are mostly positive. It's scary to think that we will die but it's going to happen to all of us.
It's tough dealing with illness. If I had the choice, I would not go through this experience again. We all just have to make the best of it & try as best as we can to get through it.
Don't give in to fear... The mind is powerful. We all have to believe that we can heal ourselves, eventually.
Posts: 7772 | From Northeast, again... | Registered: Oct 2006
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
isn't there a really long positive post on here about peoples good experiences? i can't remember the name of it. but maybe some balance would help
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
lol, I'm sorry, who is the authority of handing out vacation authorizations? When I got my vacation suggestion, I got an outpouring of people who came to me and asked not to leave and to tell certain people certain things, amongst other things. But I didn't and I'm not.
I think people know when they need a break. They don't need the people who have been here longer to make that decision for them.
I don't think I need a break from this board. I NEED A BREAK FROM THE LYME. And I definitely don't need other people telling others' how to feel, when to log off, just because they are newer to the disease.
Sorry, we aren't all lifers. Some of this are still fairly newly diagnosed, although I've only been on here since March-ish, I don't feel like I newbie but I still have lots of questions.
I'm sorry but I just really need to know who's the authority on vacation taking. It hurts people and I have plenty PM's to back that up. There was an outpouring of people.
While I do think that this person/people (no names used) is informative, it can come off as offensive, know it all-ish, and like we are ignorant because we haven't read every book, know every reference, or even had this crap long enough to even figure out what's going on with our bodies.
It causes physical breakdowns which cause emotional break downs and then ppl come on here for support...then get told they need a vacation.
Not conducive to the mental status. Encouraging words are nice. Not vacation invitations. We can't just call up our doctor every time we have a question! That's what some of us thought this board was for but maybe it's not? Maybe it's more of an obsession for some.
I don't know about the other post that Adamm posted but too many ppl are asking me to stand up and ask for this to stop. And it just so happens, I've got guts
I know I'm not one of the people who suggested that you "take a vacation" and I can't speak for what happened in your particular situation because I don't know.
I can speak about the situation discussed in this thread, however, and I know with all my heart that Keebler made the vacation suggestion in a very caring, concerned way.
She was responding to a young man she believed might need a break from "Lymeland" and who might benefit by taking some time to just hang out with friends or watch a great movie or just take some long naps. No hidden message--just wanted him to get a break.
When Keebler made that suggestion to Adam it really struck a cord with me...I realized that I needed a "vacation" too.
Nessa, I'm not sure who the "offensive, know-it-all" person is that you are referring to. But I'm going to take a guess and if I am correct, I have to tell you that you have really missed the boat on your assessment of this wonderful person.
She spends hours and hours, writing and rewriting her posts because she is trying to be so careful to say the right thing and not offend anyone. She is one of the small group of people who are ALWAYS reaching out to the newbies, day and night.
You and I are at about the same point in our treatment...I'm pretty new to this too and have so much to learn. The person I believe you are referring to is an AMAZING resource and even better than that, she sincerely CARES!
Please give some thought to the possibility that you may have misinterpreted this person's intent. It's really hard to decifer someone's tone or intent in an email. It's just not the same as the human voice with all its nuances and inflections.
Sometimes I think all of us lymies at one time or another read a little too much into a completely innocuous comment because we are all a bit sensitive. (I am speaking to you as one "newbie" to another, not as someone who knows any more than you do.)
So, if someone ever tells me to "take a vacation" I know it is out of concern for my well-being.(I would venture to guess it would be the same in your case.)
Anyway, time for me to continue my holiday. I only came back to answer your post.
Take care (and don't take peoples' comments so SERIOUSLY!...you'll drive yourself nuts.), Jeanne
[ 29. August 2008, 01:04 PM: Message edited by: not so sublime lyme ]
Posts: 345 | From East Coast | Registered: Apr 2008
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posted
Well, sorry but I'm speaking on the behalf of everyone who asked me to. Yeah this person has good intentions, no doubt. And I've always appreciated and took this person's advice to heart.
However, in good meaning or not, when ppl reach out with lots of questions (not just me, many ppl get rubbed the wrong way by this) and they are told they just need a break, SOMETIMES that further alienates them from a sick world of Lyme where support is needed just as much as cancer patients.
If people need a break, like I had needed in the past, I took it on my own. Same with others. Being told to take a break to me and some others just doesn't feel good when you have NO ONE ELSE who understands the disease.
In addition to that, I went to ANOTHER neurologist today to see if he could find a another drug that treats spacicity (sp) besides the benzos that I was taking because I've built up such a tolerance. I went to HIM FOR HELP. Big mistake. He says that if my mri showed no lesions, then I don't have neuro lyme. There for no pain relief. Also, he said a spinal tap is 100% accurate in finding Lyme in the CSF.
I told him that was not true, and he basically blew me off and said that I was probably just "depressed".
So, this is why ppl get desperate and like to answers from people who UNDERSTAND this.
-------------------- "~*~My smile hides my bite~*~." Posts: 506 | From N/A | Registered: Jun 2008
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