Topic: Mother's tragic death doesn't derail Coen's career at UMass
Melanie Reber
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Mother's tragic death doesn't derail Coen's career at UMass
September 20, 2008 �
There's a few indicators on the outside, like the inscription in his eye black, the tattoo on his wrist and the finger he points toward the sky when he throws a touchdown pass.
There's no telling what's brewing on the inside, but it's probably a volatile mixture of anger, sadness, pride and determination.
It all stems from an unforgettable family tragedy, one Liam Coen might never fully comprehend. But none of his emotions trump the responsibility he feels as Massachusetts' quarterback, which is why he's never wavered - even when those around him would have understood.
``He doesn't make any excuses,'' said UMass center Sean Calicchio, Coen's roommate. ``No matter what he's doing, he gives 110 percent.''
In January 2006, after becoming UMass' starting quarterback as a 20-year-old redshirt freshman, Coen's mother committed suicide at the family's home in Rhode Island. Beth Coen had long been bedridden with Lyme disease, and as Liam Coen told the Boston Globe later that year, the 46-year-old school teacher was ``severely, severely depressed.''
Her only son responded by earning a 3.4 grade-point average the following semester, and when the next football season rolled around, Liam Coen helped lead the Minutemen to the Division I-AA national-championship game, which they lost to Appalachian State.
He's since become the most accomplished quarterback ever at UMass - a school that produced 15-year NFL quarterback Greg Landry. Among his career records are passing yards (9,108), passing touchdowns (75) and passer efficiency (153.53). Coen also is 31-9 as a starter for UMass, which is coming off back-to-back Colonial Athletic Association championships.
``There were times he struggled with it, but the bottom line is he was able to get through it,'' said UMass head coach Don Brown, who added that Coen has always been a steady influence for the Minutemen. ``He's a tough customer.''
Brown also said football was a ``tremendous outlet'' for Coen as he coped with the loss of his mother, and that he had a strong circle of support from his teammates and coaches as well as the UMass community. Coen, now a senior, said focusing on football helped him keep his mind clear and move forward with his life.
``I didn't really have time to be depressed and upset all the time,'' said Coen, a voracious student of the game whose father, Tim, was his high school coach. ``I had a team I had to lead and be a part of.''
Deep down, though, Beth Coen was always on her son's mind and always in his heart. Liam Coen said there were times he ``definitely felt she was watching over me,'' and if he was playing poorly or the team was struggling, he would think about his mother in search of inspiration or motivation.
Coen had his mother's name tattooed on his left wrist, and he writes ``MOM'' in his eye black before every game. He also gestures to the sky after every TD pass, which serves as both a tribute and a reminder.
Beth Coen helped her son become the man he is today, and even though she's not around anymore, she continues to have an impact.
``It's made me a lot tougher, I think, on and off the field,'' Coen said. ``It's made me be able to deal with things easier, and I think it definitely made me a better person. I can overcome, I think.''
feelfit
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Thank you Melanie,
Awesome story.....not mom's death, but her sons love for her and perseverance.
Feelfit
Posts: 3975 | From usa | Registered: Aug 2007
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AliG
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WOW
Thanks for posting this Melanie.
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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sparkle7
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Call me weird but I do not like the tone of this article...
It's like this should be the norm... just suck it up & take it. Go out & excel despite the death of your loved one to something "hard to catch, easy to cure".
It's very sad but I just don't like the spin.
Posts: 7772 | From Northeast, again... | Registered: Oct 2006
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bettyg
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touching; i wasn't able to read the 1 comment left there...
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AliG
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Actually I have to wonder.....
I've been fighting this because I think my daughter needs me to be here for her.
Does this tell me that she might actually become a stronger, more determined person WITHOUT me?
After all, HIS mother suffered from Lyme & offed herself. He seems to have grown into a "roll model" because of it.
They don't say it had anything to do with watching his mother's senseless suffering and frustration at not being able to be properly treated.
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
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Sparkle said "It's like this should be the norm... just suck it up & take it. Go out & excel despite the death of your loved one to something "hard to catch, easy to cure"."
Perhaps, the article was written to say "This is NOT the norm."? Perhaps the intent was to show how this young man has beaten all odds to succeed in his life? That this tragedy, and I am certain that all would agree it IS a tragedy, has NOT halted his determination...despite his internal sadness and suffering?
AliG said "I've been fighting this because I think my daughter needs me to be here for her. Does this tell me that she might actually become a stronger, more determined person WITHOUT me? After all, HIS mother suffered from Lyme & offed herself. He seems to have grown into a "roll model" because of it."
If given the choice, I would guess that your precious daughter would choose to have you here! Her lessons will be learned by observing how you struggle and deal pro-actively with this journey.
This young man was not given a choice. His lesson now is to deal with the consequences of another's choice. I'm certain he would rather not be a 'roll model' for family members coping with suicide.
I remember very clearly when this occurred. I wondered how the lives of this young man and his father would change. Surely most close to this situation wondered the same thing.
My perspective is that this was most likely written as a feel-good follow-up article. More about helping others reach some sort of closure rather than actually exploring the intricacies of what has to be a very difficult and heart-wrenching situation.
Posts: 7052 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2003
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