just feeling weird and uncomfortable all over, also depressed by all this.
no energy to do anything or to even make food or do laundry, vacum the house, etc...
and all alone, i live alone.
have a few friends that call but i dont even pick up the phone since i dont know what to say, what can i say...
at times i feel like i want to go on anymore but afraid of all this, and the long road ahead of a hopeful recovery is scray.
alot of scary things have read about lyme and all the effects it does on a person and their internals.
i guess not too good.
but it brings tears to my eyes that you ask and just the thought of someone going out of their way to start a post just with a genuine care of knowing to ask really feels warm all over.
thank you dearly for asking and i wish i could do something to help you in some way...
how are you doing ?
best regards, eric
Posts: 570 | From philadelphia, pa | Registered: Dec 2008
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stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
eric they have a quaker retreat in media,pa we used to live 2 miles from there and my wife did pottery next door.
they are a very loving group of people they have modest ceremonies, mainly meditation and are beautiful people.
the place is called pendelhill and everyone is welcome to join their teachings.
i hope i didn't discourage you and will be available to answer any questions you my have. any one here can empathize with what you are going thru, and hopefully dr. s will get you on the right track. say hello to him from me. tell him docdave says hello. hope you find the strength to be strong and fight and not give in.
we all here can help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
docdave
Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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: )))))))))))))
Posts: 570 | From philadelphia, pa | Registered: Dec 2008
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
-
One thing that helped me was when I finally got over feeling cheated. Mostly from the slick images on TV and in movies, we think the life we've been given should look a certain way.
Well, that leaves out a lot.
No matter how ill, we are still intelligent, thoughtful and caring people. Right now, we've be thrown into a graduate-level course to learn what has happened and to figure out how to fix that - and have the patience to let healing happen on top of us doing our part.
It helps me when reading not to take it personally - except in the "what to do about it" category.
And, I've chucked a lot of friends and some family. If they can't get on board, I don't need them. For most, we barely discuss it. But, if anyone abuses me verbally around this, they are simply set outside of my awareness. I have not lost them. I have become free from them.
There will be others who will understand, at least enough to just be able to let this be as it is - in its own time and space.
posted
ahhhhhh keebler good to know you are with me,
and thank you dearly for your great words of wisdom, means alot to me.
eric
Posts: 570 | From philadelphia, pa | Registered: Dec 2008
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Well good darn thing you weren't drowning!! Cause I got off line right after I posted and had you been under water at the time... there you'd have stayed!
Sorry it took me a while to get back to you! But..
I noted several others stopped by to share with you. Aren't these guys the best?
I sure think so.
You said.. "just feeling weird and uncomfortable all over, also depressed by all this."
If you weren't this way I'd have to worry about you! What you are feeling is perfectly normal. NOT nice, I know.. but normal.
Yeah.. it sucks. It also reminds me of how I felt for many many moons. Not sure which scared me worse... the disease and being so sick.. or the IDIOT ducks I had kicking me in the head every time I turned around.
It seemed like one step forward and 25 backward. Yeah, it sucked.
I think I saw someone mention Dr. S? If it is OUR Dr. S in Merryland... good deal! You are certainly in VERY good hands.
That should ease your mind too. I don't know if you realize this... but there were no Dr.S's years ago.. so you are lucky he is available to assist you.
And I don't believe... after all these years (and I've known him since day one).. that I've ever seen a patient NOT get better if they were seeing him.
In his early years when he was learning all about Lyme, etc... he actually got on a plane with a very sick patient and took that patient to see Dr. B in NY.
That impressed me sooooo much. Not many doctors would bother. The patient needed more help than Dr. S could provide at the time.. so he didn't just let them suffer. He went the extra mile.. or about 300 miles... to get trained by the best.. and get the best help available.
You said... "no energy to do anything or to even make food or do laundry, vacum the house, etc..."
I am sorry.. I have to laugh.
Isn't our life SUCKY when all we long for is enough energy just to be able to DO DISHES?
Yeah. It doesn't get more pitiful than that! We are some sorry souls.
But let me tell you this. If you don't get the laundry done today.... not to worry!
It WILL be there for you to get to tomorrow.
You said.. " i live alone."
When I was at my worst.. I didn't live alone. I wish I did.
I was such a miserable little puke that folks had to hate being around me. And I felt like a slime because I wasn't energetic enough to keep up with even the lowliest of snails... and I was too shamed to admit I couldn't do things like I wanted to do.
And all I wanted to do was bury my head under a blanket and make everyone go away!!!
So although it might be troublesome at times.. be sure you know that "having to perform" because someone is there.. well... it sucks sometimes.
And once you feel better.. things will change.
You said.. "have a few friends that call but i dont even pick up the phone since i dont know what to say, what can i say..."
Have you read the post I made recently? It is called the "spoon theory". Please check it out.
And remember.. some days the only outside contact you might have is the phone... so try to use it. Don't completely cut yourself off from others. OK?
You said... "at times i feel like i want to go on anymore but afraid of all this, and the long road ahead of a hopeful recovery is scray."
Scary is right! I don't remember many days when I didn't think I was going to die.
But I learned something. Lyme is too cruel to let you die when you want to. It has us all by the ear and just keeps trying to drag us down in the gutter to wallow.
Not fair.. but that is the way it is.
Knowing you have a good doctor is a BIG step in feeling less scared. So hang in there cause it will get better.
And try not to measure "better" by the hour or day. It takes weeks sometimes or check your progress monthly. Otherwise you are too focused on every pain and every crazy thought you have... and that isn't good for you.
To note- I would get so scared I couldn't watch the tv news without being upset. Or listen to someone else talk about being sick. It would throw me for a loop. So do avoid that stuff.
You said.. "but it brings tears to my eyes that you ask and just the thought of someone going out of their way to start a post just with a genuine care of knowing to ask really feels warm all over."
Never, never, never forget you are NOT alone.. and there are folks here that have walked in your shoes and who understand.
And I must add many of the folks here are nuts (not ME of course) ...
But they are a dear sweet bunch of nuts. I love them all.
You said... "thank you dearly for asking and i wish i could do something to help you in some way..."
You are so kind to say that. Right now I am doing ok. My biggest problem is a grand baby that is due today... and hasn't seen fit to join us yet.
If you can induce labor.. please do! I want to head south and can't till the baby arrives!!!
Take care of you... and know we are here if you need anything.
your Heart is surely bigger than that of ALL people i know today and i know many !!!
And I am seeing DR S. in West Chester PA, unfortunately heard mixed reviews about him.
As far as me help you with the birth of a baby, Gladly but... I guess best I can do is pray for you even though I am Jewish and not sure which God to pray to...
Posts: 570 | From philadelphia, pa | Registered: Dec 2008
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