LisaS
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10581
posted
Hey everyone, I'm not just trying to be funny here. I'd just like some true opinions. I know since I've been sick, and I've been sick for 18 years, that I've 100% lost my sex drive. It ruined my first marriage. Now I just got married again, not even a year. And am going through the same problem again.
My husband is sick also. Never diagnosed with lyme, but joint pains, muscle aches, weak legs, numb arms, headahes, gastro probs, chronic fatigue, and much more. You do the math. My family gets mad cuz I can find lyme in anyone but... you know how it is.
So anyways, I could go the rest of my life without, but he still could do it everyday! Grrrr, why does it effect men and women so different?
Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
My husband has Lyme and it never depressed his labido.
Not like mine. Of course he lives in denial too.
Maybe the labido thing is just part of that denial.
I think if I saw him help out by washing clothes,
Doing dishes, vacuuming, I'd be full of desire.
Now that is sexy.
Maybe it is because as women we go through menopause too.
Men just have the 7 year itch and mid-life crisis events.
Hmmmmmm. That involves a strong labido too.
I wish I had the right answer.
I am not sure why, but I wish at times my drive was higher
Or his was lower.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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feelfit
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12770
posted
Could someone please explain what a "sex drive" is? I vaguely remember *something* about it YEARS ago, many, many, moons ago.
Posts: 3975 | From usa | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
Look, this disease can whack out just about every system in the body, including your hormones. I am sure besides being emotionally and physically drained by having Lyme, that is not helping your situation. However, I wouldn't be surprised if your "drive" is being affected by LD.
If I were you, I would look into some herbs that might be out there to increase libido. It can't hurt! Posts: 103 | From Northern VA | Registered: Apr 2009
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
it's the physical pain that i hate; never used to have that! lost all desire and used to have a healthy libido!
my hubby is so understanding ... a real gem as he has seen it on my face; no masking pain.
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
It depressed it in me too iam a guy though.
-------------------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.
Starfall1969
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 17353
posted
Yeah, that's how I am too.
My sex drive seems to be permanently in park.
My husband gets so down about it too, because he said he waited till he was married to have sex (and he was 40 when we got married), and now we can't even have sex anyway.
Of course, some of that is his fault--he WON'T have full sex, because he doesn't want me getting pregnant again.
I'm not on birth control--other physical reasons that I can't be on it, plus my docs are Catholic, so it's a no-no anyway.
We tried condoms, and he hates them.
My gyno wants me to go through the natural method (can't remember the exact name now), but hubby thinks it's bogus--
all the docs in that practice have 6-8 kids each, so he doesn't think it works.
So yeah, the sex question is soooo a big part of our life right now.
Posts: 1682 | From Dillsburg, PA | Registered: Sep 2008
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springshowers
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19863
posted
Single Woman
My Sex drive is still going strong but too sick to date or have a man. Sad .. what a waste huh.
Posts: 2747 | From Unites States Of America | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
Short answer: Chemically, its easier to disrupt the hormonal balance that leads to women's sex drive. Men, less so. Women in the event they have drive, are more likely to perform, as the same group of factors tend to affect both desire and performance.
Men however, the chemical changes are more likely to affect performance, even if drive is present (ie. obtaining and Maintaining an erection is going to be harder with a hypercoagulative state, which has everything to do with the disease, but nothing to do with sexual hormones) This is not counting the /average/ emotional and mental differences between men and women when it comes to desire and sex (ie. Men, even when they feel crappy are more likely to seek sex as a way to feel better. Women typically don't want to have sex unless they're feeling good). Of course, its all very individual based on your chemical makeup, how your disease is affecting it, and other factors.
Of course, being tired and sick can cause a person to feel less than sexy! I think an important thing in a relationship is to be attentive to the other person's needs in some way, even if you don't feel up to it. Admittedly, its sometimes hard to find people who will understand a person with a chronic illness, but in the event you do, try not to brush off their desires, in sex and in life, as unimportant.
This doesn't mean you have to do something you're not comfortable with, but have honest discussions about your sex life - if you're not up to it, make sure the other person knows its really because of your illness, not that you don't find them attractive or are upset with them. Let them know you understand their desires and are not writing them off. If you're not up for intercourse, try to find other things that bring satisfaction.
As a male, I don't mind saying years ago that there were times when physically I couldn't perform enough (even with Viagra etc.), but I always found a way to take care of my girlfriend when we were amorous.
Posts: 690 | From East coast, USA | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Mine has gone from hyper to non-existent to hyper once again. It seems to flag (no pun intended) only when herxing pretty hard.
Posts: 845 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2006
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jt345
Unregistered
posted
I might as well be a monk. I have not had a sex drive for years. All I can base it on is lyme.
It started with the onset of full blown lyme and has not came back since. Just one more fascet of lyme. appleseed
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