posted
so i tested positive for lyme and my mom tested positive but i seem to be the only one who is adament about getting it treated. my mother seems like she has her head in the clouds, and it sometimes takes years for her to accomplish simple things (yes, seriously).
anyways, i confronted my parents today about the fact that ive been infected for years and i had never gotten a simple apology for the fact that they both hardly took me to doctors when i was a child, even though i had complained of some symptoms that were unexplainable. they pretty much flat out said i was being ungrateful and my father yelled at me saying i was manipulative and couldnt make him feel so small.
so it seems like both are in denial that they could have helped me sooner, and im pretty ****ed because as a minor i could not take myself to get tested. that was their responsibility. and they wont even acknowledge that. anyways i just wanted to see if this could be because they have lyme disease and are mental or if they are just normal bad people.
Posts: 723 | From boston,ma | Registered: Jan 2011
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D Bergy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9984
posted
I don't think anyone can answer that question, but it really is irrelevant at this point. I would assume if your Mother thought that Lyme was a serious problem, she would have sought out treatment for herself, a long time ago. It is not like everyone has a grasp of how serious this disease can be.
What do you plan on doing now that you do know?
Dan
Posts: 2919 | From Minnesota | Registered: Aug 2006
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Do you have any children?
I was diagnosed with Lyme in October of 2006.
My daughter (then 4 years old) was always complaining about some ache or pain.
Definitely a Drama Queen (still to this day).
I was so ill myself.....not an excuse, but I couldn't really absorb what she was saying.
It was when she started mentioning things like a "shakey" feeling and other strange symptoms
That it actually clicked for me. It wouldn't have if I didn't know I had Lyme.
Does this make any sense to you?
I immediately had my son (then 2) and daughter tested for Lyme.
They both were positive. One had subjective symptoms and the other more objective.
However, had I not known about this disease by having it,
They would have gone without testing or treatment.
Both children were successfully treated.
Try to not get bogged down in the anger.
You are going to need all of your energy to get well.
Trust me, I know.
Sending you and your parents prayers of support and peace.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I never knew how serious this disease was, but that didnt stop me from learning about it and then getting tested. I would think that anyone who was mentally well would do that for their children.geneal, you dont have to know about a disease to seek treatment. I had a feeling I had to have something, and I wouldnt stop learning and reading until I found out what. Ive learned doctors are unreliable, and forget a large amount of things they ever learned.you have to be your own advocate in all areas of life.
But i do believe... When you bring another life into this world, a parent should be aware that they will often have to put their children before themselves. I think if they can't accept that responsibility, than they shouldn't have kids.
It all seems common sense, but I know alot of people whos parents dont get this. I think though that when your family is pretty much in denial about a disease youve had, that their is some insanity there. i just cant tell if such insanity could be from lyme, and how I could even get someone like this to believe that it could be.
I have shown my family my spect scans to show that lyme really can affect the brain, but they dont seem to make any connections.they have watched "under our skin".If my parents dont want to listen, I think I should tell my brother that he could have Lyme and that its his decision to get tested or not. I dont see how someone could be in denial of not only someone elses disease, but the chance they could have it too.
Posts: 723 | From boston,ma | Registered: Jan 2011
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
I was trying to offer a possible reason for your parents not searching further.
I do put my children first.
However, Lyme would not have ever entered my mind had I not been diagnosed with it first.
My neighbor, a RN, was diagnosed next, following me sharing information with her.
She had no clue after searching for years for what was wrong with her.
My husband diagnosed next. My children after that.
My neighbor's parents after that.
We'd all had various aches and pains for a long, long time.
It was what I learned that provided the answer for all of us.
I did the dreaded search for an answer.
I finally was referred to a psychiatrist by an MD.
As a last resort, I googled my symptoms.
Lyme or Lupus.
It wasn't Lupus as I had been tested for that.
Next, find a doctor to actually test me for it.
My vet had to recommend someone, because no one in the medical profession would.
I have worked in Acute Care, Subacute care, etc. in hospitals.
I've worked with neurologists, neuropsychologists, etc.
It was an exhaustive path to just find someone to order a Western Blot for me.
I had my Mom tested for Lyme after she lived outside with us for 3 weeks after losing my house to Katrina.
Guess what??? She is positive too.
She has never treated. Never acknowledged her test.
She is, however, now my most ardent supporter.
Not while I was searching for what was wrong with me.
My Mom told me that maybe if I had a more "positive attitude" I would feel better.
Trust me. I do understand what it feels like to not be supported.
Lyme is not a common diagnosis....especially where I live.
Is it possible that your parents act out of concern?
Maybe knowing what a horriffic disease it is after watching the movie,
They are afraid to acknowledge what you have?
I don't know. Parents make mistakes.
I do all the time.
My family (sister is an RN) never even googled Lyme Disease.
They still call it Lymes. Lovely.
However, I had to let go of the anger and feelings of betrayal as I had as I had bigger fish to fry.
I had to get my children, my husband and myself well.
This following Katrina, not having a house, not having a job, etc.
I needed my energy for that. So I let the rest go.
My family just does what they do.
They still love me. I still love them.
They still don't get it.
Give your brother the information. Let him decide.
I hope that you can go on with getting well.
Please understand that I was thinking as a parent.
Not trying to make you defend yourself.
I apologize if I offended you.
That was never my intention.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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