Topic: Is it lyme or did I crack? warning its long.
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Been so long hurting depersonalized convinced me of everything, changing treatments, stress, can
I get me bacK without thinking about it. I don't want to think about coming back, I just
want my mind back to thinking how I used to. Lowering lamictal cause I feel less of myself,
supposed to feel more like myself, but upping it made it worse. Thought psych meds could help.
On luvox for ocd, but OCD says you can't get back, you don't want to get back, but I know the
full life I had that I loved and conviction I had. Late for period, I'm 48 in perimenopause
but feeling worse (numb and more constant locked frame of mind) since upping lamictal.
Joint pain through the roof, legs heavy like lead, don't even know if I'm herxing doing
herbal teas to strengthen immune system, going to functional doc now testing all. She said
white spots brain (12) could mean anything but saw previous results of tests, bells palsy years
ago, working in tick camping grounds... believes I had lyme but doesn't know whats going on now, damage fron lyme, active...CDC positive years
ago,10 year pos for bart at times dormant and negative.. I'm prone to anxiety and ocd
genetically. don't want to see friends do anything, but trying to make sales calls thats
what ive been doing work wise to keep busy. This is so not me what was, I don't want to
think is gone. Integrative doc into supplements, doing nutraval test Mon report to
see deficiencies. You can't change as a person, heart and soul, could this take you? I've been dp'd before, I'm so much to people on the
outside, but on the inside, I'm so foreign to myself, thoughts, values... D/P Dropped down
last Thurs talking to husband on phone and at night for about 2 hours, relaxed sleep, but when
I'm d/p'd all day, eyes burn, sleep and wake shaking confused and d/p stays throughout the
day, but when it comes back, its wicked and more the opposite of how I usually am. Sorry if this
is long, and SO REPITITIOUS but this is so bad, When it drops down, life as usual, son, husband,
plans, family. So sorry for this again, this has been the toughest since 11/09. Lyme causes d/p
but so does anxiety and when you're not in a strong state of mind, you believe
anything.Walking in a store you've been in for years and having tunnel vision walking like
you're something from Stepford Wives. Off IV, did for 9 mos. this time since Sept.End of sept.
It got worse on flagyl, but ended up in hospital for salt problem after rifampin.. I should
delete this, I've said this so many times before. I just want to do the everyday natural
things I did like me, might have complained about the wash, work, but had a sense of self
which I was ok with and grateful for. Seems to have gone. Questioning everything,and pushing
everything, do I want to come back, maybe I'm changing and don't want to be with all that I
loved.I'm so family oriented its nauseating, thats why these thoughts are tormening and
believing.. the mind doesn't stop, then it gets locked. Positive/negative thoughts needed, but
need reassurance, I'm locked and need help.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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Jane2904
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15917
posted
Hi,
Sending a great big hug to you.
I wish I knew something that may help you. Please do not give up. It is the infections doing all the havoc.
In my experience, Bart, is responsible for awful anxiety, detachment etc.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Better days are coming
Hugs
Posts: 1357 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2008
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lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
I live in limbo like everyone else. I hope things clear up for you. This is so sick as you know. Thanks for your words. Feel well.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
dear lyme in Putnam,
Raising it to The Lord, that you become drenched in The Blood of Jesus, rather than depression and gloom, Refresh your mind and soul to out smart this bacteria, and to find the steps towards your own self worth to others and you being needed even if its to hear your voice saying Good morning or Good night to a loved one, You are so much more then this - Your remember the old you, its still there waiting to bloom again, find the trust and the courage to put your old shoes back on against all odds, God and many here care that you stand back up, brush your self off and give this the fight that will not be overcome... wayne
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
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