Topic: Worlds largest Borrelia biofilm community discovered in Atlanta
lymeboy
Unregistered
posted
Today, April 1, 2012 a discovery of epic proportion is reported in the previously unknown journal "Raising Spirochetes for Fun and Profit". It has come to light that the ventilation system at the CDC headquarters has been actively spreading spirochetal particulate for many decades. The source is a multispecies biofilm, the size of a minivan, located deep in the core of the building occupied by the Epidemiological Investigation Service. The environment in this area appears quite unique for its ability to support this specific pathogen. The model of co-evolution has been suggested to explain this complex symbiotic relationship with the EIS. Curiously a yellowing calendar on the wall says 1975, and appears surrounded by the slimy mass.
In a possibly related, and previously unreported event, Otzi the iceman was found to have an EIS membership card in his pocket.
Infallible two tier testing reveals that all those having spent time in this EIS area, along with their long term associates, are themselves infected with the bacteria.
In ways still yet to be understood, those carrying the pathogen directly from this source have been turned into a "zombie type" creature whose only function appears to be to assist the bacteria in conquering the entire planet creature by creature.
The very ability to detect the bacteria in tests, to treat it, or even acknowledge that it can exist outside this enormous EIS globule in Georgia, has been suppressed viciously (down-regulated actually) by the zombies and their small but powerful group of minions.
Most concerning is the rumor that these minions have gained access to key positions in state licensing boards, insurance companies, major universities, government offices worldwide; including the CDC itself, and editorial staff of medical journals, to assure that the bacteria can continue to spread without resistance.
Except for the first �discovery� of this bacteria during the Ford Administration, zombies appear to arrive in all areas ahead of the actual bacteria itself so the bacteria can become well established before the population, or its treating doctors are adequately informed.
Possibly using 'quorum sensing', the bacteria wait until the zombies have declared an area to be free of the bacteria before attacking on a large scale. A large world map on the wall shows checkmarks over every country, and �coming soon� over Antarctica.
Scientists report that any individual or group that attempts to inform the public of this event slowly becomes isolated from mainstream by the Zombie Thought Police (ZTP) unless they themselves form a strong team and work together in large numbers to coordinate a response. This response has yet to reach a tipping point, as most of the groups themselves are struggling with the pathogen load, which appears to disrupt key proteins essential for cooperation.
Anyone with additional information regarding these zombies (and/or their minions) is requested to forward reports as they become available. (Please include your license number and state licensing entity).
Your humble reporter and fully stocked spirochete reservoir; MD Maddox
Editor, review board, & sole writer of Raising Spirochetes for Fun and Profit
~Published annually (April First) from Austin Texas, (paid subscriptions 0)
~Critiques of above article will be read carefully before shredding or deleting
~Authors currently sought for 2013 publication--Zombie and minion sponsored articles go straight to print, no time consuming analysis needed
~Portions of this report may have been written while under the influence of biotoxins
~Any connections to reality are purely coincidental and result from my own private hallucination
~No group hallucinations were used as sources for this article
~No spirochetes were harmed in the making of this report (unfortunately)
~Feel free to forward until midnight, April 1, then delete for best results
See ya next year!!
~(Is April Fools Day just an American concept, or worldwide?)
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- April Fools, oh, yeah. CDC, Atlanta. Pretty quick. Thanks for the chuckles. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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GiGi
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 259
posted
I must have lost my sense of humor, because I can't chuckle on this.
Posts: 9834 | From Washington State | Registered: Oct 2000
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sparkle7
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10397
posted
I do appreciate your humor & the imagination it took to write your article, lymeboy... Sometimes humor can get into areas that are somewhat taboo.
As a diagnostic facility, PIADC scientists study more than 40 foreign animal diseases and several domestic diseases, including hog cholera and African swine fever.[1] PIADC runs about 30,000 diagnostic tests each year. PIADC operates Biosafety Level 3 Agriculture (BSL-3Ag), BSL-3 and BSL-2 laboratory facilities.
The facility's research program includes developing diagnostic tools and biologicals(vaccines) for foot-and-mouth disease and other diseases of livestock.[1]
Plum Island's freezers also contain samples of polio and diseases that can be transferred from animals to humans.[1] In 1991, the center's freezers were threatened following a power outage caused by a hurricane.[1]
Because federal law stipulates that live foot-and-mouth disease virus cannot be studied on the mainland, PIADC is unique in that it is currently the only laboratory in the U.S. equipped with research facilities that permit the study of foot-and-mouth disease.[5]
Foot-and-mouth disease is extremely contagious among cloven-hoofed animals, and people who have come in contact with it can carry it to animals.[4]
Accidental outbreaks of the virus have caused catastrophic livestock and economic losses in many countries throughout the world. Plum Island has experienced outbreaks of its own, including one in 1978 in which the disease was released to animals outside the center, and two incidents in 2004 in which foot-and-mouth disease was released within the center.[4]
Foot-and-mouth disease was eradicated from the U.S. in 1929 (with the exception of the stocks within the Plum Island center)[1] but is currently endemic to many parts of the world.
In response to the two 2004 incidents, New York Senator Hillary Clinton and Congressman Tim Bishop wrote a letter to the Department of Homeland Security regarding their concerns about the center's safety: "We urge you to immediately investigate these alarming breaches at the highest levels, and to keep us apprised of all developments."[4]
Lab 257, a book by Michael C. Carroll, Ph.D., has alleged a connection between Plum Island Animal Disease Center and the outbreaks of three infectious diseases: West Nile virus in 1999, Lyme disease in 1975, and Dutch duck plague in 1967.[6]
Posts: 7772 | From Northeast, again... | Registered: Oct 2006
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AuntyLynn
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 35938
posted
AW SHEESH - You had be there for about four paragraphs! I just got April Punked!
Posts: 1432 | From New Jersey | Registered: Jan 2012
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lymeboy
Unregistered
posted
I didn't write this. I got it from someone that takes Lyme even more serious than I do. I just thought it was funny and that u guys might like it.
I apologize if I offended anyone. That wasn't intended.
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