nefferdun
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Member # 20157
posted
Has anyone else lost their motivation to do the things they used to love? Even though I don't feel that bad, I just don't feel like things matter.
I used to ride horses before I got sick. As the years went gone by. treating and treating, I tried to keep up with it the best I could, but I just don't care any more. My horse is a pleasure to ride, I have trained him further than I even expected but I don't want to go out there and get on him. I don't want to do anything physical.
Part of the reason is anxiety from the PR infections. That comes and goes - sometimes I am really fearful something will happen and other times I am fine. Over the last few years I have become very apathetic. It is like, why bother. It isn't just physical exertion that turns me off because I don't even want to go outside.
I am sick of cooking for instance. I would just as soon eat cardboard with skim milk. Nothing tastes good, even it is. It just doesn't excite me.
Am I just getting old or is this part of the disease?
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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GretaM
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posted
Part of the disease.
Me too, Neff, me too.
Apathy apathy apathy I hate it.
I feel the same way about playing sports, as getting a speeding ticket.
"Meh, who cares"
Budget is a shambles? Late or forgotten birthdays?
"Meh, who cares"
Most days I am too tired and lazy and unmotivated to cook so I don't eat dinner.
I basically just wait for "bedtime" and go to bed.
It is worrisome to me for me to be this apathetic.
Sometimes it's a relief, I don't stress out about unimportant things like I used to BUT I don't stress out about the important things either.
It really sucks feeling this way. I know exactly how you feel.
But, when you get out on your horse, does it bring back the enjoyment emotion? Is it just the preparation? Or is it the activity too?
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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lymeboy
Unregistered
posted
I've lost interest in everything, actually. I used to be OVERLY active and took great pleasure in almost everything I did, even the mundane stuff.
I'm totally different person now. I have no interest in advancing my career, or doing any significant amount of work. I've lost all interest in even being alive. I struggle to find the point. If I didn't have a daughter, I don't know that I'd have stuck it out. I'm in a different phase of treatment right now, and I've had remarkable improvement, but it seems like Lyme has already done its job of ruining my life. I'm definitely numb and depressed. That has only gotten worse. Part of the disease, yes definitely. But I think it's also where in life it has brought me, which is to a really low level of existence and functionality. I wish I could say something to help, but I am about as miserable as it gets, and I would love to go back to being who I was before all of this. Fear of not attaining that is also part of the depression.
posted
All of you are describing depression. Be sure to tell your doctors.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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nefferdun
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posted
I don't have a doctor to tell. That doesn't help matters. The nearest LLMD is 500 miles each way. I went to a doctor yesterday in hopes that she would JUST call Dr. F to find out about my test results. I assured her it wasn't lyme so she wouldn't freak - but she wouldn't do anything for me saying I needed to see another doctor.
I have been brushed off so many times. I have an appointment with an NP and I know she treats lyme so maybe she will call for me. The last MD was getting in trouble for prescribing marajuana and is probably high himself because he never did anything at all. He sat on my test results for weeks before my husband called and went in for copies. All I know is I have UFO's in my blood.
So yes, I am depressed, but I sure am not going to see any doctor here about it ! I don't do well on anti-depresants anyway.
I made dinner tonight and I hope it is edible. For those of you that are not on the PR diet, it is such a challenge finding any recipes you want to make twice. Thanks Giving is coming - last year I tried so hard to make it interesting for my family but honestly, it is hard to be celebrative and festive with no fat or sugar! I guess they can be thankful that they don't have to eat like me.
I am sorry for you young people that have to work or have little children that need your attention. I am in and out of this funk. Treating the infections makes a huge difference. Babesia was the worst but this PR is pretty bad too.
I don't want to say I am glad I am not alone - I am glad other's understand it.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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lymeboy
Unregistered
posted
Yes, severe depression. I'm suspicious of mild PTSD, as the events of the past 3-4 years have been quite traumatic, even excluding Lyme.
I am not sure what a Dr. can do for me, regarding depression. I won't take another pill for it. There is a substance that helps tremendously, but it is not legal where I live. Beyond that, I'm going to need to do a lot of work to climb out of the hole. And if my health falls while climbing out, back to the bottom I go. It's rough.
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
I understand this. So far I have been able to get less depressed by forcing myself to do something physical...even if it as small aswalking around the house or in drive...
There is a scientific reason why movement moves you out of depressiin
Once I'm over the hump I slowly get interested in stuff
I have learned not to pressure myself to do anything hard...it just makes me quit doing anything
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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GretaM
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posted
I don't know if mine is depression.
When I say lost interest, I am not sad or defeated.
I just don't care.
Same with things that used to make me so fuming mad before lyme, now I don't care.
I don't stress about much. Well really anything.
Easy going. I don't lose my temper anymore, don't cry anymore, don't blame myself for not being able to play sports anymore, don't blame myself for poor performance at work or a crappy memory.
It is peaceful in this place of apathy.
Although it would be nice to feel passionate about a hobby, or get road rage once in a while just to feel alive.
And I am sure my friends and family miss my entertaining, but hotheaded Bart-rage personality.
Haha. Kidding. Nobody misses the Bart rages.
(don't get me wrong-daily living is overwhelming at times, but I don't stress about it anymore)
And I agree, lyme is a PTSD illness for sure.
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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posted
I hear you Nefferdun, Greta, Lymeboy. It's difficult to tell the difference between profound exhaustion--which you're all describing--and depression.
What strikes me is how much you all do despite this: working, cooking Thanksgiving Dinner, caring for a horse. These are marathons when you have zero energy. Greta, no-one with Lyme & co is lazy. And then you all help others on Lymenet too. Some of you have helped me.
R and I have a therapist who's smart and supportive. She listens well, is intelligently empathic (even though not LL), helps us set up support systems for ourselves, and helps us ask each other for help when we need it. Our sessions are covered by insurance.
If you can find a therapist you like, that kind of support can be really helpful. Not in any way a substitute for an LLMD, but still valuable. Probably hard to find in Montana. But worth looking?
Nefferdun, can you eat beans? Stevia or erythrotol? Pomegranate? Any grains? Dried fruit? If so, I could give you the recipe for a Turkish dessert you might want to make twice!
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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linky123
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posted
I feel your pain. So hard to push through life when you just don't care.
Sitting in a fir sauna has really helped my moods and I feel better physically as well.
Hope you feel better soon.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
I feel it too. I don't think it's depression with me. It's exhaustion and I have found that if I look forward to doing things and can't on that particular day, it only adds to the exhaustion and disappointment.
I don't think as humans we were built to live in the moment. With this disease we have to. It goes against the grain.
I was a "doer" too, before I got sick. It was like a totally different life, in a totally different body.
I do my best to work with my LLMD and do what they say to keep pushing on. They don't have all the answers. That's about all I can do right now. Good days and bad days. Up and down. This is now my life and I have to concentrate on acceptance.
-------------------- "Yeah, I miss me too." Posts: 234 | From NY originally registered in 2008 | Registered: Nov 2012
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Catgirl
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posted
I completely understand. It's the lengthy struggle, and the inability to comprehend this disease by my friends and family that depresses me. I'm sorry, but unless someone is struggling too, they just don't get it. It's also the food, big time. My diet was depressing enough (thanks to abx) before I discovered proto. Now I feel like I'm being controlled by this bug.
Our diets alone can be depressing. We were all raised to believe that we could eat whatever we wanted. Lyme took that away for most of us. And proto? Forget about it. I was thinking about that yesterday as Thanksgiving is coming up. Food has always been a big part of family get togethers. Now it's on the back burner and down right depressing.
I've noticed while working on parasites that the toxins they excrete make me depressed. It's the herx. The best thing I've found to pull me out of it is lifting light weights. It helps me within 10 minutes (worth it). Parasites alone can make us depressed, especially before the full moon. I felt so depressed yesterday. No energy, no desire to do anything, and tired, so very tired of all of the struggling.
Push through it and fight. Lift some light weights while watching TV. I forced myself to do it last night. We all have things to live for. Neff, you have a beautiful horse. Lymeboy, you have a beautiful daughter. Everyone else, we all have families who wants us there. I refuse to let these stupid bugs win and take my life from me. I plan on seeing all my future grandchildren, even if they are not born yet.
I think it's good to compare how we were before treating as to where we are now. I am so very grateful for all the help I've received from all the lyme specialists that I've seen. I've made progress. It's just that when something else pops up right after I've gotten rid of something bad, I forget about the progress. I think that's why my lyme specialists remind me of the progress every time I see them. They must see the anxiety on my face. I am getting better, even if it's inch by inch.
Hang in there everyone. Keep up the fight. There are so many people in much worse situations than we're in. Try keeping a gratitude journal (it helps). Write something in it every day. Hang in there.
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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Catgirl
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posted
Neff, I'm so sorry about your doctor situation. Hang in there and keep treating for parasites. They are a major part of lyme.
Thanksgiving, I'm making some meat for my hubby, a rice salad, and some veggies. I will pick up some desert for him, but for me, it's a gluten free cookie--then the difulcan (lol). I've shifted my day from revolving around food to watching football now anyway (love it).
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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posted
Yes, I hate that about this disease. I have lost myself. I have lost my interest, creativity, motivation, basically everything that made me who I am.
I don't care about anything. I don't shop. I don't look forward to Christmas. I don't want anything. I am just blah!
While I was getting bicillin injections for about 3-4 weeks, slowly the me (creative, caring, motivated person) was coming back but then my doctor took me off the bicillin inj and now I'm back to where I was.
I am frustrated, unhappy, miserable too. however, in all of this I believe God has a bigger plan.
I think about just imagine how much better I will be as a person when I come through this. I believe we all will come through this. It may not be easy. We may experience setbacks, but we will come through this.
We have put too much time into getting well. Spent too much money with the goal of getting well. No one should be able to take that away from us. We have to see this through.
nefferdun
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Member # 20157
posted
Anthrhopologista - I DO WANT THAT RECIPE!
It is wonderful when other people get it. I do have a therapist. I am on medicare now and haven't had a doctor bill covered but it covers the therapist so I go every other week. She is very empathetic. She validates my reality and helps me move forward.
I have other things going on in my life too. I am so used to a roller coaster ride that if things aren's swinging up and down, I feel life is static.
I do have PTSD. I had a violent family of origin. One of my horses bucked me off 12 years ago cracking my spine and breaking my arm. Ever since then I envision Christopher Reeves whenever one of them does anything - About two months ago my usually reliable buddy spooked at a pigeon sending me flying. I didn't break anything which is a huge plus but it hurt - really hurt - and made me hate pigeons.
When the PR is relapsing my anxiety builds and I don't want to get on him at all. After about a week of ivermectin, I was normal for a few days and not only rode him - I took the saddle and bridle off so my husband could photograph me riding him bareback and bridle less for the "when my life is over and I can't do this any more bucket list of accomplishments". I go back and forth but for the most part, just don't want to.
Catgirl the diet really is the pits, isn't it? I hate to say it and scare people away from trying it, because it is SO effective - but so unfair! I am lucky though that I can eat gluten and skim milk and fruit - so lucky.
Dinner last night was ok. How exciting can lentil loaf be? When I think about it, how exciting is meat loaf? It is actually just a filler upper - not something anyone craves. So the lentils are probably not that much different. I put a heck of a lot of spice in stuff (sometimes too much) so it is at least interesting.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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Catgirl
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posted
quote:Originally posted by nefferdun: ...the diet really is the pits, isn't it? I hate to say it and scare people away from trying it, because it is SO effective - but so unfair! I am lucky though that I can eat gluten and skim milk and fruit - so lucky.
Yes, it sucks. But I am hopeful that this is not a forever type of thing. Someone will figure it out. If I have to do this until that day comes, I'll do it. It's worth it for me to see my pets, family, friends, nature. I am thankful for everyone here who understands, otherwise I'd be alone. Lymenet and the people here on it are the best!
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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I think part of the apathy is from expending so much mental energy trying to find answers that it leaves one with not much left over for other things.
Also is PR like other parasites - Flares with the full moon ? If so I hope you feel better shortly.
I recommend a hot bath. (opinion not medical advice)
-------------------- You won't know how sick I was until you see me when I'm well ! Posts: 123 | From Colorado | Registered: Sep 2012
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nefferdun
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Member # 20157
posted
Thanks Lulu. I forgot about the full moon coming. I think it is contributing to this.
Catgirl, I hope they find a cure too. There HAS to be a way to get rid of this!
I made a wild rice dressing with tart apple, cranberries, celery and spring onion. I put less than a TB of butter in it - maybe 10 grams fat total in the whole thing so I will get about 5 I guess. I haven't had any butter in so long I can't remember what it tastes like.
I think a lot about food. I think it is kind of like being in prison and thinking about freedom.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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Catgirl
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posted
quote:Originally posted by nefferdun: I made a wild rice dressing with tart apple, cranberries, celery and spring onion. I put less than a TB of butter in it - maybe 10 grams fat total in the whole thing so I will get about 5 I guess. I haven't had any butter in so long I can't remember what it tastes like.
Neff, this sounds delicious! I am going to make this for Thanksgiving. Thanks! :)
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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quote:Originally posted by nefferdun: I think a lot about food. I think it is kind of like being in prison and thinking about freedom.
Me too. I always loved good food. I wasn't a huge eater but I loved good food.
Is there a recipe for that Wild Rice Dressing? Sounds really good!!
-------------------- "Yeah, I miss me too." Posts: 234 | From NY originally registered in 2008 | Registered: Nov 2012
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GretaM
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Member # 40917
posted
All these recipes sound very yummy to me
Pigeons suck.
This is a rough full moon. Don't know why but it's one of the worst ones I've had.
Hang in there all. We're all in the same boat. We have to just keep paddling along here, even though it's rough seas most of the time.
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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I did lose my sense of smell and taste for a while - oddly, got it back looking at purple light flashing 6x/sec in a light box called the lumatron!
Being zinc deficient can cause loss of smell and taste.
Maybe try to find the most interesting, freshest ingredients you can, with the most interesting recipes - I don't know - up to you. When I put ginger in any juice drink I make, for example, it perks me up.
I also notice I get a lift from the liquid Now Vit D drops.
Re past lively activities, I find substitutes, so I'm still connected with the activity, but in a safer, less active way.
Re depression, I was able to stop it cold by taking 12x pulsatilla homeopathic tablets! I got high and didn't know what to do about it, having Lyme!
Re feeling apathetic, I had that until I started on Armour thyroid. Then it's like my body came alive again. I tested low in T3 and normal in TSH.
I would encourage everyone to play with the pieces and parts of this experience to see what could work for us.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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This is a Turkish dessert made mainly of beans! It has a festival (“Asure”), a cool name (“Noah’s Ark Dessert”) and a book (Elif Shafak’s The Bastard of Istanbul). It’s the traditional dessert made in massive quantities and shared with neighbors on the 10th day of the Muslim month Muharrem.
According to its origin story, Noah created asure by throwing together whatever ingredients were left on the ark. I’ve given the recommended ingredients, but I prefer Noah’s approach myself. Whatever grains, pulses and dried fruit you have in your pantry will do. I love the rose water, but if you can’t find it, use vanilla instead. The pomegranate seeds on the top look like jewels!
Serves 10 – 12
2oz haricot (navy) beans, soaked overnight (or at least for 6 hours) and drained 2oz skinned broad (fava) beans soaked overnight (or at least for 6 hours) and drained 2oz chickpeas (garbanzo beans) soaked overnight (or at least for 6 hours) and drained 4oz pot barley, soaked overnight in plenty of water
4oz dried apricots 2oz raisins 2oz currants 8oz stevia and/or Erythrotol or xylitol. 2 tablespoon corn flour (cornstarch) or rice flour 1/4 pint rose water
To garnish: 2 teaspoons/10 ml cinnamon 4-5 dried figs, sliced 4-5 dried apricots, sliced 15 ml/1 tablespoon sultanas Seeds of 1/2 pomegranate
Cook the beans until just tender. Transfer the barley and its soaking water to a large, deep pan and bring to boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for about 45 minutes, or until the barley is tender, topping up with the water during the cooking time if necessary.
Add the cooked beans, chickpeas and the rice, and bring the liquid to boil again. Reduce the heat and simmer for about 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, place all the dried fruit in a bowl and cover with boiling water. Leave to soak for 10 minutes, then drain. Add the fruit to the pan with the beans and stir in the stevia etc. Continue to simmer, stirring from time to time, until the mixture thickens.
Mix the corn flour or rice flour with a little water to form a creamy paste. Add 30ml/2tbsp of the hot liquid from the pan to the paste and add it to the pan, stirring constantly. Add the rose water and continue to simmer the mixture for another 15 minutes, stirring from to time, until the mixture is vert thick.
Transfer the mixture to a large mixing bowl. Shake the bowl to make sure the surface is flat and leave the pudding to cool. Sprinkle the cinnamon over the pudding and arrange the sliced dried figs, apricots, sultanas over the top. Sprinkle pomegranate seeds over generously. Serve chilled or at room temperature.
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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It also had rice (yes, 2 oz!), which I left out because I'm leery of the ****nic problem in rice.
If you need to avoid gluten, avoid the barley and substitute with gluten-free grains. Or quinoa. Or just beans by themselves.
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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posted
Oh, I forgot about Lymenet's sensitivity to the word a*r*s*e*n*i*c!
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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nefferdun
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Member # 20157
posted
Thanks Anthropologista. That is such an exciting recipe - so exotic. I can hardly wait to try it. I haven't heard of sultanas so I will look them up. I will make this and let you know how it goes
Here is the wild rice recipe and some more good ones. You have to leave out the fat or adjust it. Instead of pecans I used pumpkin seeds. They only have 12 grams of fat per cup.
For a quick meal I buy texturized vegetable protein and mix it with black beans. I buy salsa and add diced tomato and onion - and the key to making it really taste good, fresh lime juice. Serve on rice.
I like this recipe too.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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GretaM
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posted
Mmmmm....Anthro-I'm licking my lips and rubbing my belly just reading that recipe! It looks delicious! And the story behind it is great also
And believe it or not-I have rosewater extract somewhere in my cupboard.
Awesome! Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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nefferdun
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Member # 20157
posted
Here is the cranberry glaze for the loaf I posted. It was posted to go with turkey but it is great with the lentil loaf.
Saute 1 in TB butter 1/2 chopped shallot 2 fresh sage leaves 1 ts whole juniper berries ( I didn't have these) ADD
1 cup fresh cranberries 2/3 cup maple syrup or coconut palm sugar syrup (GI is 35) 2/3 apple cider 1/2 cup red currant jelly (I used berry jelly I had made before) 1/4 ts salt
Simmer until cranberries are soft - about 3 minutes Process in blender and then pass through sieve. Return to pan and simmer until thickened - about 10-15 minutes.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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nefferdun
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Member # 20157
posted
AHH - Sultanas - golden raisons
How much is 2 oz of beans and 4 oz of barley. Can I use canned beans or would that not be as good?
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
Thanks for the great-looking recipes, Nefferdun!
Sorry for not translating sultanas! The 2 oz and 4 oz were for dried beans and barley. Let me see how these translate into cups, and I'll estimate the volume of beans once cooked.
Yes, I'm sure canned beans would be just fine--go for it. Glad you can put your rose water to good use, Greta!
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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posted
I'm so glad you have a good, supportive therapist, Nefferdun. I could not have believed the difference ours makes. I hope you can also find a medical professional who can give you the support and respect you deserve.
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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nefferdun
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posted
Great. I want to try it.
By the way, I found a low fat pie crust that is super. You just crush 8 low-fat graham crackers in a food processor and then add 3 TB jam (I used home made apple butter) and process again. Mash into the pie pan and bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes until lightly brown. The entire crust has 8 grahams of fat!!
I made a pumpkin pie filling using egg beaters, coconut palm sugar (GI is only 35), 1 can non fat condensed milk (any milk will do) and 1TB of corn starch to make sure it sets well. I poured it over the pre-baked graham crust and baked again about 45 minutes or so.
It is GOOD!!!! As good as any pumpkin pie I ever made.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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GretaM
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posted
Neff-your recipes look awesome! That pie is a great one!
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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posted
OK, those bean volumes for Asure: 2 oz dried beans = 1/4 cup. So that's probably equivalent to 3/4 cup cooked beans = a total of 2 & 1/4 cups. If you're using canned beans, I'd use 1 can onf one kind and one can of another.
Will definitely try some of your recipes, Nefferdun!
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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posted
I've had lyme for about 4 or 5 years and was diagnosed a year and a half ago. I was on orals for 14 months. I'm pretty good now but lack the stamina I had before the bite. Last night I read the posts about losing motivation; I know with lyme so many bad things happen to your body; for me it was insomnia. I could not sleep, the nights lasted forever followed by exhausted days. Then my wife found something online called a Fisher-Wallace stimulator. It's used to relieve insomnia, anxiety, depression, PTSD. It's not cheap at $700 but if you're a senior or a veteran it's $600. They say it has a 80% success rate. I bought it and even though the manufacturer says to expect results in about a week, I had some success the first night. After a week I was sleeping like a baby. And to quote Dr. B: "If you can't sleep you can't get better." It has a 60 day money-back guarantee. I'm usually a big skeptic but am so glad I tried this. You can check it out yourself @ www.fisherwallace.com or call 212-688-8100. I hope it helps you like it did for me.
Posts: 4 | From Allentown, PA | Registered: Oct 2013
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
From what I can figure out, the Fisher Wallace Stimulator is similar to the SOTA Biotuner, but the SOTA unit is much less expensive.
posted
No I do not profit AT ALL from the product, but thanks for asking. I have no affiliation with the company I'm only saying what has helped me greatly. I have been reading lyme net since I got sick but never posted anything until now. I wanted to say what worked for me.
Posts: 4 | From Allentown, PA | Registered: Oct 2013
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map1131
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Member # 2022
posted
Sometimes our bodies know when they are in danger and pull us down so we feel this way. It happened to me.
For months I couldn't figure out what changed but I knew these feelings were deep and had significance. Finally my gut told me.....check your heart. I had basic heart tests 2 yrs before and they showed nothing.
Well it was my heart and those test missed something very serious. I had 100% blockage in right coronary artery.
The cardio when he did the angi-gram showed me my beautiful little by-pass my body had built, so I wouldn't have a heart attack. He told me it had been going on for years.
Didn't surprise me that this illness also damaged my heart starting at age of 42. What surprised me was I really didn't have any symptoms I could point to, because I'd been ill for 13 yrs.
Meds instead of stent was recommended due to 100% blockage. Chances of major heart attack to high for me liking.
Don't ignore your heart. Don't think you are too young to have heart damage from this illness. We all have seen that lyme disease is known to cause heart problems. It just gets buried and covered by typical lyme sx.
Maybe your body is trying to tell you something. LISTEN!
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Catgirl
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 31149
posted
Neff, your pie recipe sounds awesome! I need to cut the sugar though. Do you think it would be sweet enough with just the condensed milk (21g sugar)? Maybe I could try this with stevia, and spice it up.
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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nefferdun
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 20157
posted
Anthroplogista, thanks for the measurements. I am going to give this recipe a whorl today.
Catgirl, You could use stevia. I cut sweetener way down. I don't even like a lot sweetness any more. The coconut palm sugar has a glycemic index of 35 so it is safe for diabetics. It won't raise the blood sugar rapidly but I don't know how it will affect yeast. I wish I could find a recipe for low fat graham crackers so I could make them more healthy - I have looked everywhere.
I have great news. Yesterday I went to a local NP and she has worked with two LLMD in CA!! I was reluctant to go to her before because I heard she does IV hydrogen peroxide, which scares me, but she told me she can prescribe drugs.
She is testing me for everything under the sun - first, ALL of my hormones - and then environmental toxins and heavy metals. She is calling F Labs to ask what the UFO's are in my blood, and she is getting all my previous lab work from various doctors I have seen.
Maybe this will get into a more stable remission.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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No I do not profit AT ALL from the product, but thanks for asking. I have no affiliation with the company I'm only saying what has helped me greatly. I have been reading lyme net since I got sick but never posted anything until now. I wanted to say what worked for me.
- Thanks, mohr! Welcome!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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nefferdun
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 20157
posted
I made the pudding - it is cooking now. I think I didn't do it exactly right but it tastes very good anyway. I didn't need the corn starch to thicken because it is already very thick.
I used a coconut juice blend instead of water which added some nice flavor, and I used a submersible blender to break the beans up some so it is smoother - still chunky but not as many whole beans.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
just caught this.
what's motivation?? energy?? ain't got none...
i feel like going into a cave and hiberating through the rest of my life...
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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And GREAT news about the NP! It's wonderful that you finally have someone you can work with locally. Good luck with the test results and for finding an effective way of keeping you in remission!
Posts: 431 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2011
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Catgirl
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 31149
posted
Right on Neff (NP)! :) So happy to hear this!
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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nefferdun
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 20157
posted
Thanks, it is hard to believe - I have been disappointed so many times before - but this NP seems to know her stuff. Did I mention I went to a regular doctor last week and she sent me packing without doing a thing - lyme disease is like having leprosy.
I didn't even bother to take the tests results the previous doctors refused to look at - she wants them! All of them! You mean you actually care? I was startled.
The lack of motivation has a lot to do with the disease affecting my brain, causing depression and anxiety as well as just not having the stamina I used to. Not having a doctor that gives a hoot has contributed to it. When you are ordering drugs from India and treating yourself with a very debilitated brain, it gets to you. If I am not depressed, then I am mad.
With babesia I felt like the dementors of Harry Potter were sucking my soul out. It was as though I was not even part of this world - just looking on apathetically. I had to force myself to do things.
I am still somewhat that way but not as bad. There are other events and circumstances in my life contributing to it all. I can get pretty down if I let myself go there so I try to look on the bright side.
I promise myself I won't allow it to destroy me. I just won't give up. There has to be a cure and if there isn't then I will eat this way the rest of my life.
One of my mission is to find good recipes. I wish there were other people here with PR so we could have potluck meals together. The loneliness of this disease can really get to me.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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