posted
Yea, that's me. No matter how hard you pray take the right meds and try reducing your stress, eat right, for some it's just too late.
The stress, anxiety, panic, fear and worthlessness will always be here. It started 3 years ago. People saying just deal with it, one day at a time it'll get better you'll see? Guess what? It's getting worse. Things crashed even more last spring.
I lost more in 3 years than I gained. Something is happening that nobody can understand and I'm just burnt out talking about it and ppl thinking they know the answer.
I look more and more like an idoit and continuing digging myself into a hole and proving further to those out there yea I'm just crazy and too much, no matter how hard I try to make things better, Im laughable. Defending myself is a no no. They always win, oh but I forgot they're "perfect", right
Therapy isn't working. Truth is I just can't explain anything to her, just smile nod and say things aren't good but oh well. She's not going to understand.
I don't even think this is Lyme, nor I don't even think this is benzo/ssri WD. The best LLMD in the world or benzo wise psychiatrist can't fix me. Maybe 3 years ago.
Celebrated Lent/ Ash Wednesday at work. It gave me no peace.
Sorry for this god awful post. 1 more month I see the new LLMD. I know, waste of time and $.
Posts: 597 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2019
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posted
Sorry if I upset anyone. It's been hell. Everything is up and down. What the ****.
This afternoon I forced myself to go into my portable sauna, then took a cool shower right after and honestly it did help. The weather turned nicer as the day went on so I think helped as well.
Posts: 597 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2019
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Bartenderbonnie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 49177
posted
You said “Something is happening that nobody can understand.”
I understand, I get it, everyone here on LymeNet gets it. But no one who doesn’t have Lyme and company will not get. (Unless they are a care taker). I know it’s not fair and we deserve a little kindness, but that’s not the CDC and the IDSA agenda.
Change is coming and we WILL see change in our lifetime.💚
The ‘perfect’ people are flawed if they can’t show human compassion to someone who is medically struggling. You now appreciate others that are in pain and that is growth in human character.
Yesterday I had a really great day, I put a red heart sticker on my calendar. Today I woke up in HELL! Headache the size as Mount Everest. Stomach issues, wide spread pain, so dizzy, unable to do anything other than toss and turn in bed. Anxiety and feeling exposed.
I know what to do to detox but am unable. Cant get into an epsom salt bath. Can’t possibly take my meds or supplements. Cant get outside and walk the dog. Can’t cook for myself.
I refuse to beat myself up or feel guilty about it. I don’t deserve that. I will treat myself like the way a Lyme Warrior should be treated.
You deserve kindness. You deserve a shoulder to cry on, a long hug, someone to cry with. And if your the only one that can provide yourself the kindness you deserve, then you must do it!
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Posts: 2977 | From Florida | Registered: Nov 2016
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