Today I felt horrible, my mom tore apart my bedroom, she took all my clothes out of my drawers and made me go through it all and throw out stuff that no longer fit me. I was light headed all day and that was the last thing I wanted to do. It worked out thought, my son took a three and a half hour nap, which unheard of if you ever met my son.

I got diagnosed in late august/early september of 2004 with lyme disease. They say I got in around June which means I got it in the Poconos.

Lately I get so down sometimes and I feel like I am never going to get better. I know it has only been 6 months but it has been a lot. I am a full time student, I just finished taking 15 credits and I am a single mother. I was on a scholarship for basketball my freshman year of college, I dormed and I got hurt and then found out I was pregnant. I stayed there my second semester and then stayed home from school the following semester, I gave birth to my son. After he was born I had surgery to repair my shoulder, then I had months of rehab. Still to this day my shoulder is not 100%, it never will be. I guess its not just the lyme disease that is depressing me but basketball plays a factor too. I played basketball since i was 4, i was in a clinic. I have been on teams since then. Now I am 20 and I ache walking up and down the stairs, its depressing. I can't carry my son for long period of times or else everything hurts. I just wish I was like every other 20 year old.

My mom doesn't understand how some days I can go out to the bar with my friends and some days I can't help her fold laundry. She thinks its that I pick and choose what I want to do. So in return after she said that to me today I printed out The Spoon Theory. Her remark back was maybe my spoons should go towards things that need to be done around the house.

I know I could probably do more around the house but I do like to get out and spend time with my friends too.

Please let me know if it is me or if someone understands me.

I understand how you feel,I read the spoon story too, it made me cry. And even though we don't have many spoons, sometimes we do want to have some fun.

I don't think that part of us ever really leaves. Hopefully with treatment you will soon have many more spoons.

Just wanted to let you know - you're not alone. This is the place to be and even if you don't post (I don't alot because I feel others have said it better) it is a great source of knowledge. You are not in this alone and others feel the same way you do. This helps us more than anything.

The Spoon Story has been my crux for awhile - I've had Lyme since 1996 and wasn't diagnosed until 2000. It's been a long road and some days I feel as if I'm just getting started all over again. Use your spoons for the things that are necessary first - your child and then yourself. Guess what - the housework will always be there (don't know of any secret to make it go away).

If your mom is receptive - let her read over some of the items on the board. Print out the ones that are closest to how you feel and ask her to read. Don't try to force it down her throat, but hopefully she'll begin to get the message.

I have to admit after all this time, my family still doesn't totally understand. My husband is the best because he sees me everyday and can see through the "But you Look So Good" facade we all put on.

Education's the only way, but that doesn't always work either, especially if you look the perfect picture of health like mosf of us do.

You could print this thread and show it to your mother.

I think just adjusting to this disease and coinfections is a huge challenge and I have not had the multiple adjustments you have. I feel for your Mom too - It can't be easy for her to watch you in pain both physically and emotionally. It has to be hard for her to watch you put your dreams on hold. This is taxing her too but in different ways. I think you should have a heart to heart with her if you can. I know that the relationship I have with my husband was very taxed when I got sick and didn't have a diagnosis...and it is hard to explain that there are good days and bad. We have had to really communicate - I don't want him to start to build resentment. Maybe if your Mom read some of our posts that would help her understand.

I definitely think you need to get out with your friends - this is so important for your mental health.

Hang in there and I pray that treatment will start leaving you with more energy and less pain.