Topic: Being excluded from events due to lyme- im sad
cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
Im just sick and frustrated and really annoyed and angry.
I found out Bon Jovi is coming back for a concert so i call my brother. WELL he has already gotten tickts 5 of them and they are all used.
DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO ASK ME.
its like I DONT EXIST ANYMORE.
'oh i didnt know you liked him' whatever!!!!
Maybe i will just join my friend down the shore that weekend.
I was given the- oh i didnt think you could do a concert...BLAH BLAH BLAH. so i guess i will just become a recluse.
I have plans for a concert with my mom in JUNE...but because im so fed up with her i dont even feel like going to that either.
I might as well just hide in my room forever.
Really, im so sick and tired of it all....its bad enough i cant eat what i want to eat...but now everyone just lives their lives like i dont exist.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3244
posted
i hear ya
i think i have people in my life who still don't ask me to join them because a couple of years ago i said no A LOT MORE than i said yes.
isolation is the pits
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
Yea isolation is very tough.
then i have some friends trying to drag me out saying my home life is making me so sick.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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valymemom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7076
posted
Is any other disease so isolating??? Such an emotional toll!
I have friends who have suggested that I must know all there is to know about lyme and so I should stop researching and reading lymenet. ( I have lost the connection we once shared.)
When I read your post this morning.....I just felt your pain (sounds trite) and did not know how to respond. Still don't have words to take the hurt away.
I bet many people have read this and not posted because it is hard to offer advice or think of another perspective.
Hope tomorrow is better.
Posts: 1240 | From Centreville,VA | Registered: Mar 2005
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AZURE WISH
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 804
posted
I just wanted to let you know your not alone.
I had friends that just stopped calling and asking.
posted
I just wanted to let you know I totally understand. It's like it's bad enough that you're sick, but now you have to feel alienated from friends and family.
Just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, and it really isn't fair. Of course people say life isn't fair, but that doesn't take away the pain.
I hope you feel better soon, and if you don't, there's always people here who care.
posted
I've had this too... I have asked my family to ask if I would like to do something, even if they know the answer is no.
Even if I am flat out in bed and they go somewhere, they do ask if I am up to going AND if not can they bring me something.
I know it's not the same as going, but this way I don't feel as excluded. Still not the same, but at least I don't feel completely left out.
Posts: 114 | From USA | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Remember your lymenet logo (you can't give up yet). I know thats hard to do..I actually feel the same way you do. Many of my old work-related friends and others do not think of me as a person any longer... I AM lyme disease. That is all they ever talk to me about..it makes me sick.
Have lost touch with many,I suppose its my fault too. How many times do I bury myself in my bed for days with a box of cereal,a bottle of water and the remote.
It's the friggin' pits with no end in sight for me too. Just please know that thru this miracle-wire of modern communication,YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Many good thoughts your way. I wish we could just get ripped. Bartonella Blues
Posts: 42 | From northern calif. | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
there is nothing more isolating than being a single adult male with chronic neurolyme.
I've often wished I was a woman.
Posts: 523 | From Stillwater,OK,USA | Registered: Sep 2004
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cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
Bruce,
i have to disagree there nothing worse then being a single woman with nuerolyme.
i often wish i was a guy.
is that a lyme symptom ;-)
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3244
posted
i'm trying to push myself to go to a baby shower this weekend. i should go since i work with this woman and a lot of other people from work will be there.
i still feel an awkwardness that has never faded completely. Not that i was ever the baby shower cheer leader type. gosh no! But since lyme i am less comfortable with other people.
Friends of mine will be there. i told a fib about waiting to see if i was meeting up with my sister to celebrate her birthday on Sunday. Her birthday is accurate, but we are not getting together because she is so busy she can't spare the time. She lives a ways from me.
lyme makes it hard to feel like i'm myself and i'm doing SO MUCH BETTER THAN I WAS!
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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You do exist and you won't be isolated forever. Isn't that awful how people behave when a person is sick. I have made many notes of how to treat others after being ill with lyme.
This past Christmas, I accidently drove past a friends house and saw all of our friends cars there having some sort of party that I never heard of or got invited to. Even my two sister in laws were there!
I try to make peace with it all and I hope you can do the same. We'll be your cyber friends!
Posts: 460 | From Illinois | Registered: Aug 2005
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
These diseases are so hard to deal with..I don't know exactly what to say but I do know that I have discovered those friends that seemed to care and those family members and friends that were way to shallow to ever trust again.
It is like having to start all over with new friends..And being able to look at people with different perspectives..The cool people do not always hang around..
Good luck..lymemomtooo
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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i have to disagree there nothing worse then being a single woman with nuerolyme.
i often wish i was a guy.
is that a lyme symptom ;-)
probably. lyme has a tendency to asexualize. at the risk of sounding mysoginistic, I would say that women due to societal expectations can in general expect more empathic treatment than the male, who is expected to work hard earn money and support a family.
Posts: 523 | From Stillwater,OK,USA | Registered: Sep 2004
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Its true that there isnt alot of societal room for men to be "weak" or weakened, even by illness. And it is more societally acceptable for a woman to be weak and dependant. (heck, sometimes its still encouraged!).
Personally I have often thought it would be 'easier' to be a male with Lyme, as societally, women are expected to be care-givers and not care-recievers. Typically, women care for men and children. Who takes care of women?
Also, Lyme makes me feel very very UN-nice and non-social, which is very hard to pull off as a female who was raised to be gentle, kind and solicitous of others all the time.
At very least lyme-guys dont have to deal with gynaecological and pronounced hormonal complications of Lyme, which can be considerably un-fun.
santa_pax
Posts: 58 | From Planet Earth | Registered: Nov 2005
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5dana8
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7935
posted
Hey cangiveup
yes. Lyme is very isolateing and lonely and boaring.
It's not like we don't want to do anything. I want it all. Job,career,friends outings,ect..
I think it would be easier if we had no ambitions or where content to be home body's. It's a cruel state to be in.
I am so glad to have my friends here on lymenet. because untill you live it-the islation and the disease its hard to know what it like.
I feel for you, I really do.
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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This is a wee bit off topic but let me sneak this in: I will be careful not to make assumptions about the impact of this disease on the sexes. I see that it can cause hormonal troubles for both men and women.
I appreciate gettting a glimpse into both guy's and gal's experience of Lyme disease and to see how the perspectives differ. (And also how they are also the same....ie, it is isolating and traumatic for everyone! )
santa_pax
Posts: 58 | From Planet Earth | Registered: Nov 2005
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
Take the INITIATIVE; on your good days, call or go to your friend's homes & DO something YOU would enjoy doing that day.
Many have offered over & over; so they stop asking.
So as my late Mom told me before you died, if someone offers to do something for you, ACCEPT even if you could do that yourself. It makes the other person feel good.
IP: Logged |
posted
Boy I know how you feel! Greg is a senior in high school but has to be home tutored because he can't make it to classes. No one bothers to keep him informed of fun things going on.
All his friends are going camping in Canada for a week after they graduate - oh ya, they "forgot" to ask Greg. He probably wouldn't have gone, but it would have been nice to be asked.
School had everyone sign a graduation t-shirt. His friends were suppose to bring it to the house for him to sign. No one ever came.
Luckily he has thicker skin than I do!!!
Kathy as always, Posts: 64 | From MA | Registered: Mar 2006
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
Lyme pulled the plug today-and I spent most of it in bed-wondering-is this all there is????
Will the Joy of life ever return?????? I have to believe it will. I must have Faith. I have just begun treatment. At least I made it through another day.
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