Looking for advice on whether or not to pursue a high school diploma, as my daughter's participaton in the graduation ceremony is questionable at this time.
She has one homebound class to complete, but won't make the deadline to graduate with her class.
She wants to drop out and take the GED. I think she is so close I hate to see her throw all that work away.
The stress of school and finishing this class has caused her to relapse. So on the other hand I think dropping out would be the best thing for her health.
What's a mom to do? All Advice Welcome!
Thanks, MommaK
Posts: 242 | From Mississippi | Registered: Oct 2006
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kelmo
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I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes the school will extend over the summer.
We have a state exam called AIMS, and my daughter's class was the first to have it as a requirement to graduate. Lotsa pressure.
She tried geometry four times and could not cognitively understand it. But, because she passed her AIMS test by ONE point (high in geometry for some reason), they waved her geometry requirement, and she graduated on time. They averaged her previous four attempts and it came to a C...passing.
This is what I did. I wrote a letter explaining the illness. Attached was a letter from the doctor stating that she could not cognitively complete the course due to brain infection.
I also attached her MRI result, and a list of the symptom list for Lyme, hilighting all the symptoms she experienced. That was persuasive.
You didn't say how many credits your child needs to graduate. The geometry was the only thing holding up my daughter from graduating on time.
It was STRESSFUL. We crawled on our hands and knees to get to that day. Some moms feel different, and you need to know your own child. For mine, NOT graduating on time would've sent her into a depressive spiral.
Ask her what she wants, and what is she willing to do to get it.
I know what a burden this is for you, mom.
My daughter can only handle one online class with the junior college right now. But, it's SOMETHING.
Take care, and give your baby a hug.
Posts: 2903 | From AZ | Registered: Feb 2006
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lymemomtooo
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Does she has an IEP or a 504 plan? If so you might request a meeting to help cut the chase and eliminate unnecessary busy work. This was something that had to be done for our daughter to get her thru.
I had the same dilemma. To extend it for the summer or another year and figured she had no signs that indicated a quick recovery so we went to get it over with asap.
Good luck. I hope the school and teachers are able to help, no matter what the choices or outcomes. lymemomtooo
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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I have decided we need to try and talk to the school again. I like the idea of the letter, but don't feel I have time to do it justice now. Her doctor did write a note mainly to get her homebound status, but I really like the part mentioned about cognitive impairment due to brain infection.
No she doesn't have an IEP or 504. She was half way through her junior year when she became ill and had always been such an high achiever, she didn't need but two more credits as a senior to graduate. A year and a half later she has finished all her junior classes homebound but one. Some she had to drop down to a lesser level to complete and her work was reduced.
She has been trying to attend two classes this year but has missed more than half. She still has good grades though and we expect she will finish them.
However, the one homebound class she hasn't finished is AP Chemistry II. She struggled to have a 92 the first semester in there. She had noticed her cognitive function declining about half way through the semester. She saved that class for last to make up because she knew it would be the hardest. She had time to do it and a wonderful tutor able to spend ample time with her; however, when they began to work on it she was overwhelmed and even had a serious relapse because of trying to study so hard. She says she just can't "think" like that anymore. Plus the tests are formulas with chemical compound symbols that she should remember from before but has forgotten.
Sad thing is she only needs a 48 on the rest of the work to pass! Because we waited to the end to discover she can't do the work, it is too late to substitute another class for the credit. She needs one more science credit.
If she wasn't such an overachiever we wouldn't be in this trouble. Maybe the argument that one semester of an advanced placement class should be worth more will mean something.
I would think they keep track of dropouts and would like to have one less! Maybe the principal will be able to help. If not the superintendent of schools will be my next stop.
My daughter also had to pass subject area tests. English, Biology, Algebra and US History from 1877. The only one she had not taken was the History. She was half way through AP History when she became homebound. They had only made it up to just past 1877! She had trouble reading and understanding what she read, plus remembering! She was too ill to take the test when everybody else did, and also missed the first three make-up/re-take times. Luckily she passed her first try. Thank God for multiple choice tests!
My daughter was stubborn about dropping her academic levels just to complete the work. She fought to stay in school. Eventually she was so weak and in so much pain she had to become homebound.
We actually considered a GED in her junior year so she could go ahead and start college classes (probably online) at a slow pace. However, she wanted to stay in school, even if just one or two classes, just to be in the "school scene" and maintain friendships.
My daughter has always been a one-two friend person. Unfortunately she feels she has no friends now. She says how ironic that she did not drop out of school last year just to have friends, and she has none anyway.
Prom was weekend before last. At 10 pm she announced she was glad she didn't try to go to the prom because she was drained and would not have been able to make it even that far through the evening. Besides prom is only fun with friends, and she didn't have any at her school.
That is the saddest thing about this whole situation. I think that is partially why she doesn't care much if she walks across the stage to get a diploma with her classmates or not.
I just hate to see her regret it later. You can't go back. Thanks for the opportunity to vent! Thanks for your support and help! Plan to go to school tomorrow and give it a shot!
Love bunches MommmaK
Posts: 242 | From Mississippi | Registered: Oct 2006
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kelmo
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I hear your sadness, MommaK. My daughter lost all her friends, too.
Geneal
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Dear MommaK,
What a tough, sad place to be....
If she can, I would also encourage that HS Diploma, especially if she plans on college.
Be aggressive about her cognitive impairments.
They may be able to delay her testing.
When I was in HS (long time ago), we had people who graduated mid-term, end of regular year, and over the summer.
You didn't get to walk across the stage when you graduated over the summer, but you got your diploma just the same.
I can identify with the 17 year old no friends thing.
Being the unlucky person that I am, I contracted Hepatitis A over the summer before my senior year.
I went the first day of school for that year....then was out for 7 weeks!!!
I too was in honors classes. Honors English, Biology, History.....regular math though.
When I finally returned to school, still ill and having kidney issues, all of my friends from the
previous four years had moved on.....from me.
I felt isolated, ill, and scared.
If I caught the flu, I had to be hospitalized.
That hepatitis wreaked havoc on my immune system....had none left.
Lived with bladder infections, yeast infections, kidney infections, etc.
I had to write 80 essays in 7 weeks, plus do my normal school work to make up.
I took my first Incompletes and had two Failing grades that year.
I had to take an F in my typing II class....could not make up all of that typing too!
I made it....barely.....by myself without friends for support. Family was frustrated with my continuing illnesses.
Two days after I almost passed out walking across that stage to get my diploma, I was hospitalized again for some infection.
I was not going to college.....had enough.
My Mom said that was fine....I was a cashier at a local grocery store....
She said if I wanted to do that the rest of my life....that was ok with her.
Obviously, as time went by, my health and stamina improved (albiet slowly).
I enrolled in college that fall....still ill, but determined.
I made it.. Your daughter will too!!!
As if to add insult to injury, the semester I was go graduate from college, I had to have my
two appendixes out. Had to sit out that semester.
I finished that fall. Worked for four years, went back to grad school, and finished with
a 3.65 gpa while working full time!!
High school friends are important in high school, but you make new friends in college,
and new friends in jobs, and on and on.
Tell her to hang in there. Ask the school system for some more time....
We were allowed to enroll in some community college classes as well when we were in HS for credit.
That was without a diploma.
Maybe if she can get over this hump, it will remove a huge concern and allow her to get back
on the road to recovery.
Check with the local school system first.
Please let me know if I can be of any help with that.
Praying for your daughter and you,
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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char
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Oh Momma,
I am so sorry that your daughter (and YOU) are in such a pressure cooker so close to the finish line.
I have a sophmore with lyme homeschooling and now studying for GED.
That said...
school requirements..
If she is this fatigued, the stress could be causing relapse. We went through this.
I wonder if this homebound teach is truly equipped to teach this class? I do get fatigue and brain fog are huge here but homebound instruction does not measure up.
A way to drop physics without dropping out of school would be to could rack up a credit through an on-line high school like Keystone. Come to think of it, she could probably sail through their course physics by May--since she in accelated class she has probably already mastered close to all the material. Also it is like likely that their non-AP 3rd or 4th. Spanish would equal what an AP student did their 2nd year. My daughter go so burnt out on Algebra that switching to new subject was best thing for her.
The kids can get out of tiring busy work and was able to read chapter and take test. I read it to her on real bad day. Much easier when you can do schoolwork during part of day they are able to do it. Which varies, of course, from day to day. Open book tests! I really think this would be an easy "A" or at the very least an easy credit.
As a special ed teacher; I know that it is within bounds to read work to them; give helps to locate answers and type in answers.
As a parent, I would have few scruples going furthur, that is me..
She would be granted some of these adaptations, or should be; but they are not able or willing to hustle up a 504. Not cheating. My son, who tested years ahead in comprehension BOMBED a end of year test. He must of been feeling terrible that day. I dragged him out of bed to go in to take test.
Now he has poor grades going into this fall which is what is needed to get extra help and concessions. Before this no one would believe the severity of cognitive impairment.
All this said, I am happy with this particular on-line program and they do have higher level classes.
I imagine your daughter could get one done in time to graduate as students are allowed to go at own pace. If she is completely exhausted how about taking could take an elective and meet requirements, right? Our kids are made to think they will never get into college and fail in life if they don't get stellar grades in AP classes which is a false premise!
A friend at church gave my daughter a timely hug last year and told her-
My nephew dropped out of high school at 16, went to Jr. college, then graduated from Harvard. We so needed encouragement on alternate paths.
This path exempts one from SAT and all if she hasn't taken them.
Just some ideas. The GED study guide makes the test look extremely easy for a student like your daughter. But I don't sense it is time to give up on HS diploma. Worse come to worse, she could take college classes on-line or at Jr. college and transfer back for diploma. Or do it through homebound.
I cannot believe the rigidity of these schools not letting a student "walk" when they are so close and through no fault of their own.
Could you appeal to the superintendant or school board?
Have I completly bombarded you? Please excuse-this situation makes me REALLY mad!
I have been investigating this issue ad nauseum. PM me if you would like more of what I am learning!
Char
Char
[ 12. April 2007, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: char ]
Posts: 1230 | From US | Registered: Nov 2005
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lymemomtooo
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"very long story short is its never too late for IEP/504, they just dont like to do the paperwork so close to grad...want to push em thru" I agree..Go for it. If you request an evaluation, they have to test!!!!
also get on line and get info on non-verbal learning disability. It covers so many things that our lymies have..
About walking the walk...It is a diappointment but it is not the end of the world. I put out tons of cash for cap/gown, invitations, cards and all of the fluff that they now sell...She would not attend any of it. The principal, who was an idiot most of the time, even waved her requirement for practice, she still would not go.
She was very OCD then and so paranoid about how people would look at her. It wasn't worth a trip to the psych ward. But I wish she had at least let me take a photo of her in the cap and gown but that was not allowed either.
I HATE TICKS!!!!!lymemomtooo
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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3greatkids
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What does the guidance office say?Make them do the job they are there for...HELP,CONCERN,HELP,understanding.
Can they be of any help?I would think w/ illness,etc.they could have her go thru the steps,have a pending diploma coming.I've seen kids w/ worse and not w/ illness,drugs,skipping school,bad boys get in on the action...but that's what snitchin gets ya these days.
I would hope w/ only one class left and w/ the help of this office,THEY would pave a smooth path for her.
Golly,give her a big hug,I don't see how any of these kids make it in school today and having LYME????Hey,you can have a better graduation for her too.
Our guidance office only helps those w/ AP A's and really high achievers,etc,etc....calling the rest Not college material!Please stay in school and finish that ONE course.
I really hope she could finish the course over the summer and then go from there.Breathe,renew friendships,take her time w/ planning college or school.If they will not work w/ you,then,hey,let her finish,she can take some on-line college,or other classes,and relax and get ready for her next step in life.
Whatever,GOOD LUCK DARLIN!!!!!Getting to where you are now is GREAT!!!! Posts: 1076 | Registered: Apr 2003
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lymemomtooo
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Ok, here's the next worry. We had to really hustle and work on an insurance disability because she would not be covered after the next birthday if not enrolled in college.
sorry to add more issues but better know now and get moving on something.
Most insurance cos do not let you know but they have some options for disabled children past the normal age of insurance. We are holding our breath year by year but she also now has SSI, it however covers none of the specialists and will not kick in very much with other current coverage. lmt
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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ByronSBell 2007
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posted
Wish I could graduate from highschool...
Sick all my junior year, too sick to even take a day of senior year, and now I am too sick to start this coming year... Hate lyme disease, seems like I am never going to get better.
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Hi ByronSBell, Yeah, lyme disease really stinks. It's tough physically and mentally. It's really tough in high school when it seems like all your friends have given up on you. BUT....... there really is hope. Don't give up on yourself.
No, I don't have any magic solutions, but I do have a son who was sick for 4 years. Attend school 1/2 of his freshman year and 1/2 of his sophmore year. Spent the rest of the time being home tutored (not home schooled!). Spent most of his time in bed or on the couch.
By law the school had to provide tutors and give my son an education. Find out your rights. The tutors have to come to you! Even if it's an hour a day.
We brought our son to around 35 different doctors and have spent close to $50,000 on meds and docs.in the past 4 years. Last year at this time he was averaging about 2 good hours a day. He is now a freshman in college, away from home with a 4.0 average. Besides lyme, he was also diagnosed with multiple food allergies. Once on this new diet, he became a more energetic person again.
Don;t give up. As hard as it is do the best you can each day. Good luck.
Kathy, MA
Posts: 64 | From MA | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Thanks to all for the great advice and support! You have inspired me to be more proactive. I have talked to the principal, but he hasn't called me back yet, so I called him back. Of course he's not in!
Time is of the essence so I found out about the next school board meeting and what to do to be recognized at the meeting. Not sure yet we have to go that far. But I want to be ready.
Thanks for the PM's! I am checking into Keystone. Not sure why they would or would not allow this option. Any other arguments for it?
You have also inspired my daughter to want to walk at graduation and not get the GED. However if they drag it on to summer school....she will balk. She plans to take one class at a time in jr college summer school.
Will keep you posted!
MommaK
[ 13. April 2007, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: MommaK ]
Posts: 242 | From Mississippi | Registered: Oct 2006
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Boy this has been a very stressful last few weeks.
Long story short after going to the guidance councelor, principal and then county office, we finally got the go ahead for my daughter to substitute another science for her needed 1/2 science credit. They gave her 1/2 credit for the semester she did complete.
Within hours we had a textbook and a tutor. Now she has 4 weeks to complete 4 chapters and 4 short answer tests. That works for us!
Hopefully she won't have any major setbacks and will be able to keep up the pace and graduate on time.
Thanks Bunches! MommaK
Posts: 242 | From Mississippi | Registered: Oct 2006
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kelmo
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That should be very doable!!! Wonderful, MommaK. Breathe.
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MommmaK
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Hate lyme disease, seems like I am never going to get better. ![[cussing]](graemlins/cussing.gif)
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