posted
I just found out my ex packed up our house ( which is now in foreclosure ) and obtained an apartment for him and the kids.
I had no idea he stopped paying the mortgage when I first got sick. I have no idea what to do. even if I get custody back, I have nowhere to live with them.
friend of a friend who owes a big favor has taken his case "pro bono" free, he said!!!!
apparetntly he has had this planned. I have anxiety so bad because he also told me he now has a girlfriend who is willing to help him and might move in with him!!!!!!
I don't know how much more I can take. he is supposed to provide for the kids and he hasn't even gotten them winter coats!!!! its getting colder and monday we are looking at snow.
he has such a smug attitude. I am now HOMELESS and my sister can't let me stay in her 1 bedroom apt forever. I'm sleeping in her bed with her for crying out loud. I get no income. christmas is in a few weeks. I don't want to spend it alone.
I swear he's causing stress on me purposely. he knows too well how stress makes my symptoms so much worse. I found out he also tried to remove me from his health insurance. god, is he trying to kill me or what?
my prescriptions would cost me thousands a month. not including the iv meds. I have a visiting nurse per week to change dressings on my picc line. I can only imagine how much the rocephin they deliver each week must cost. thank god they wouldn't allow him to just remove me from the plan.
I'm trying so hard to stay positive but with my kids caught in this mess it breaks my heart because they will be the ones hurt in the long run. he isn't a nurturing father or know how to guide them through these most important years of their life.
my ex started drinking at the age of 12. so I'm fearful they are predisposed to alcoholism. their behavior has changed due to the abrupt changes, my illness and the family breaking up. my daughter has gained 12 lbs since this all happened a mont or so ago. my son is not completing his homework.
I pray they don't turn to dangerous behavior to deal with their losses.
I guess I'm needing to vent. I'm praying I get well soon because so much depends 9on what I do now.
I saw my therapist today who is very good with me. advising me to accept what I can't controll immediately, not worry about tommorrow and stay in the moment. I'm so sad but I have so much to live for.
I do realize how much my kids need me and when I feel I can't go on, I will focus on them if I need to. I need to do whatever it takes because I know I can't do a thing for them if I'm not here. amazing how I couldn't see somethng so obvious.
what a mess but if I get thru this, I can get thru anything.
thank you-- cheryl
[ 01. December 2007, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: lymieliveagain2007 ]
Posts: 36 | From woburn,ma | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
here's how "I" see the best scenario happening.
Cheryl gets GOOD family lawyer and gets custody changed to HER!!!With or without her mothers financial help!!
Then moves as soon as possible to be either living with your mother(if possible, till you get back on your feet) or nearby close enough she can help you and the grandkids!!
Cheryl gets disability based on sxs!! Lives happily ever after,,,husband fades in the wind!! Loses touch with kids and has no FURTHER influence!!
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
I got a laugh at my crooked lymebrain because the first thing I thought of when I read your post was " oh I hope he has magic powers"
moodswings. ugh! laughing crying,laughing crying crying crying. but laughter is healing I hear so I will continue to laugh at the goofy stuff lyme does to me.
hopefully his crooked stuff will bite him in his sorry a**
Posts: 36 | From woburn,ma | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
You need a lawyer yesterday! Find one. There are some suggestions on your other thread.
He should be taken to court and asked to pay support for you.
I don't recall if you are divorced yet. If not he should be paying what is called pendente litea (sp?).
You are allowed to be on his insurance as long as you are still married to him.
You may need to call the company and make sure you are still on it. Let them know you do not want to be removed.
After a divorce you can be on COBRA for up to 3 years.
A good attorney can get him to help pay for your COBRA, or pay you a large amount of alimony, given your inability to work.
Bottom line, you need a good attorney.
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
| IP: Logged |
lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
Check out this site for free legal help in MA.
paste the long site name to the area where it asks for it
it'll bring up the short tinyurl name, you can then NAME it if you chose.
then come back to the thread abovve and paste it there
DELETE THE ENTIRE LONG THREAD leaving the tinyurl only! thanks so much!
i can't scroll from 1 line to another nor can many other neuro lymies; we thank ypu!
lymeagain!
i'm so sorry for the hell you are going thru. don, i loved your scenario.
lymeagain, you need laughter; it's in support by post by LYMETOO/TUTU ...needing laughter; i've put daily BELLY LAUGHS there for just this reason! go get some needed relief to your stress system!
we're all praying for you and your situation! read your other thread and start acting on suggestions given to you.
rant again when you need too; we're here 22/7...2 hrs. when no one is here!
IP: Logged |
lymeladyinNY
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10235
posted
Cheryl, I feel so badly for you. I often wonder what would happen to me and the kids if my husband wasn't here - you are living a bona fide nightmare.
All I can do is pray for you. I've thought about you and your children a lot.
I hope it all becomes a bad memory soon!
- Julie
-------------------- I want to be free Posts: 1170 | From Endicott, NY | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged |
lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
OK. I need input from others who are reading this thread.
Betty has asked me to change the link I posted because she says it causes the thread to go super wide. On my monitor, which is not that large, it is fine. Is anyone else having problems with this?
I completely understand the neurolyme aspect. It affects me, too.
If it's a problem I will make a change, but I see nothing to fix here.
Also, I have tried unsuccessfully to use tinyurl in the past. I just use the tool on this site to write a title for links if they are long.
Thanks! Let me know if it's a problem for others and I'll gladly change it!
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
| IP: Logged |
1Bitten2XShy
Unregistered
posted
Looks normal to me as well...cannot see where it is wide anywhere.
IP: Logged |
just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
lymednva, It goes across my entire screen too but dont have to scroll back and forth. I am so puter dumb,,,does different size monitors treat it differently hence small monitors have to scroll big ones NOT??
Also was wondering,while talking monitors,,,is the large flat screen monitors easier to read for failing eyesight!!??? Larger size screen equal larger print???.
I bought a larger size monitor way back when like 10-12 years ago,,,but ancient NOW compared to today!!
I agree scrolling back and forth to read a long thread,I usually SOB. But make a multitude of errors typing in that message box cause it is MUCH smaller ,,,,to find out I have to edit later cause I didnt see it at first!!being--just don--
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
too bad I couldn't just scoop you all up and instead of a lawyer my angry mob could fix everything. my ex would be a pile of sizzling dust and my kids would be on each lap with their arms around me.
if I were really evil I would get 100 dirty ticks and put them in his pillowcase. walk a mile in my shoes *******!!!
I know, I know, I need to be the better person, but it really did sound good for a minute.
Posts: 36 | From woburn,ma | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
bettyg
Unregistered
posted
questionn for those who didn't experience super-wide post like me.
i use LARGEST font to read; example, view, font, size LARGEST. do you folks use that also or LARGER? thanks.
i apologize for hijacking this thread; wasn't intentional!
IP: Logged |
Right click on an empty space on your desktop... Then click on properties..... Then click on the tab that says settings, all the way to the right...... Then where it says screen resolution, make sure the slider is moved to 800 by 600 pixels.
That is the res I use and I hardly ever need to increase my font size.
Steve
Posts: 406 | From Rhode Island | Registered: May 2007
| IP: Logged |
CaliforniaLyme
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 7136
posted
Cheryl!*)!!! Just hang in there!!! Your ex sounds like a real sweetheart! (NOT!)
Divorce is hard enough without those kind of shenanigans!!! What a jerk!!!
I am glad you have your sister!! Best wishes, Sarah
-------------------- There is no wealth but life. -John Ruskin
All truth goes through 3 stages: first it is ridiculed: then it is violently opposed: finally it is accepted as self evident. - Schopenhauer Posts: 5639 | From Aptos CA USA | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Sounds like your "husband" needs a reality check. among a few other things....
I also will be keeping you in my prayers.
I agree you REALLY do need a good family lawyer.
Please try to be there for them as much as possible and in a positive way. Dont try to talk bad about whats happening they already know.
I have a husband and a ex both who havent always treated us (me and the kids) very well. My 8 year old recently told my "Husband" point blank
"Dad you need to respect my mom like you respect you mom." Wow! I wanted to go and hug him for all it was worth!!!!
You didnt say how old your kids are but rest assured kids are resilient (?) and they are NOT dumb. They will see whats going on and will make their own decisions.
These are bad times but they will get better and you will have a place to live it may not be the ritz but a place to call your own.
I will be keeping you and your kids in prayer and I hope to hear good news soon.
You know it is the season for MIRICLES.
Take care Beth
Posts: 33 | From Clearfield, Pa | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged |
tdtid
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10276
posted
Holy Smokes!!!!!
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Lyme alone is bad enough but to have something like this going on at the same time...I can't even imagine.
But yes...sounds like you need a darn good lawyer and hopefully can put his insanity to rest. I'm very sorry you are having to go through this.
Cathy
-------------------- "To Dream The Impossible Dream" Man of La Mancha Posts: 2638 | From New Hampshire | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
It sounds like your husband left more over an affair than your health. I hate to say that or throw that out there, but its been done to me as well in the past and all the signs were there, even down to how their attitudes suddenly change and YOU are the bad guy, to lessen their guilt that is.
Honestly, if I were you ( and I have been, unfortunately), I would immediately start calling the local Bar Association. They have pro bono programs THERE and can get you signed up for one asap.
You are ENTITLED TO alimony pendente lite ( means pending litigation) whether he left you or you left him, or whatever the case may be. in some jurisdictions, you can also sue the other woman. Just throwing that out there . And, you can get an order that he not take you off of insurance.
Right now, he has defied just about every equitable distribution law out there. You are ENTITLED to half the sale of that damn home, whether he likes it or not. But in order to GET it,
SEE A LAWYER. ASAP. Call the local bar association.
I've been there. I can truly, truly sympathize with you.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
Boston College Legal Assistance Bureau 24 Crescent Street Suite 202 Waltham, MA 02153 Alan Minuskin Director (781) 893-4793 This branch office of Greater Boston Legal Services is a clinical program of Boston College Law School. The Bureau offers legal services in the areas of landlord-tenant, government benefits, elderly, consumer, family law, CHINS, special education and mental health law.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
Probono organizations
Committee for Public Counsel Services (CPCS) 44 Bromfield Street Boston, MA 02108 Denise M. Regan Deputy Chief Counsel (617) 482-6212 www.mass.gov/cpcs CPCS is the agency that provides criminal defense legal representation to indigent persons. This is the Public Defender Office in Massachusetts. Children and Family Law and Mental Health Litigation units as well.
Committee for Public Counsel Services (CPCS) - Children and Family Law Program 44 Bromfield Street Boston, MA 02108 (617) 482-6212 www.mass.gov/cpcs Overview - Committee for Public Counsel Services
Committee for Public Counsel Services - The Appellate Division 44 Bromfield Street, 5th Floor Boston, MA 02108 Brownlow M. Speer, Esq. Supervising Attorney (617) 482-6212 www.mass.gov/cpcs
Boston College Legal Assistance Bureau 24 Crescent Street Suite 202 Waltham, MA 02153 Alan Minuskin Director (781) 893-4793 This branch office of Greater Boston Legal Services is a clinical program of Boston College Law School. The Bureau offers legal services in the areas of landlord-tenant, government benefits, elderly, consumer, family law, CHINS, special education and mental health law.
Cambridge and Somerville Legal Services (CSLS) 60 Gore Street, Suite 3 Cambridge, MA 02141 Donna McCormick Manager (617) 603-2700 www.gbls.org CSLS is a branch office of Greater Boston Legal Services. The office represents low-income clients in a variety of legal specialties including housing, public benefits, elderly, family law, immigration and mental health/disability rights and children's healthcare.
Center for Public Representation (CPR) 22 Green Street Northampton, MA 01060 Steven Schwartz, Esq. Executive Director (413) 587-6265 www.centerforpublicrep.org CPR is a nonprofit public interest law firm pursuing civil rights cases, especially for the mentally ill. There is another office located at 246 Walnut Street, Newton, MA 02160
Community Legal Services and Counseling Center 1 West Street Cambridge, MA 02139 Leslee Klein Legal Director (617) 661-1010 www.clsacc.org This legal services office offers counseling and legal representation for matters including housing and homelessness, family law, benefits, and political asylum.
Disability Law Center 11 Beacon Street Suite 925 Boston, MA 02108 Christine Griffin, Esq. Executive Director (617) 723-8455 or 800-381-0577 TTY (617) 227-9464 FAX (617) 723-9125 www.dlc-ma.org The Disability Law Center provides free legal representation to under served or indigent disabled clients in cases of discrimination in employment, housing, education, access, public accommodations and government benefits.
Greater Boston Legal Services 197 Friend Street Boston, MA 02114 Sonna Marquez Executive Director (617) 371-1234 www.gbls.org This large legal services organization has many offices and many units across the Boston area. Units: Asian Outreach Unit Elderly Unit Employment Unit Family Unit Housing Unit Health Unit Immigration Medicare Advocacy Project Middlesex Domestic Violence Advocacy Project Unit Welfare Unit For more detailed information see a Career Services counselor.
Hale and Dorr Legal Services Center 122 Boylston Street Jamaica Plain, MA 02130 Cheryl Burg Rusk Hiring Contact (617) 522-3003 The Legal Services Center is a legal services office serving low-income clients. The Center also serves as a clinical program for Harvard Law School students.
.
Harvard Legal Aid Bureau 1587 Massachusetts Ave., Baker House Cambridge, MA 02138 Susana Arteta Administrative Director (617) 495-4408 www.law.harvard.edu/students/orgs/hlab This clinical program of Harvard Law School represents indigent clients in matters of government benefits, housing, family and elder law and HIV issues.
Legal Advocacy and Resource Center (LARC) 197 Friend Street Boston, MA 02114 Jessica Ladd, Esq. Executive Director (617) 371-1123 The Center is the primary legal services screening agency for low-income people in Massachusetts. It provides self-help assistance, operates a hotline and refers low-income people to other agencies.
Legal Assistance Corporation of Central Massachusetts (LACCM) 405 Main Street, 4th Floor Worcester, MA 01608 Robert Nasdor, Esq. Executive Director (508) 752-3718 http://www.livejustice.org/ LACCM offers representation to low-income clients in matters of family law, landlord-tenant, benefits, elderly law, and Medicare advocacy.
Legal Services for Cape Cod and the Islands (LSCCI) 460 West Main Street Hyannis, MA 02601 Raymond Yox, Esq. Executive Director (508) 775-7020 or (800) 742-4107 www.lscci.org LSCCI provides legal representation for indigent clients in housing, benefits, family law, elderly law, education and domestic violence.
Neighborhood Legal Services (NLS) 37 Friend Street Lynn, MA 01902 Ross M. Doloff, Esq. Director (781) 599-7730 or 800-747-5056 www.neighborhoodlaw.org NLS specializes in housing, welfare, disability, elder and family law as well as community economic development.
New Center for Legal Advocacy (NCLA) 257 Union Street New Bedford, MA 02740 Richard McMahon, Esq. Executive Director (508)979-7160 www.ncla.net The office specializes in family law with a primary focus on domestic violence. The office also serves as a phone intake and referral source for Southeastern Massachusetts.
South Middlesex Legal Services (SMLS) 354 Waverly Street Framingham, MA 01702 Nancy King, Esq. Executive Director (508) 620-1830 www.smlegal.org SMLS provides legal assistance to low-income clients needing representation in matters such as housing, family law, benefits, employment and consumer law.
Southeastern Massachusetts Legal Assistance Corporation (SEMLAC) 22 Bedford Street Fall River, MA 02720 Michael Alexander, Esq. Director (508) 676-2124 SEMLAC serves indigent clients in matters of government benefits, family law, bankruptcy and health issues. There are branch offices with a separate managing attorney in New Bedford, Brockton and Fall River.
Volunteer Lawyers Project 29 Temple Place Boston, MA 02111 Meg Connolly, Esq. Executive Director (617) 423-0648 www.vlpnet.org The Project is a division of the Boston Bar Association and provides advocacy, individual litigation services and public education in the areas of housing, family, consumer, government benefits and elder law.
Western Massachusetts Legal Services, Inc. (WMLS) 127 State Street Springfield, MA 01103 Andrew Steinberg, Esq. Executive Director (413) 781-7814 www.wmls.org WMLS provides legal services to indigent clients in such matters as housing, elder law, government benefits, family law, disability law and landlord-tenant.
Western Massachusetts Volunteer Lawyers Service 57 Suffolk St. Suite 401 Holyoke, MA 01040 Pat Walsh, Coordinato (413) 533-2660 The program's goal is to use all resources to provide effective legal assistance to low -ncome residents of western Massachusetts.
Worcester County Bar Association 19 Norwich Street Worcester, MA 01608 Elizabeth W. More President (508) 752-1311 www.worcestercountybar.org Areas of Practice: BAR
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
you guys are awesome!!! tahnk you sooo much. I feel even empowered a little.
where just a week aga I felt so alone, now I have so much information and encouragement.
all this work is keeping my mind off the pain I feel in my heart. its not having my children that feels so crushing.
although a 13 year marriage is over I'm glad to be rid of him if he's capable of doing these horrible things to me.
I now believe my x had a girlfriend for awhile as well. I first thought he was out at bars to drink like he wanted, and couldn't bear to see me suffer.(obviously not) apparently he wasn't drinking alone. and doing more than drinking. ick! I wonder what kind of story he told this woman. maybe why he pulling so much on me. probably needs to back up his story to keep his lies up.
--oh poor baby, your wife is too sick to have "marital relations" with a falling down drunk.
I was a great wife. he was spoiled rotten for several years. I always stuck by him through his battles with alcoholism.
I understood its a disease and he was just sick. I was there to support him and love him always.
I expected to get the same in return. I wonder how he sleeps at night. how can he live with himelf?
I helped him get sober when he relapsed a few times before. so sorry this time I was taking care of my own life for a change. lyme was taking it away. this is NOT my fault he couldn't step up. he's weak!!
that's that, just something else I just need to accept I guess. I know if I stay on the right track I will be ok. I won't let this destroy me. I deserve better.
I had an appointment with psychiatrist today and it went well. told me it was ok to be sad and I will go through all the feeling of loss but considering all my issues she feels I'm doing well.
anyone, even a very healthy woman would have a hard time dealing with all this mess. a lot turn to unhealthy behavior to deal with stuff and that only makes things worse.
told me to give myself some credit. I'm going to be depressed of course but I'm getting the help I need.
glad I'm honest about the suicidal preoccupation I had. honestly things are harder but being without my kids right now has made me aware how much they need their mom
I don't want to be the reason they feel this kind of loss. I won't bash their dad to them or let this stuff overshadow our time together.
I'm going to show them instead how to overcome lifes hard times. I can use this to be a good example to them.
my mom and friends were making a lot of calls today. my kids are NOT going to be with him long, I promise.
I know if I keep myself together, I cope and handle this situation without falling to pieces, it will only help prove my case. I just need to remember that.
I'm going to be the mom that won't let my kids down. no matter what.
I can't be all sorry for myself. won't be productive I know.
I hope nothing like this ever happens to anyone else. I should write a book when this is all over. no wonder there's so many lifetime movie.s, lol. I wish it was just a story for sure but you can't make this kind of stuff up!! --cheryl
Posts: 36 | From woburn,ma | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[bonk]](graemlins/bonk.gif)
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic