posted
Ah, today has been a semi bad day. My neck and arm is killing me and I just want to go to bed.
I am now sleeping 10-12 hours a night. I cannot explain to my boyfriend enough how tired I am. He doesnt understand how I can be so tired! Sometimes I just want to change bodies with him so he can feel what it feels like.
Does anyone feel like isolating themselves at times? I am a huge social butterfly but lately I dont even want to talk on the phone. If anything I will txt. I get so irriatble with people. I have lost my patience with my two little ones more lately. That makes me feel like crap!! I dont want to go out or anything. I have turned into a home body!!
As I mentioned in a post before, tommorow is my appointment. As the day approcahes an end, I get more scared. I dont know if I am more nervous about finding out the truth or them not finding a damn thing wrong with me.
After talking to my mother, she told me (which I somewhat remeber) being very sick and dxd with mono. Could it be possible I really was sick with lyme and the neuro symptoms and cardio are now just flaring up?
I havent been able to hold back tears today. I am an emtional basket case. At times I just want to curl up in someones lap as they play with my hair and tell me things are going to be ok.
Sorry, I am whining!! This too shall pass!!
Posts: 171 | From the land of oz | Registered: Feb 2009
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Isolation is common feeling when one is feeling so ill. It takes so much energy to socialize and try to be who you used to be.
I can remember all the times I was only able to dig down deep enough for the children only, that's grandchildren. So the children would go home.
I really don't know how some mother's do it on this support group. Especially those ill and their children are ill also.
Dig in and try to find enough strength for the children. All other relationships will just have to wait.
You can't make someone understand the fatigue that they have never experienced. They don't understand a fatigue that isn't fixed by sleeping it off.
This illness is not only physical. It is emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining, many up and downs and seems endless.
Hang in there. Maybe the doc will have something to help. Something I had to learn from this is PATIENCE and it's meaning. It's hard, I know.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
It takes alot of energy to socialize. If you're running on empty already cut yourself some slack.
Even now if I'm busy most of the day it takes me the next to recover.
Energy issues are one of the symptoms of Lyme.
I started HGH injections about 5 months ago and am still looking into improving my own lack of energy.
Like Map said, hang in there!
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6137 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Thank you to the both of you for your responses. Along with everyone else here, I am just not used to feeling this drained. I used to be so full of energy. I feel like I am hungover at times. Geez, being hungover felt better than this.
I still have good days though so I cannot complain too much.
Yes, I am digging as deep as I can. I did manage to muster up enough energy to play tackle football with them the other day. Other times, we try to take it easy and play memory or some other kind of board game.
I havent been to doc yet so I am not telling them anything until I know for sure. They know I have been to the hospital but thats about it. Well that and I sleep alot.
Thank you again for the encouraging words. I needed that!
Posts: 171 | From the land of oz | Registered: Feb 2009
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Jaimie, tackle football??? I didn't mean to dig that deep. OMG Board games and less physical stuff would be more like it. lol
If you are playing physical, you are trying to go too hard, IMHO. I know you are probably quite younger than me, but geez girl, easy does it.
Thanks for the laugh.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Ha, first I was talking about tackle football then pole dancing!!
Yes, I am trying to do the same stuff with my kids as I used too. I guess I am scared that they will start notcing that energetic momma has lost her boost.
I fear that this year I will not be able to paddle my canoe down the river ten miles by myself. I probably should start accepting applications for an experienced paddler to be my co poilet, HAHA.
Posts: 171 | From the land of oz | Registered: Feb 2009
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