posted
i managed to shower and was steps from checking myself into the e.r.; not that they could help with this disease, but get my head out of this body. i know i have posted positive updates before; i'm sorry for unloading...i can't do this anymore..the pain, the fatigue..11 years of my life fighting. i don't know how to live with this; to be 'ok' with it. i feel so alone and like i have nowhere to turn...someone please help.
Posts: 588 | From Wallingford, CT USA | Registered: Sep 2003
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IckyTicky
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 21466
posted
Hang in there. I have to remind myself to live for the good days and keep positive that the future will hold better times. I get sunk into that very depression and have felt the way you feel right now. I've had this disease 22 years at the very least and I know the pain and fatigue and loneliness and helpless feeling. Take it a day at a time, or an hour at a time.. whatever gets you through.
For me personally, my faith gets me through the toughest of times. *hugs*
-------------------- IGM: 18+, 23+, 30+, 31+++, 34+, 39IND, 41++, 58+++, 66+, 83-93IND IGG: 31+, 39IND, 41+ Also positive for Mycoplasma Pneumoniae and RMSF. Whole family of 5 dx with Lyme. Posts: 1014 | From Texas | Registered: Jul 2009
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
lifewithlyme,
I am so sorry that you feel so despondent and sick.
There really is hope. It is very possible to get better.
PLEASE, PLEASE...right now....go to the phone and call....
1-800-784-2433
It's the National Suicide hotline.
Or call 1-800-273-8255
It is the Suicide Prevention Lifeline
We understand your pain and sadness.
You need someone to help you through this terrible depression.
Do you have a psych Dr? If so, please call them IMMEDIATELY!!!
Are you on an antidepressant?
I know that when a person is so depressed they may not even have the strength to make the effort of a phone call...but it is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY that you call for help.
Many people have also been in your position and they made it through it.
Can you call a spiritual leader/pastor/priest to come and visit you and counsel you to give you hope?
PLEASE DO NOT harm yourself.
CALL FOR HELP NOW!!!!
I am praying really hard for you!
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Hi - I agree about calling the hotline to talk with someone.
My opinion is, anything we can do to get somewhere is worth trying - are you treating now? Is it helping? If not, maybe it's time to try something else.
I think it's a matter of finding out what treatment is going to help us, and that's a search. If you can find something that will help, it will be easier to live through this.
And anything we can find to alleviate symptoms is important too - anything to take the discomfort down.
And to have people to talk to, and not be isolated. So many of us are going through this experience. To be able to find out what people are doing to make it more bearable is really important.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
OK Life with lyme....I am sending my imaginary limo and driver over.
He will have people with him to stock your shelves with food, clean your house, do yard work, etc.
While you are away on your imaginary lyme free vacation.
All expenses paid.
Where would you like to go??
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
Please know that your not alone in this battle. Even though we can't see each other we can all feel your pain.
I truly think the fear of the unknown is what causes our depression. We don't know what symptoms are from what, we are sometimes unsure we are treating the right thing, we don't know when we will get better.
It's very hard on us emotionally to deal with this. You have to let yourself know that it is okay to be sad and angry that we have to deal with this.
I have been down this path many times and somehow I always am able to pull myself back.
There will be wellness in your future. I just had the best year since 1996. I didn't have one symptom. I was off of all meds. I had a life again.
I am currently having some sort of relapse but I just keep telling myself good days will come again.
You truly need to reach out to someone right now to help carry you through this difficult and uncertain time.
If you don't have a good support system please call the hot lines from the above post.
If you feel like you have just given up and are having bad thoughts please call 911.
Don't give up on yourself. You will get through this. I know it seems never ending after all these years but there will be a light at the end of your tunnel.
dmc
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5102
posted
Okay, BIG sometimes help when we feel we are
sending you a warm hug
Posts: 2675 | From ct, usa | Registered: Jan 2004
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
I have totally been there, so close to calling life quits.
I am so glad I didnt. IF you need to go to the ER they will keep you safe. Thats what I did once.
you are not alone. We are here for you. please keep talking to us.
hugs, melissa
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
Life,
Please call your doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling.
There is much that can be done to help you through this rough patch.
Hang in there.
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
I called my llmd and unfortunately am still waiting for a call back; he sucks for this; unreachable unless i'm in front of him. but i did reach out and talk to some people who talked me down; and of course reading these responses makes me believe in the power of the human spirit; at least in others. thank you so much for reaching out. and kam, anywhere but here. anywhere.
Posts: 588 | From Wallingford, CT USA | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Hang in there, lifewithlyme. It's a tough battle. I hope your LLMD has some answers. Eleven years is a long time, you have a right to your feelings, but please, don't let yourself be in danger ... go to the er or call the hotline if you need to.
Have you been doing the same treatments for 11 years? Maybe it's time to try something different. There might be more hope in something new.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Thanks so much for all of your replies. I am in a better place today, and I'm starting talk therapy next week. I am on 2 antideps.; Cymbalta and Lexapro. Although I feel the Cybalta is useless and need to change it (not eliminate it, judging by how hopeless i've felt lately.) I have lyme and Babesia; i failed to mention i was on mep/zith up until this past monday. i firmly believe in the 'mepron blues'. Thanks so much again. Sarah
Posts: 588 | From Wallingford, CT USA | Registered: Sep 2003
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
Thinking about you right now and praying that the depression will lift. Like you mentioned Sara, could be that Mepron.
Hang in there!
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6139 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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