posted
No question here, I'm just annoyed with myself because I no longer feel that others can rely on me, nor do I feel as though I can rely on myself.
I go from relatively OK to "down and out" with little warning and no stop in between. I'm over a year into treatment, but still haven't developed skills to cope with this wild ride.
Posts: 455 | From Was in PA, then MD, now in the Midwest | Registered: Nov 2008
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
my husband once described living with me as "between a circus and a volcano"...
so i understand completely. i can go from normal to witch in less than 60 seconds.....
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
That's how I was, but I'm not anymore. I can sustain momentum in terms of physical energy and I have a fairly even keel disposition, and believe me that is a BIG change. I had major nap urgency (having to go to sleep that minute), major mood swings, nastiness, depression, physical fatigue.
So, there is hope, you won't always be there and it's so much better if you can recognize your own limits. I had to quit many boards I was serving on, and cut way back on my caseload for work. Now, I'm slowly building up again.
Posts: 524 | From Hudson Valley, NY | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I know exactly how you feel. Many days I arrive at work and I feel uncomfortable but bearable and half way through the day I'm have waves of confusion where I'm not really sure what's going on, dizzy spells where my boyfriend has to come drive me home, or pain that's so crippling I can't continue to work . It's incredibly difficult because unfortunately most people and workplaces are not understanding.
Leelee
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19112
posted
Gosh, I have described myself as unreliable and unpredictable so many times.
I hate being this way too.
-------------------- The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. Martin Luther King,Jr Posts: 1573 | From Maryland | Registered: Feb 2009
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posted
Boy, this sounds so much like me. There are days that I feel "ok" but just a short time into the work day I start feeling myself "running" down.
By the time I've worked 3 days in a row I am pretty much "done" for the week.
With the holidays we've been extremely busy at work but now that it is over perhaps we'll slow down some.
I am thankful that I am at least able to work a few days during the week but I really hate, as ya'll have described, being unreliable.
Even though I want to volunteer (use to a lot) I NEVER know I am gonna feel from one day to the next.---heck sometimes I don't know how I'm gonna feel from the am to the pm.
I've had to drop my bible study, and school and even though I want to do things I can never commit... and I find myself always saying if there is something I want to do...tomorrow, well maybe tomorrow.
All in all, though I still try to be thankful for what I have...some "ok" days.. maybe not as achy, not as bad a headche etc....
I used to say...I want my life back...now I realize that "my life" is probably not ever gonna be what it used to be but sometimes we have to go with what we have and make the best of it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT giving up...just learning to try to live within my limits.
I am just SO thankful I have my faith (and my LLMD) lol
Good luck to everyone and God Bless.
Karen (:
Posts: 423 | From Virginia | Registered: Nov 2009
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