posted
I am still not off meds, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
On the one hand I am so elated about this that sometimes nothing else matters, but there is that pesky little place I live called reality.
I know that every time I pot a new topic it's usually to complain about something.
Well, this time it's no different, kind of. You see, it's like this:
During my treatment, it became apparent that I was never going to "have my life back", as was my goal.
Yes, I would get my health back, I was sure of that. Turns out, there would be a price to pay.
Excuse me if I'm beginning to sound bitter.
The thing is, probably the biggest influence on my recent jump to this plateau in my treatment -and it was a big jump- is the fact that I have given up the career I love.
The thing is, it's the only thing I am qualified to do. Unless you include volunteer work- I'm very good at that.
I'm also kind of angry because church is very uncomfortable for me (physically). Now that I've stopped working I can go to church, but my children have been affected by the fact that I haven't gone while they "had to".
I interpreted the whole thing to mean that I had to make a choice between my job and my God. Well, both things take care of the children He entrusted to my care, so I have trouble with this.
...And that's something I have always loved to do. I resent that it was taken away from me and that this is the condition on which I am being given back this privilege.
Posts: 797 | From New York | Registered: Feb 2008
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
carly,
I am so delighted that you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!
I understand what you are saying.
We aren't always able to see God's plan for us right now.
With time, it will become apparent.
Continue your faithfulness to God and He will never leave you.
You know that saying...When one door closes, another one opens...
I will pray for you...that all things work out.
Psalm 143:8 (NIV)
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Thanks, Dekrator! Your words of wisdom and encouragement are appreciated.
However, my faith is certainly shaken. I know that door has closed, but I don't know where that window is. I am even doubting that it will open.
I'm a little bitter about this whole thing.
~~And that is so NOT ME~~
I am just a sweet person. Ask anyone. At least that's what everyone says to my face I never ask for more than "my share", I'm always willing to give of myself, my time, my talents, etc. to help anyone who needs it.
This isn't the first time in my life I've been disappointed. It's just that this time, it feels like this is the straw that has broken the camel's back.
Lately I just keep reminding myself, "swing, Merrill, swing!" (from the movie (and book?) "Signs")
Posts: 797 | From New York | Registered: Feb 2008
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