Topic: I've decided on a 2 week medical leave from work.
Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
I just can't do it anymore. I'm spent, totally. My mind & body are at overload. I work in mental health, crisis services, & I loved my job. Right now I don't.
The anxiety level in me is so high, my paranoia symptoms so strong, & my own feeling of insecurity is making me unable to function. It's hard enough going in to work & dealing with high drama. But now, they are putting me in case management part of the time. It's just information overload.
I've been discussing the possibility with my supervisor. The whole team is aware of the situation. Everyone is being supportive, but my suspiciousness is so high, I feel like they are all putting on a front. I'm on the edge of tears half the time with my own feeling of inadequacy, even though I've been told my job is not in danger. I just worked so hard to get there, in the mental health helping profession....
My LLMD is faxing a copy of the recommendation for 2 weeks leave. That's all the sick/PTO time I have. I hope & pray it will be enought time to get over the hump, though I'll be increasing my dose of Flagyl over this time.
I'm continuing intensive Chiropractic rehabilitation. My neck had lost 80% of it's curvature. I'll recieve intense physical therapy at the Chiro office & the tools to use at home. I read Dr. Jernigan's book about healing from LYme & it's along the same concept as this chiroprator, who enforces the Maximized Living program.
I need prayers...I'm just spent here. My spunk is spunked out, my enthusiasm waned. I will fear not!
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
I hope you get some rest during your time off and feel better, or at least find it easier to cope with your symptoms.
The paranoia and suspicion can be part of the anxiety and emotional symptoms of Lyme. I had three episodes already where I decided that various friends and relatives suddenly hated me for no apparent reason. Then I woke up the next day, and they didn't.
Maybe you are lucky to work in the mental health field--perhaps your boss and coworkers are more knowledgeable and understanding about the mental symptoms from this disease.
Just hang in there, and do NOT give up. I almost did last week, but it was just a herx and now I'm fine. Wily Lyme bugs tried to make me stop fighting them by making me want to give up.
Two weeks is not a lot, in Lyme time. I have been sick for almost 15 months now, so I wonder what good it would do me to have a week or two off, when I probably need months or longer, and can't have it.
However, I think we are resilient like rubber bands. The physical and mental stress of the illness pushes you so far, and if you can get a break now and then, you can let the rubber band relax again, and then you can handle the next round a lot easier. So I do think your two weeks would be worth it.
Also, you are more likely to have bad herxes at the beginning of treatment than later on, so there's no need to save your leave in case you get worse.
Good luck to you, and hang in there. You WILL get better.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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posted
I will be thinking of you....good luck, and much rest in the next two weeks!!!
Posts: 893 | From Florida | Registered: Dec 2008
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
I will say this, and not to be negative; but I don't think 2 weeks is really going to make a difference. 2 weeks in the life of lyme is like 2 seconds in the life of some other illness.
My suggestion........take those 2 weeks and just use one day a week for 10 weeks and just work 4 days a week vs 5, since you don't have any more time to take off. Like maybe work 2 days, take off Wed's and rest, then work 2 days, then have the weekend to rest again. Thats what I would try and do, if your work will let you.
If you take 2 weeks off, you will still feel just as crappy at the end of the 2 weeks. I say this only because I know from experience. I have been treating LD for over 2 years now.
I took off 3 months short term disability expecting I would rest and feel so much better in 3 months. That was almost 4 years ago.
I was not treating during that time; but even after I started treating LD, I can assure you that 2 weeks would not have made a dent.
I think if you feel that you have no choice but to work, that taking a day off each week would be a better benefit than using all your days up at one time. Resting for 2 weeks with LD literally will not change how you feel.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
This must be such a difficult decision for you.
I really agonized over the balance between work and my health. I'm sure you know, we're all different and experience treatment differently.
I'd like to share my experience, for what it's worth. Your mileage may vary.
I reached a point where I could not function professionally at a level that I found to be acceptable.
I was full of guilt caused by trying to cover up my problems. I was sneaking in late and out early. O
ften at work my energy was wasted, I couldn't think well enough to perform. Instead, all of my energy went into keeping up appearances. The good 'ol "fake it until you can make it" approach. But it was all fake, no make.
I was terrified to "give in" to the disease, and was so worried that if I adjusted my workload in any way, it would be irreversible and I would never come back.
I kept agonizing over what to do, until I realized my health had already made the decision for me, and I had to make a change.
The final straw for me came at a professional conference at which I was presenting. I carried out all of the original work in the presentation, and had given the identical presentation to a different audience months earlier.
But I was so tired and had so much "brain fog" that mid-way through my talk I just lost track, and staring at my own slides felt hopelessly lost.
Immediately upon my return home, I got the ball rolling to change my status from full to part time. Thankfully, I was able to afford my basics on the reduced salary, and was able to keep some benefits to cover some costs like prescriptions.
Once I was working less, it was much easier for me to rest and relax, endure treatment, exercise, and eat well. I spent about a year at part time, and I believe it was critical to my getting over "the hump" in treatment.
I have since returned to full time. Not only that, but I also took on a new position that I acquired competitively. (Of course, I kept my part-time stint and illness to myself while applying!) So my fear of never getting back to work was invalid.
Work is still a huge struggle for me, but I'm back at it, and (somehow?) seem to fool people into thinking that I'm well.
Again, I believe that taking steps to reduce my workload during treatment made my eventual return to full time, and to a new job, possible. So while it was a huge blow to my self-esteem to go part-time, it was both necessary and worthwhile.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope that your health and career both get back on track soon.
Posts: 455 | From Was in PA, then MD, now in the Midwest | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
I worked full time, then I reduced my days to 4 days a week, and I still couldn't work that much.
I took Short Term Disability hoping to go back to work. But, after 20 years of lyme and pushing myself, I just couldn't do it anymore.
Thankfully, my husband works and we still have insurance and we can make it, it is hard because I worked so hard to get to the position I was in, but I knew for me, I just couldn't work anymore.
Posts: 893 | From Florida | Registered: Dec 2008
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lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
I felt a lot like what you described during the end of my teaching career. I took a few days off to rest up and never went back full-time. Even part-time did me in.
I hope this goes better for you. I am more active now, but I still pick and choose my activities and get regular rest (daily, eyes closed, quiet, shades drawn.
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
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good luck to you......i called in sick in september last year just couldnt keep going and have never been able to return, now I dont have a job to return too......i do think reducing you rhours is the best way to go right now.......i kept thinking I'll be better next week and next week never came.......
-------------------- Oct 09 Positive CDC Western Blot Jan 10 Positive Babesia Duncani Jan 10 Cd57 28 Mar 10 EBV, IgM, IgG HHV-6 IgG Posts: 739 | From NC | Registered: Oct 2009
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
It's official. I am off work for 2 weeks. I cannot go on like this. It's not all about the fatigue. It's the brain fog, the forgetting something the moment after, short term memory retrieval. Everyone has noticed. I'm so paranoid. I'm seeing a new to get me started on some meds. What my supervisor told me is that she is seeing anxiety in me, not so much depression. She's a LMSW. I agree 100%.
The deal is that they have us working 12 hour shifts. Now they want an even later hour....changing from 7am to 7pm to 8am to 8pm. The work schedule goes like this: work 2 days, off 2 days, work 3 days, off 2 days, work 2 days, off 3 days. Twelve hour sshifts. It rotates like that where we get every other Fri/Sa/Sun off. But it's too hard now.
We've discussed a cut back schedule, but it's not possible. We discussed cutting me to 8 hour work days but I'd probablly have to work every weekend, which means no grandmother time & interference with church. She said they could be flexible. The stickler is that now we have to do case management which requires much, much more. When it was crisis only, we would just wait for the next call to come i. So in between time was not hard.
They've been good so far. I didn't even go in until almost 1pm today, worked straight thru til 7pm. I was beat....had a crisis call at the end that was a doozy. Plus trying to get the progress notes in from the day before.
I can't quit. We couldn't make it on my husbands salary, plus I'd lose insurance. I'm just going to have to try best I can & pray that my cognitive function improves. Remember, I've only had Lyme a very short time...3 1/2 months. I'm told the faster it's caught, the sooner I'll get better. I just hope 7 pray this short rest will help me. And the psych meds.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
Bless you, and I hope the rest is helpful. That schedule sounds brutal.
I know I would be better off to take a break, but it's completely impossible. If I become literally unable to force myself to work, I do not have a plan for how I would survive that at all, much less afford to continue treatment and good diet. Sometimes we just have to hang on and have faith, and take one day at a time.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
Thank you LightAttheEnd for your encouragement.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
I wanted to thank you gys for responding & sharing your input in dealing with Lyme. I just got the final word today that they are increasing our work load, plus, I'll be working til 8pm at night. The change just adds another hour, since we never went in before 8 anyway. I'm going to have to do what Wonko above did...sneak in late, etc. I have no choice. The good thing is that I'll work in the field mostly, so they won't require me to show my face in the office daily. I'll be seeing clients outside the office, taking them places, working on life skills, etc..(case management, which I don't enjoy) I'll have to take advantage of the situation....if I get tired during the day, I'll go lay down an hour at my Dad's house. I'll just stop at my chiropractic treatments in between clients & the same with workouts. I firmly believe we've got to excercise..even if I only go around the circuit once. I've got to try.....that's all I can do. God forgive me for my dishonesty......But 8pm is too late, especially when I live 30 miles from my major work area, takes me 30 minutes to get home! It's too much.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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I had a mental health professional interview me once at an ER. I believe she has or had Lyme Disease.
Why?
When she came back in the room, and said that my Lyme doctor is great and so is the doctor he was trained by (mentioned both names).
Maybe that was you. Or a coworker? Ha, just kidding... well, maybe not. You never know. I am further south anyways.
Hope you feel better with your 2 weeks off. Posts: 967 | From A deserted island without internet access | Registered: Sep 2009
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
kday: Actually, it could have been me, but I'd remember it. That's what I do; get summoned to the ER when someone is suicidal or psychotic. Make an assessment & a recommendation.
When I'm in the ER's, I ask losts of questions from mainly the nurses. They don't know squat about LYme other then what they learned in school, which is the 'good ole boys' side.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
Thanks everyone!
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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