posted
I see myself as compassionate, strong, loving and courageous.
Lately I am tired, angry, sad sarcastic.
I am easy to anger.
I am easy to judge.
I am just so darn tired and my house is a mess!
I don't have Lyme. But I do care for my teenage daughter who is bedbound and my dh who is also bed/house bound.
I try to make time for myself and relax.
I am so tired. Go to work. Come home. Clean house and cook, get up and do it all again. Oh yeah, try to figure out how to pay for treatment and stay in our house.
How do other's do it and be the person they used to be?
How do you manage to take care of yourself?
Thanks for letting me whine!
Posts: 333 | From Lyme Here Too | Registered: Mar 2010
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posted
I am exhausted trying to take care of myself, cook for myself and wash the dishes and go to several special stores for all the meds and organic food, and go to work so I can pay for it.
I don't even get around to the cleaning, except in the rare event that I have a really good day, and it's my day off.
I can't imagine having to do all that for TWO Lyme patients PLUS take care of yourself.
Being a caregiver is terribly exhausting. And on top of that, you have to watch your loved ones suffer. Personally I would rather suffer myself than watch someone else go through it.
You deserve applause and hugs. Some Lyme patients get far less help, and even abuse and hostility from their families. Kudos to you for being such a tremendous help and support to your family.
You need to try to get away by yourself to do things that make you happy or feel rested, and to forget about everything for a little while.
Have you ever tried yoga or meditation? I took yoga classes for several years, and learned something about how to relax and just be, in the moment you are in, in the middle of everything. I forget to use it most of the time, but when I remember and try it, it always helps.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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kidsgotlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23691
posted
Wow Optimist- great post!
lymemom-just know that you are not alone. I know that doesn't really help you in a tangible way, but it does help me to know that there are others out there who are going through the same things.
Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed. Life is just too darn hard sometimes to deal with. But finding that ONE thing that is just for you does make a difference.
I hope that you find some time for yourself soon. It sounds like you deserve it!
God bless.
-------------------- symptoms since 1993 that I can remember. 9/2018 diagnosed with Borellia, Babesia Duncani, and Bartonella Hensalae thru DNA Connections. Posts: 1470 | From Tennessee | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
Kellye, You are a brave and courageous person, just like those you care for. All of you have it very tough. I hope EVERYONE in your house is better VERY SOON!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Well I haven't figured it out yet either. I am always stressed above and beyond what I *think* I can handle.
Optimistic has some really good ideas. I haven't learned how to not see the clutter but I have to let it go because I just can't get to it right away. Sometimes I don't get to it for weeks or months. If/when necessary I do use bins to hide it. The problem is finding the bins afterwards
I am now a crisis-laundry doer. When no one has a towel or underwear or jeans I know laundry needs to be done. I was never like this but I have had to substantially lower my household standards because I am just too busy doing more important things that I didn't have to do in the past.
As for more suggestions...
===See if you can get your groceries delivered. This is becoming a huge trend in many parts of the country. You can shop online at whatever time and take advantage of sales you might otherwise miss. The savings outweighs the delivery charge and even the tip. You can pick a delivery date and time.
===When you are too tired to cook there is nothing wrong with giving the family cereal and fruit. Make sure you have plenty of go-tos for the family like sliced turkey breast from the deli, yogurt, mini carrots, washed fruit, granola bars. (Of course this depends on the diets). If your kids are old enough and up to it they can just get these things themselves. Make sure you have plenty of paper plates. The green in me tries to shun the plastic utensils and glasses but the real in me knows that sometimes these are warranted because of circumstance.
===If you do happen to have any friends or family members close by who are supportive ask them to watch the kids for a bit every so often or ask them to run an errand for you if they are passing by the store, post office etc.
===True friends and family don't keep track of help and don't expect you to do something in return. They don't regard helping out as "favors" that need to be returned. They help from the goodness of their hearts. They know that one day if and when you are able you will help them. They won't remember how many times they took your kid to soccer or picked up dry-cleaning. If you have anyone who is an eye for an eye type of person don't even bother asking for anything. It's not worth the stress.
===If you can afford it hire someone to clean the house and do the laundry. Even once a month would help. I should follow this advice myself
===If any of your kids are little see if there's an older girl in the neighborhood or from church or synagogue who can be a mother's helper for a few bucks.
===If one of your kids is semi-mobile ask him or her to do a couple of little things like putting clothes in the hamper, loading the dishwasher or folding towels. In addition to helping the household, the child will be doing something other than laying in bed and little chores are a form of exercise. Of course a bedbound kid cannot be expected to do any of these things.
===Try to get out even if it's only once a week for a half hour. Zone out reading something at the bookstore or walking around the mall just looking. When there are times you cannot get out at all zone out by watching some stupid tv show or playing a computer game.
===Try to avoid toxic people at all costs. You don't need this additional stress. If contact with a relative is a must have your husband take on the majority of it.
===Stop saying yes to things. Don't volunteer at school or church. Don't host holidays. Don't have houseguests. If people don't understand it's their problem.
===Don't worry about what ANYONE else thinks. What you go through everyday is something most people cannot even comprehend. Their opinions have nothing to do with your reality.
-------------------- You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
---Eleanor Roosevelt Posts: 748 | From somewhere | Registered: May 2010
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posted
Thanks everyone! Some really great ideas. I love the friends and family I have found here. It is so nice to be able to whine, ask questions and know that I am not alone. That other's have made it through what we're going through.
Thanks tons!
Posts: 333 | From Lyme Here Too | Registered: Mar 2010
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