I know lots of people that have said that they know beautiful people that are "ugly" to them now because that "beautiful person" turned out to be a mean, selfish and just horrible individual.
Self esteem should not be based on how we look on the outside, but who we are as people.
How good and kind and loving are we?
If you do nice things for people then you start to feel a lot better.
and remember, the rest of the world has different ideas about beauty.
Lots of people think overwieght people are gorgeous and hot!
I am not sure if this will help, but I tell myself this when I feel down about myself.
-------------------- I am not a doctor. I have no clue. Posts: 606 | From somewhere out there | Registered: Sep 2009
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- You get to learn this lesson sooner than others. Beauty is from your heart, your spirit, your interest in life and others. Look all around the world. Turn your back on those TV shows, magazines and other outlets that perpetuate a false idea of what beauty.
Even the models are not as they appear in magazine. THEY don't look like the retouched photos.
Focus on enjoying what you can in life. Enjoy, engage - instead of buying into a false sense of what your appearance is supposed to be. When you are engaged in life (even if that is curtailed due to health matters), you will develop a fuller sense of self.
Enjoy, engage & appreciate. That will bring a rich beauty of its own. Smile. Laugh.
Folk Alley - web streaming contemporary acoustic music - this place makes me feel better about the world. As I appreciate beauty, it spills over onto me.
========================
If you like art, find art links . . . some with nature, etc.
A Tai Chi class (or Qi Gong) may be excellent as it will help build inner strength that will glow from the inside out. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I don't know that it really is how I am seeing myself. It feels like it's the disease causing me to feel this way. I started feeling bad about myself before I looked like I was diseased. It is affecting my emotions and mind ---- and body --- so, it's like a triple whammy! Posts: 256 | From Texas | Registered: Jun 2010
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Yes in answer to your question about self esteem. I could add self confidence and fear too.
Our main job right now is to get well. That pretty much takes all we have...at least for the most part.
[ 10-03-2010, 12:48 PM: Message edited by: kam ]
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
Lyme has really messed up my thoughts and feelings too.
I get panic attacks, and have a tough time answering the phone.
I had constant anxiety, so I gave my self permission to get help by taking Cymbalta, which also helps with my pain and sleep issues.
I give myself permission for all kinds of things now.
That makes me feel better.
I didn't visit family tonight because I felt too crappy, and I decided not too worry about what they thought. I have to take care of myself.
I find that if I distract myself with good movies and t.v. shows, books, and this forum it helps alot.
I am trying to do a lot of research now that I am stuck in bed alot.
I try to use my imagination and creativity as much as possible, and I make plans for the future and dream.
I try to help others as much as I can.
The more volunteer work that I did before I was sick the better that I felt.
Joining a class, a club or something like that with other people also really helped me.
It was challenging and scary but I made so many friends who all really liked me. Wow , that was the best boost that I have ever had in my life.
This way I wasn't realiant on just one or two friends, but I had friends at church, at my classes, at the gym, at yoga, at the volunteering I did and at my jobs, plus my husband.
Make your community larger around you, force yourself to do that for your own mental health.
I felt like such a loser and terrified of people before I did that. The more I gave to others , the more I realized that others needed me as much as I needed them.
Now when I am bedridden , they stay in contact with me, but the amazing thing is that my self esteem isn't suffering.
But remember, I am getting extra help from meds.
What do you think? Does that make sense?
I also believe that God has a special purpose for me and I believe that I am very special to Him.
Which reminds me, I also listen to lots of Christian shows on t.v. since it is really tough for me to be part of a church right now.
I have heard that people with any type of religious faith live longer or recover more quickly or something like that.
I am so glad that you were honest with how you feel. That takes courage to admit. Now I think you just need to accept where you are at right now. You can't be anything more or less. You have no control.
I think it is tough to give up control of our life, but that is how we grow and mature.
Push yourself and keep telling yourself what is true. Don't believe any lies about yourself.
I am growing in this area too.
-------------------- I am not a doctor. I have no clue. Posts: 606 | From somewhere out there | Registered: Sep 2009
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posted
I love that you said you have a special purpose for God and that you are special to Him. It is true. Of all of us. And, yes, I believe that faith plays a big role in how well we heal. Or live. Or even the quality of our life.
Posts: 256 | From Texas | Registered: Jun 2010
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17hens
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23747
posted
I know what you mean, nellers. The stuff this disease does to our mind and emotions is worse than what it does to our bodies (MHO).
But don't give up and don't give in. Remind yourself that those negative thoughts you're having are from the disease, not from yourself, not from God. Remind yourself that all that negative stuff is a lie. You are beautiful inside and out.
When I look in the mirror, I see lots of stuff I don't like. But I force myself to focus on today, on fighting this disease, on recovery.
And when I'm done with that, then I'll focus on the stuff in the mirror. (For example, I'm feeling better the past few days so I got my hair cut today! Feels great! A real hair style, not just a mop.)
When you're feeling insecure about the double chin or the swollen ankles or whatever, remind yourself it's the disease. And whatever anyone else thinks about your double chin is crappola. (not saying you have one, just an example). If they only knew how strong you are to get thru this, to get thru each day, they would be in awe of you.
Take my mother's advice... she says, "Take life one day at a time, focus on today, and in this day take one step at a time. Focus on the step. That way you won't get overwhelmed."
Chin up, nellers. We love you and we see all kinds of beauty in you!
(and thanks for being brave enough to be honest with us. gave me a chance to give myself a pep talk!)
-------------------- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
bit 4/09, diagnosed 1/10 Posts: 3043 | From PA | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
They are. And it's the strangest thing to realize that a bacteria can cause me to think differently than I used to. But I am seeing that and working to give myself Grace too.
I think the hardest part for me is looking into the mirror and seeing the disease. I working to overcome that... to see me, not the bacteria. You know?
I love that you got your hair done! I bet it looks beautiful and made you feel fantastic.
Nell
PS The verse in your signature moved me so Posts: 256 | From Texas | Registered: Jun 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
my self esteem is just zero...
what with the problems at home and then comments from people about gaining weight and all.
seems in this world unless you're a size 2, you have absolutely no worth.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
Let me be blunt here. If you've been sick for many years and are unable to function even minimally, such as taking showers by yourself, being able to please a partner sexually or even hugging someone, then your self esteem is going to tank.
We usually define ourselves by what we are in relationship to people and events around us. Often the sickest among us can't even have a relationship with themselves because their mind is infected as badly as the rest of them. They can't think, they can't feel normally, they have almost zero control over every single thing in their life including themselves.
Yeah, if you've got self esteem through all that then you're a miracle who defies the laws of reality.
The reality is, Lyme Disease strips people of their basic dignity and depending on how sick they are, it strips them of their ability to even choose to be positive or be the captain of their soul.
So, hang in there. If you feel this way and you're crippled, just do your best to survive long enough to get to that place where you regain some control. Just that knowledge of the possibility of regaining control increases the probability that you will.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
posted
Oh, I love so much what's been written here!!! It is so helpful to not look at this darkest side of life alone. Thank you to all contributors.
Posts: 269 | From Germany | Registered: Jul 2009
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