tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
I am fortunate enough to work..about a 40 hours work week. I have FMLA and can take time when needed. Not working really is not an option for me. I am 25 and live with my boyfriend of 5.5 years. We have lived together before I was sick. we have lived together for 2 years.
He is great and supportive. My mother has a very busy job. Shes a VP at a major hospital. My father is not in the picture. Besides my boyfriend I have been navigating this whole lyme/vaccine thing myself.
I feel so alone as other proceed with their normal lifes. I just feel really alone in this whole journey.
My mom goes with me to Dr. appts. and she pays but she doesnt research the disease. I have printed her out stuff but she doesnt read it.
I just feel very alone today.
Maybe I can find a shrink who is covered under my insurance to talk to me out what I am going through...
i just feel sad
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
Hello, I can relate to you feelings of being alone and I feel that way sometimes even when I am around people. There are doctors who specialize in lyme specifically for emotional and mental support. If you are seeing a LLMD you might ask them for a recommendation. If possible, try to read for an escape. I am reading a book about visualization as an aid to healing. I never get use to the loneliness and it was never like me until I got sick. For me, the difficulty of feeling alone, is not the lack of a physical being near me all the time, but my mind wanders when alone. I find that it is imperative that I try to not dwell on the negatives and try to distract my mind-easier said than done!!! Many of us know how you feel, so in that manner you are not alone. Good luck climber
Posts: 108 | From Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2010
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James1979
Unregistered
posted
Hi Tricia, I'm so sorry you are feeling lonely. IMO, there's almost nothing worse than loneliness, AKA "the silent death".
Have you tried taking natural supplements which help to combat loneliness? Loneliness can be highly correlated with low serotonin levels, and there are some wonderful supplements that are good at raising your levels of that neurotransmitter. Not only can the stress of chronic illness lower your serotonin levels, but also the borrelia bacteria have been shown to directly lower serotonin. This might make you more susceptible to feeling lonely.
Another solution is to try to pray/meditate more, if that is your thing. We are much less likely to feel lonely if we can feel in love with God, Who is everywhere present. I'm not suggesting, though, that everyone who is lonely is not close to God, because that is definitely not true. I'm just saying that struggling to be closer to Him can sometimes be helpful.
Another solution is to be around nature more, if you can. All of nature speaks and communicates together, even if we can't hear them, and it has a very positive impact on the soul. I used to suggest that people hug a tree, but after I learned that ticks can hide in the bark of trees, I stopped suggesting that! But at least sitting next to a tree can still be very beneficial.
Best wishes to you.
P.S. If you weren't so ill, I would suggest to go occupy Wall Street with the other 15,000 protesters! Now that would be AWESOME!! Ain't nobody feelin' lonely down there!
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posted
I definitely feel alone. I have a wonderful family (hubby and 2 kids) and great friends and supportive family of parents and siblings. But most of the time I feel terribly alone. No one really gets" it". Even my husband, who is as supportive as he can be, says things like" how nice it must be for you to get to lie around all day and watch tv". I am housebound most days and bedbound quite a few days a week. The LAST thing I want to do is lie around in bed all day.
So I guess my point is that, even surrounded by loving people, I still feel like I am in my own world. It is hard. Its hard to find satisfaction in my life when life revolves around medication, doctor appointments, and debilitating symptoms. What do I have to talk about with people who have no idea why living with Lyme feels like?
There are 2 support groups where I live. One of them is very large, somewhat impersonal, but good for learning and networking. The other is intimate, about 10 people at the most, but incredibly supportive and loving. These people have become family to me. I share things with them that I cannot share anywhere else. Have you looked into support groups in your area?
I also see a therapist. My time with her has been instrumental in me being able to move through my stages of grief. When I started with her, I think I was still in denial of how sick I had become. Now I am at a stage with my illness where I am ready not only to accept it, but to embrace this gift that has been given to me. I say it is a gift because I am determined to grow and learn more about myself because of Lyme. I do want to switch therapists because I found one who specializes in chronic illness.
I hope you can find some support. This forum is a great place for that, but finding people to share with face to face is even better, in my opinion. I know how hard it is. Remember, alot of the thoughts we have and the inability to think or function is a result of the infection in our brains. It should and will get better in time.
Posts: 427 | From Pacific Northwest | Registered: Oct 2010
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Lymedin2010
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 34322
posted
Yes, same here. Bottom line is that very few people give a F about this and feel the need to do any extra reading and research.
Normal people just want to live their lives and not worry about unnecessary things, like getting sick. They feel fine and healthy and no need to dwell on this. Meanwhile, if they were the ones sick, with no concrete solution. They most likely would be the ones posting and not yourself.
One thing for sure, all of us here have a greater appreciation for health and life (I am sure) at this point.
Posts: 2087 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2011
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posted
Agree - normal people don't want to go there. It's too inconvenient.
So that's where I try to address it, then - hey, it's going to be a lot more inconvenient life if this happens to you.
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I strongly suggest seeing if there is a Lyme support group in your area. It helps a lot!
Lymenet lists support groups. Go to the top of this page on the left and click Support Groups.
-------------------- "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art" - LaRochefoucauld
Lyme neuro symptoms for 20+ years. Infected in Maryland. Diagnosed with Lyme Jan 2011. (previously diagnosed with CFS, Fibro, peripheral neuropathy) Posts: 261 | From Colorado | Registered: Oct 2010
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tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
I did find one they are speaking this Saturday! I think I will go.
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
You might want to show your Mom "Under Our Skin."
It is a great educational tool for family members and doesn't take too long to watch.
I thought it was very interesting and probably would find it informative even if I didn't have lyme.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
I don't know, if she would watch it.
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
Tricia,
I hope she will. It pretty much grabs your attention from the beginning, if you can just get her in front of the TV.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
Its hard to explain. I really have no one there for me but my Boyfriend. He is a saint truly a saint. I feel bad dumping all of this on him.
She doesnt want to be bothered with my disease it interupts her life. She doesnt take an interest. She just helps me pay for things.
I have navigatedt his whole mess from day one. I got very sick after the gardasil vaccine and it turned out it activated lyme in my body. my immune system is very messed up.
I live with my boyfriend. I struggle wto support myself. Evertyhing is very taxing on me. Its been going on for a year and half.
I just made an appt. with a shrink to talk to someone.
I really want a supporive parents. My father is not in the picture at all. Like I said my bf is great but sometimes you want a parent.
My mom has a very important high stress job. But still...Its hard...and its makin my boyfriend think badly of her they way shes treating me.
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
I am glad you made an appointment with a counselor. It can help to talk to someone else and get a different perspective.
Take care
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
I'm sorry to hear that about your mom. It's great that you have such a supportive boyfriend.
Also, talking to a professional should help as well.
Folks on lymenet have always been there when I needed them and will be for you too.
Take care and God bless.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
tricia386, I am sorry your mother is treating you this way. It is hard to have a mother that is indifferent to your illness and I say that from experience. My own mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, along with a couple others and if it doesn't put her in the spotlight she could care less.
I don't care how old you are, when you are sick you want your mommy. It would be different if my mom was "gone", but the fact that she just can't be bothered still hurts sometimes. I am mostly immuned to her lack of feelings for me at this point, but sometimes it gets to me.
I do have a wonderful hubby and 2 kids which helps, but even they don't always "get it". As with anything in life, unless you are actually living with a chronic illness, you can never really "get it".
I do meditate and the people here are wonderful, but it would be nice to have a support group to go to and talk to people "in person". I hope you and anybody else feeling alone can find a way to find support and somebody to talk to.
-------------------- Down on her knees, she wept on the floor. This hopeless life, she wanted no more. Dead in the mind and cold to the bone, She opened her eyes and saw she was alone. ~Seether Posts: 427 | From Rhode Island | Registered: May 2011
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quote:Originally posted by tricia386: I did find one they are speaking this Saturday! I think I will go.
Let us know if you go to the support group and if you liked it.
It helps me. It's great when you are talking about your symptoms or feelings and almost everyone in the group is nodding their head because they understand.
-------------------- "To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art" - LaRochefoucauld
Lyme neuro symptoms for 20+ years. Infected in Maryland. Diagnosed with Lyme Jan 2011. (previously diagnosed with CFS, Fibro, peripheral neuropathy) Posts: 261 | From Colorado | Registered: Oct 2010
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