posted
I need to vent in the hopes that maybe you can give me some of your own experiences and ideas as to how to deal with this very stressful time of life. I am so overwhelmed and never get a break, and although I am not complaining or whining or looking for sympathy, I truly would love to hear some ideas as to how I can lessen the amount of stress I have. It is truly sucking the life out of me.
I used to post on lymenet under another name, but had to change it because I separated from my husband who has become truly psychotic and tried to take the kids away from me, and he used my lyme disease as ammunition.
He has shown his true colors though, and I have an order of protection. This has been going on for a little over a year. He went back to using drugs/alcohol and now is not allowed to have the kids at his home, and he is not allowed to drive them anywhere. The results of this are that I am the sole provider of transportation for all four children, including taking them here and there to see their dad, who gets angry when I am a few minutes late, although it is virtually impossible for me to be ontime since I have to wait for his emails telling me when they are ``ready.''
I spent last night in the police station reporting even MORE psychotic behavior from my ex, although this time it was directed at the man in my life and he was threatening to kill him. So, there is never a dull moment.
Physically, I am on Rocephin IV only once or twice / week. The herxes are bad. However I am still able to make it to work. I am a special eduation teacher in a high school and I love my job. But working full time, as we all know, is tough when you are not feeling well. Plus of course I am raising four children on my own.
My kids are also congenital lyme kids, and two are in treatment, two are not because they have few symptoms at this point. One of my kids is beyond difficult; I have posted lots of times on here about ways to help her. Taking her off gluten helped some.
Then of course there is the mold in my home which will require $6,000 just to remove. I am broke, my ex does not pay me what he is court ordered to pay, so I am in and out of court. When he left the house (by police escort a year ago), he stopped paying bills/etc. And only continued to pay the mortgage for a while, which left me with everything on my teacher's salary. He makes significantly more money than I do so this was quite a blow.
So I have financial troubles like many of us, begging the electric company not to turn it off, etc. I need to come up with money for the mold and so I tried to get a loan and got denied, because my credit is shot from this past year of not being able to pay bills.
I am now trying to refinance but don't have high hopes. The mold is making us all sick, we can't get well with this in our home. I have an appointment to have it removed in a few weeks but no means to pay for it yet. I am not giving up, I know something will pull through, but it is so stressful. In the meantime, I don't even want to be in my house with my kids, since they are so clearly being effected. I think our health problems have be hindered or even caused by this mold over the years.
I feel like I can never catch up with anything. Even going through the bills is overwhelming. Getting ready for the week ahead - planning meals, packing lunches, etc....there is so much to do, and I look around at the clothes that remain unfolded and there is so much laundry to do that at times it literally makes me cry. Plus I am in a constant bad mood. I am so miserable, cranky, on edge. I am so hypersensitive to sounds that even my kids' talking can drive me bonkers. And now I have to get them dressed and fed so we can leave for church...thank you for listening. It feels good to vent. CB
Posts: 114 | From NY | Registered: Jul 2011
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MannaMe
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33330
posted
How old are your children? Can they do some of the chores around home?
It's amazing how young they can start out helping with laundry, sorting wash, throwing it in the washer / dryer and helping to fold it.
They can help pack lunches and cook simple meals. Doing dishes, sweeping floors, fixing beds, dusting - all things they can help with.
If it is presented as a way to help and feel needed in the family, they will feel important and needed.
I find drawing up a chart with the chores for each child helps me to keep it less stressful. I found it easier to have each child do the same chore for a whole month before changing the list. That way they knew who was responsible and I knew who was responsible for the job.
Hope this is helpful for you.
Posts: 2252 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2011
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
I am sorry things are so very hard right now. I am proud of you for getting the kids up and out to church, that was always an event around here. That will help you through the week.
Sometimes it helped me to go into a room by myself for a few minutes and breathe deep and pray. then I could go back out and no be so on edge.
You will be in my prayers.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i wish i could help. i don't have children so am pretty useless for advice there.
the list for each child sounds good.
hey what about bartering? you know, if you have a special skill, don't know what, baking, sewing, anything. then you find someone who needs something done. and then you trade skills.
say you need housework done and they need meals cooked, just for example. they could come over and clean and you could prepare meals for them.
or if you type, you could do typing for them, or shopping or something.
might be worth a shot. i really wish i knew what to tell you.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
I try to just keep going. God knows our hearts, it's a tough battle. Life. Illness. Stress. One minute at a time. God bless..
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
I know how you feel. A few years ago, I was a single mom, two kids, working full-time at a very stressful job, and problems with my children's father. Plus my older son has autism and was a special needs kid from the get go.
I wasn't sick then and it was plenty hard enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are a courageous soul with incredible spirit and endurance. Know that.
Do you have a faith community that can help you in any way?
Do you have a good lawyer? If your ex is supposed to pay support and he isn't, then sometimes the state will take his wages for you. Legal aid can sometimes help, or your child's law guardian.
The single best thing I ever did for my stress was to develop a meditation practice. I think it might have saved my sanity.
Susie
Posts: 234 | From albany, ny | Registered: Mar 2011
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